Author Topic: Silly HOA Rules  (Read 3442 times)

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ginlyn32

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Silly HOA Rules
« on: March 23, 2007, 09:37:12 PM »
Come up with the most ridiculas rules EVER for an HOA!!

You must only paint your walls white...that way they all match.

No visible swingsets from the front lawn.

No Cavorting naked snow men or women. No snow people period.

No Clotheslines.

All flowers must be tulips and they must be purple because it is a nice color and matches the white on the houses. We must not have any clashing colors.

Now you guys go!!

Ginger

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VorFemme

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Re: Silly HOA Rules
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2007, 11:58:22 PM »
Only Bermuda grass may be used in the lawn.  It must be cut to between 2" and 2.25" inches at all times.  Bare spots are forbidden, except as cleared for the flower beds for the purple tulips.  Only tan bark mulch may be used - no pine straw, no red cedar bark, and no crushed granite, marble, or other stone.

No rubber tires of any size will be used as raised planting beds, sand boxes, or other features of the landscape. 

Only rubber tires on cars, pickups, vans, minivans, tricycles, bicycles, and lawn equipment (lawn mower, wheelbarrow, etc.) may be visible around the property.  All lawn equipment, bicycles, tricycles, cars, pickups, vans, minivans, and such wheeled items must be stored inside the garage overnight. 

No dolls, action figures, or other toys may be left on the yard, in the play areas, on the porch, or where they might be visible from the sidewalk.  This includes dogs, cats, and similar animals kept as pets and playmates for children.  Children will play ONLY in the back yard, behind the fence.  They will play quietly at all times.  If we can see them or hear them from the sidewalk or in the backyard next door, they are not playing quietly enough.  No barking dogs allowed.  Cats may not hunt lizards, mice, squirrels, or birds.  They may hunt rats if any sneak in from outside the development - but only rats.  No rats may be kept as pets.  No snakes may be kept as pets.  Only mammals, fish, and birds may be kept as pets.  All animals shall be trained to eliminate waste ONLY on the property of the owner.  No exceptions.  No wild birds, snakes, or other animals are allowed to eliminate waste on HOA property - it is unsanitary.



Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

IndianInlaw

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Re: Silly HOA Rules
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2007, 11:07:31 AM »
This was a real one.

No flags, American or otherwise may be flown on the property.

For crying out loud, it was my uncle's house and he was a disabled Korean war veteran!

Shoo

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Re: Silly HOA Rules
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2007, 11:21:09 AM »
This was a real one.

No flags, American or otherwise may be flown on the property.

For crying out loud, it was my uncle's house and he was a disabled Korean war veteran!


I'd like to see someone try and tell me I can't fly the American flag on my house.  Can you say lawsuit?

freakyfemme

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Re: Silly HOA Rules
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2007, 07:03:59 PM »
Come up with the most ridiculas rules EVER for an HOA!!

All flowers must be tulips and they must be purple because it is a nice color and matches the white on the houses. We must not have any clashing colors.


The clothing on all individuals in the yard must also be purple, because it is a nice colour and matches the purple tulips that match the white on the houses.

jais

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Re: Silly HOA Rules
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2007, 07:07:52 PM »
All children playing in yards must be dressed in purple to match the tulips!  Children that will not dress in purple must play indoors at all times,

ginlyn32

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Re: Silly HOA Rules
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2007, 08:12:16 PM »
All mammels (cats and dogs) and birds and fish shall be dyed purple to match the purple tulips.

No "farm animals" kept as pets.

You shall sweep off your front sidewalk every day, regardless of whether or not it is dirty.

You shall not allow your children to color with sidewalk chalk on the driveway nor on the sidewalk on your property, nor on the sidewalk in front of your house.

Ginger
Don't Tread On Me!!!!!

Specky

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Re: Silly HOA Rules
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2007, 10:01:41 PM »
All children must participate in the Neighborhood Precision Ball Passing Team.

Adults are required to play pinochle.


IndianInlaw

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Re: Silly HOA Rules
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2007, 10:13:50 PM »
Nobody may watch Seinfeld or even mention him or any characters on the show.

They may not even mention New York City, but if absolutely necessary, they may say "The Big Apple".


This is due to his negative statements about his parent's condo association.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

ginlyn32

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Re: Silly HOA Rules
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2007, 11:11:51 PM »
No one may have a gathering of more than 2 people at their home without the express approval of the Committee.

