Relatives: Chopsticks Are Rude???????????

[cabbageweevil]

Just discovered this thread.  First -- the notion that mixing of different cultures' eating implements at the same meal, is rude; is IMO beyond crazy. "Whatever works for whoever", for goodness' sake...
 
Count me in as another Westerner who just cannot learn how to use chopsticks. On my only visit to China (a three-week holiday with a friend), I found it beyond me -- I am basically the reverse of deft or dexterous with anything. Fortunately, at every place where we ate (public "eateries" only), spoons at least, were available for "severely challenged" me.  My friend, overall cleverer than I with any kind of tasks-with-the-hands, mastered the art rapidly, and duly used chopsticks thenceforth.  He did express the opinion that they seemed to be eating-implements of a less efficient kind, than had been worked out over time, in the West. On this, the mileage of the people of the Eastern nations would no doubt vary...

[Lisbeth]

I had to struggle to learn to use chopsticks, but I consider it an achievement.  My dad always prefers to eat Asian foods with chopsticks when they're made available.  He once got a fancy pair of ornamental chopsticks as a birthday gift (not to be used, but they're beautiful!). 

Last year I had a birthday party at a Chinese restaurant and they gave me a pair of chopsticks as a gift of appreciation.  I still have them-and still love them.

Heather needs to grow up.

[Ida]

My 95-year-old MIL, arthritic though she was, tried gamely to use hashi when we took her to a little downhome family-run Japanese restaurant for tonnkatsu, figuring that would be close enough to chicken-fried steak that she'd enjoy it. (She did. She was from Arkansas.) The staff put a fork at her place, but she wanted to try anyway. We were one of maybe three sets of customers that night, and got a lot of benign attention—that traditional respect for elders was definitely in play, and the grandma of the family was present and helping out. She came over to chat, and IIRC we got free desserts just because. Great experience!

Echoing at least one PP here: Chopsticks/hashi are the best possible utensils for eating salad! I keep forgetting to grab mine out of the car; I keep a coupe of pairs on the sunshade flaps. It's definitely easier to use unfinished-wood hashi than metal (including grooved) or enameled or plastic ones. I learned to use them, well, after I was 23 and moved to Berkeley. I ain't sayin it was easy; I'm a klutz of the first water. 

Just over a year ago, we were dining at a so-so Chinese restaurant where a couple of musicians we like a lot were playing a regular free gig. (Hawai'ian slack-key and song.) I was having a bad day; my fingers were stiff and so was the rest of me; I kept dropping my chopsticks and finally had to resort to a fork, and I know I was limping a bit on my sore knee when we left. One of the pair is also a massage therapist. He emailed me the next day, offering a free massage, and then extended that gift to a month's worth for free.

It was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. I've been a devoted client ever since.

That stuff, that's what etiquette is for. Kindness.

[plsander]

When I was a youngster in scouts and my father was one of the leaders he would always carry a set of chopsticks on campouts. 

One of the requirements for tenderfoot (or was it 2nd class..) was to cook a meal on your own.  The Troop's tradition was that this meal was to be sampled by one of the adult leaders.  Dad's skill with his chopsticks varied depending on how appetizing the resulting meal looked. 

[RegionMom]

I will have to pass that on to my DH--also a scout leader! 

[Eisa]

I cannot seem to manage chopsticks, either. The last time I used them was at my friend's brother's house because his wife is Japanese and made some sort of Japanese dish that you are technically supposed to eat with chopsticks. I tried, but... I honestly think their elderly, arthritic dog could have used those chopsticks better than I did.

Heather, on the other hand, was ruder than can be believed. Although I think that perhaps she was embarrassed that she didn't know how/couldn't use chopsticks and wanted to take it out on everybody else.

[White Lotus]

I personally don't carry them around with me, but I do not like using metal utensils with any food made with soy sauce -- at least, I think it is the soy sauce.  Thai cuisine uses fish sauce, rather than soy sauce (though soy sauce is sometime substituted in vegetarian iterations) and it tastes just fine with the usual Thai metal forks and spoons.  Maybe it is some other seasoning, because I only eat the vegetarian versions, or they just leave the fish sauce out without adding soy, which also works, but there is a difference in taste when soy and metal utensils get involved.  I have some lovely Korean metal chopsticks and they also give the off taste, and so are reserved for Korean food.  A person who really cannot learn chopsticks might want to try a wooden fork or spoon.  They are available, and might make Chinese and Japanese food taste better.

[katycoo]

I encourage non-chopstick users to give them a try when we're out at as Asian resturant simply because you'll never get the hang of it if you never try!  But if there's no quick success (or if there's resistance to encouragement) we move on quickly.  I don't care what others use as long as i get chopsticks.

[iridaceae]

I encourage non-chopstick users to give them a try when we're out at as Asian resturant simply because you'll never get the hang of it if you never try!  But if there's no quick success (or if there's resistance to encouragement) we move on quickly. 

 Because we've never tried before. Many times.     

Seriously I've never had more than "lucky to nab a piece" luck with chopsticks as much as I've tried. I don't need another cheerleader telling me Yes I Can!

[sourwolf]

I encourage non-chopstick users to give them a try when we're out at as Asian resturant simply because you'll never get the hang of it if you never try!  But if there's no quick success (or if there's resistance to encouragement) we move on quickly. 

 Because we've never tried before. Many times.     

Seriously I've never had more than "lucky to nab a piece" luck with chopsticks as much as I've tried. I don't need another cheerleader telling me Yes I Can!

I tend to agree, at this point it's easier to spare myself the embarrassment and just ask for silverware.

[Venus193]

I wonder whether Heather ever grew up.

[Mental Magpie]

I have seen this argument before...where numerous people had tried to teach Dark Boyfriend how to drive a stick shift and had all failed miserably.  I asked him to let me try, and lo and behold, he can drive a stick shift now....so just because you've tried before doesn't mean you had the right person teaching you.

I also think that means the snark isn't necessary; plenty of people won't try because they're afraid.  Encouraging them to try or keep trying isn't wrong.

[LeveeWoman]

If someone refuses, pushing them is rude. It puts them on the spot and can make them defensive.

[jedikaiti]

For those who've had trouble but would like to try again, you can get training chopsticks online or at your local Asian food market.

[Mental Magpie]

If someone refuses, pushing them is rude. It puts them on the spot and can make them defensive.

I don't disagree with that.