To give a little back story on this email, my husband and I were scheduled to attend the wedding of a friend of a friend. She and her then-fiancé had come to our wedding a year and a half prior. On the day of her wedding I came down with a bad migraine and could not go to the wedding. I didn't want to bother her during her wedding preparations with a call telling her I wasn't coming, so I instructed my husband to tell them when he got there, which he did. It was already too late for them to change the catering count so I didn't think that a few hours would make much of a difference and I really didn't want to give her anything to worry about before the wedding. A few weeks after the wedding we sent them registry gifts, one place setting of fine china, and one place setting of everyday china (close to $200 in cost). I just received this email from her today:
"We received your gift in the mail the other day and I must say that we were quite surprised by it. There are a couple of thoughts that come to mind about the gift, and about the events leading up to our wedding.
First of all, we don't understand why our gift to you for your wedding was not reciprocated in monetary form, considering we gave you both a generous check.
Second of all, we understand that circumstances arise whereby a person cannot attend the wedding, and we are sorry that you were sick, however, we never received a phone call, which would have been an appropriate gesture, even though it would have been too late. The plate was already paid for, and each plate was a considerable amount of money. (I don't have to tell you that- you know how much weddings cost).
Getting to the point- the value of the gift did not cover 2 plates, let alone 1. We seriously have our doubts about whether or not a gift was even purchased which was from the heart, which would have meant more to us, or whether it was bought out of guilt, due to the fact that it got back to (your husband) that we never got anything from you. A great deal of respect was lost when a gift was received that did not amount to the cost of one plate, nor was not the amount given to you at your wedding. You know as well as we do that we did not do that to you, nor would we. If money is tight, than the response on the invitation should have been a "no".
We cannot contemplate now, or ever, the reasoning behind these events, but we are not the type to "let things go". We wanted to let you know our feelings about this. Not only are we upset, but disappointed as well. We have always gotten along well, and I cannot recall any time when I did something to offend you. More of a reason to not understand why you would do this to us. My instincts told me to tell you how we feel...it's more a matter of principle, which I was always taught to stand up for, then anything else. We appreciated the generosity of everyone who came because their gifts were sincere, which is why we are surprised by yours. If you want to write back, you can."
So if I am to understand her email, anyone who cannot afford to pay for their plates at a wedding should not attend the wedding... that would leave a whole bunch of very small weddings! Also, if she was so concerned about getting a gift "from the heart" then she should have graciously accepted what we sent her since I bought it based on the fact that I concerned about her getting all her china since I did not get all of mine for my wedding and my pattern was discontinued.
Oh, and btw, she only gave us a gift that covered about 1/2 the cost of her and her then-fiancé's plates at our wedding.
FauxPasoftheYear0727-04
I think most of us go through life believing that people, in general, are good hearted. And then you read something like this. The newlywedded couple who sent the email have essentially distilled the concept of relationship down to how much each guest gave them for their wedding. If you cannot afford the per plate cost of the wedding, don't bother attending because money matters the most. Just how guests were supposed to divine this information from a wedding invitation remains a mystery.
The newlywedded bride's speculations about motives of the giftgivers is beyond bizarre and evil. She presumes the absolute worst and moves in for the guilt manipulative "kill". And joy of joys, she announces with pride that she and her new husband are grudgeholders and only concerned for their own feelings.
Get on your knees and thank the good Lord above that someone has advertised their rude boorishness so thoroughly thus saving you and your husband the pain, confusion and heartache of trying to relate to this couple in the future