You must bring in your garbage can as soon as the trash man gets the garbage out of it. Too bad if you have to work.

Ginger
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freakyfemme

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Re: Silly HOA Rules
« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2007, 01:55:18 AM »
You shall not allow your children to color with sidewalk chalk on the driveway nor on the sidewalk on your property, nor on the sidewalk in front of your house.

No, let them draw on the driveway......but only with PURPLE chalk.  Oh, and all stick figures must be anatomically incorrect.

blue2000

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Re: Silly HOA Rules
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2007, 02:53:53 PM »
Quote
You shall not allow your children to color with sidewalk chalk on the driveway nor on the sidewalk on your property, nor on the sidewalk in front of your house.

That's a real HOA rule I heard from a friend, as well as 
- no children playing on, or walking on, the grass in front of the house
- no children playing on the sidewalks or driveways
- no children touching the trees
- no children sitting on the porch
 Yes, they had a kid, and yes they moved, FAST before the kid grew up and wanted to play somewhere other than the house (most of the houses did not have a backyard).

Some prizes from other HOAs
- no plants other than grass except for the flower beds
- flower beds must be in HOA-approved locations, no extra flower beds allowed
- no plants other than flowers in the flower beds
- nothing is allowed to be on the lawn, not even lawn chairs (both back and front yards)
- flooring inside house must be HOA-approved
- decks must be regulation size and shape, outdoor furnishings on the deck must be regulation as well
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

jais

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Re: Silly HOA Rules
« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2007, 02:55:32 PM »
Quote
You shall not allow your children to color with sidewalk chalk on the driveway nor on the sidewalk on your property, nor on the sidewalk in front of your house.
Some prizes from other HOAs
- no plants other than grass except for the flower beds
- flower beds must be in HOA-approved locations, no extra flower beds allowed
- no plants other than flowers in the flower beds
- nothing is allowed to be on the lawn, not even lawn chairs (both back and front yards)
- flooring inside house must be HOA-approved
- decks must be regulation size and shape, outdoor furnishings on the deck must be regulation as well

Not to hijack, but anyone want to explain to me WHY they would live somewhere with an HOA? 

Pixie

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Re: Silly HOA Rules
« Reply #13 on: March 25, 2007, 03:28:40 PM »
Quote
You shall not allow your children to color with sidewalk chalk on the driveway nor on the sidewalk on your property, nor on the sidewalk in front of your house.
Some prizes from other HOAs
- no plants other than grass except for the flower beds
- flower beds must be in HOA-approved locations, no extra flower beds allowed
- no plants other than flowers in the flower beds
- nothing is allowed to be on the lawn, not even lawn chairs (both back and front yards)
- flooring inside house must be HOA-approved
- decks must be regulation size and shape, outdoor furnishings on the deck must be regulation as well

Not to hijack, but anyone want to explain to me WHY they would live somewhere with an HOA? 


I did. Because the rules kept the houses/yards tidy and in good condition.  Our neighborhood was 75% military and we were used to base housing rules.  The rules kept the resale value of our property high.

Our rules were fairly easy to follow, but some of the silly ones were:

1. No clotheslines-- not even in the backyard behind your REQUIRED privacy fence.
2. No gardens-- gardens would attract whistlepigs and critters from the open fields surrounding our subdivision.
3. Must have at least 2 trees on the property.
4. must have at least 5 shrubs in front yard (flowering bushes such as hydrangeas or roses could be used
5. All boats, trailers, campers, ect must be kept behind privacy fence and not visible to neighbors. (I liked this rule)
6.  Any outbuildings/sheds must be painted to match house.
7. No more than 3 lawn decorations in front yard-- must be kept in good repair
8. No plants or flower baskets on front porch (To keep people from hanging up plastic or silk flowers)
9. No indoor furniture will be used outdoors (no old sofas/washing machines/beds/ect  on the porch or front yard)
10. No business is to be run from house (No daycare/ puppy mills/ or selling of drugs)  this was to keep traffic down and to cut down on extra cars parked on street.

I loved our HOA and our neighborhood.

Oh also, above ground swimming pools were banned after someone emptied theirs, and flooded the neighbor's back yard and patio and ALMOST their house!



« Last Edit: March 25, 2007, 03:30:46 PM by Pixie »
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jais

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Re: Silly HOA Rules
« Reply #14 on: March 25, 2007, 03:30:07 PM »
So I guess in general they are a good thing, but some places just take it too far?