General Etiquette > Family and Children
Planning a polite escape / family holiday xmas
supernova:
Personal information has been deleted by request.
LuckyDucky:
Saphie,
I use the "pounding headache" as an escape route from time to time. the secret is in careful planning. I tend to lay the groundwork early.
Before you leave the house, mention that you have a small thumping pain in your head "but it should go away when we get there and i have some thing to eat/drink". In our situation, RN fusses a little over me when we first get there, getting me a drink/small snack. When asked if i need a tablet, i tell him that it's not that bad.
Then as Idiot's rambling intensifies, wait a little while, then mention to DBF that your headache seems to be getting worse, but you will stay becasue you don't want to be a burden. then when the Idiot gets to a point where you want to haul off and throw a glass at him, touch your DBF on the shoulder, and say very quietly, Sweetheart, i hate to do this and ruin your time, but could you take me back to the hotel. my headache is excruciating.
When painkillers are offered, politely thank the person, but say that you find the best thing is going into a dark quiet room for a lie down.
I have used this technique plenty of times, and not once have i offended anyone. RedNuts family are wonderful people but some times the pain of biting my lip gets to much so i plan ahead for the next visit.
People might find this mean or deceitful, but i find it is better to do it this way as my husband tends to get suspicious about "sudden ailments" whereas he knows i get really bad headaches from wearing glasses and contact lenses. The "bonus" is that these headaches actually can't be stopped or dulled with painkillers. so he is more likely to believe me if he can see it develop over the course of the day.
mumma to KMC:
Dh's family is, in a lot of ways, the same as Idiot. So take him and multiply his views by 5 or so.
This past Easter, there was a conversation that took place that I didn't feel my 4 month old son needed to hear. (Gotta nip it in the bud, even though he obviously didn't understand what was being said, next year he might and the year after and so on.) I looked at my dh and I said, "I don't think we need to be here for this conversation." DH put ds in his car seat and out we went. We were only there for about an hour and lots was said about our abrupt departure, but I don't need my child to learn hatred.
This Christmas I am planning on the same sort of thing happening because my MIL found out about her precious youngest son's child to be with a girl who isn't his girlfriend/intended of over 3 years. MIL is in denial that her precious little boy could do anything wrong. (Yeah, that is why he is sitting in the county jail right now on parole violations...) FIL said something along the lines of "girls from broken homes are like that..." Uh, yeah, my parents are divorced. So if any of this comes up during our visit to their house on Christmas, you better believe that after I tell them what I think of them and their ideas, we are outta there!
Bob Ducca:
--- Quote ---* Cold shocked stare, turn to DBF and say "Dear, I think I have a headache; can you take me back to the hotel?"
* Quietly turning to DBF, murmuring in his ear, and sticking him with having to make excuses
* Turning my back and ignoring Idiot and, a few moments later, suddenly press a hand to my temple
* Turning to my hostess and asking her if, by some miracle, she happens to have any Imitrex, as I seem to have left mine at the hotel
--- End quote ---
I usually went with number 1, followed by my rising and leaving the room. No discussion. DH would make excuses behind me and then follow. After a while, it just got to the point where I would say, "Okay, it's time for me to leave."
I've been there- I feel for you.
sweedetobee:
Is DBF in on the plan? Does he also find Idiot to be offensive? If he does agree with you, then it will be much easier to make a quick exit.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
Go to full version