Housewarming party question

[dings]

Hello!

My boss is in the process of buying her first home.  One of her friends wants to throw her a housewarming party, and have her register at Target or someplace.  I have never heard of registering for housewarming parties, but I guess it makes sense.  My boss is 43, but, as I said, it is her first home, and she has lived a VERY minimalist lifestyle up until now (she has basically no kitchen in the place where she lives now).

Here is the weird part, though (at least to me): the friend wants to throw the housewarming party at HER house.  Now, I always thought that one of the main points of a housewarming party is to invite your friends into your new home for the first time.  There was some reasoning that the house wasn't actually going to be ready for her to move into for another month or so, but then why not just wait to have the party until it is ready?  And my boss made a good point as well:  how is she going to know what to ask for if she isn't even in her house yet and hasn't really thought about how she wants to set it up?  What if she asks for a microwave and then realizes there isn't room for one, or something like that?  (bad example, I know, but bear with me)

I think that my boss feels weird about turning down an offer for someone to throw a party for her, but she isn't quite sure how she feels about the whole thing.  She was even kind of freaked out about the idea of registering.  And I personally think throwing a housewarming party at someone else's house is kind of weird.  Any thoughts?

[jais]

It appears to me that the friend just wants to have a party.  She needs to just do so and not use the housewarming as an excuse.  Also, I believe that they have discussed in the forum before that registering for housewarming is tacky.  I have NEVER heard of having a housewarming at a house other than the recently purchased one!  How odd! 

[becurless]

Your boss is right in my opinion. A housewarming party is to show off your new home. My family wants to throw us one at our new apartment and they even asked us to register...we don't really need anything seeing how we've been married for almost 3 years and have MORE than enough stuff.

Your boss could totally throw her well-meaning friend for a loop and instead of registering for gifts she could ask for people to make donations to a charity of her choice When I turned 14 instead of asking for gifts I told people they could donate money or items to the local humane society. It made my day.

Good luck!!!

[Chocolate Cake]

By definition, a housewarming party is held at the house that needs "warmed" (i.e. good wishes and the presence of friends and family).    Holding it elsewhere would reflect badly on your boss as though she doesn't want people to step foot in her house.  At the very least, it would be very confusing to everyone.  Lastly, this kind of party is typically hosted by the homeowner, not by someone else.

Secondly, this registry business for every occasion has got to stop.  

If I were your boss, I would tell my friend that I want to host my party in my home and that it will be sometime in the future after I'm ready.    

[Brentwood]

A housewarming party is held at the house in question. Otherwise, it's not a housewarming.

I'd put the kibosh on the idea of registering, pronto.

[Buffy2424]

The friend is probably well-meaning but she is putting a burden on your boss by "hijacking" the housewarming and telling her she needs to register. 

The party should be at the new house, with no registry.  Some will come bearing a small gift of their choosing (think bottle of $10 wine, not a new microwave or linens from a department store registry!)

I guess what your boss could do is thank her for wanting to throw her a party -- then suggest a date and time when Friend and others could come over.  If Friend is sweetly eager to do something host-y, then she can always be recruited to help cook some snacks. 

[Pixie]

If "friend" throws this party, she will be, in effect "cheating" boss out of the opportunity to have her own REAL housewarming. 

What "Friend" is suggesting is NOT a housewarming, its just a party with a gift-grab excuse.

.

[sammycat]

How can it be a housewarming party when the actual house is taken out of the equation?

As for registering - no.  I don't understand all this registering for every occasion business.

The friend is probably very well meaning but should only be involved in a housewarming as an invited guest when the actual home (and owner) is ready for the party.

[Ondine]

I thought you brought over a plant or a bottle of wine to a housewarming?

My parents got me a gigantic tin of Tim Horton's ground coffee when I moved into my place, and I thought that was awesome.

[kingsrings]

I thought you brought over a plant or a bottle of wine to a housewarming?

My parents got me a gigantic tin of Tim Horton's ground coffee when I moved into my place, and I thought that was awesome.

That is what I thought, too. Housewarming parties are not major gift-giving occasions, such as registering at Target. That is tacky.

[twinkletoes]

I thought you brought over a plant or a bottle of wine to a housewarming?

My parents got me a gigantic tin of Tim Horton's ground coffee when I moved into my place, and I thought that was awesome.

That is what I thought, too. Housewarming parties are not major gift-giving occasions, such as registering at Target. That is tacky.

If it's someone I'm close too, I've given a nice picture frame that goes with their "style," a plant, or a bottle of wine.  Something small and usually less than $10.

I've heard the "traditional" gift is bread and salt, I believe.  Anyone know a) if that's right, and b) what they represent?

[dings]

Thank you all for your input.  You have confirmed my suspicions. Housewarming must occur in actual new house, registering=tacky.

I always brought bread and salt to people's new homes; I read somewhere that is the traditional housewarming gift.  I guess if you have a big enough party, you can't have everyone bring bread and salt though.  I wonder where I read that...has anyone else heard that?

[ClaireC79]

Bread - you'll never go hungry
Salt - so your life is full of flavour

I think traditionally you included a lump of coal so you will always be warm

[blarg314]

I'd say asking employees to purchase home furnishings for their boss is pretty inappropriate as well.

[dings]

We are only an office of three right now-the other employee wouldn't be invited, so I would be the only "work person" there.  And I will probably only bring bread and salt anyway.  She only mentioned it to me because she wanted my advice on it.  And we are friends too, so it's not as bad as it seems. 

Good point though, Blarg--I often wonder about how that kind of stuff should work. She takes me out to lunch a lot, and I am always wondering if I should buy her lunch sometime.  I am her assistant, so it would probably be weird if I did try to buy her lunch, but it also feels weird letting someone buy it for me all the time, and I never do anything in return.  I did buy her a piece of chicken today though.