An unfortunate choice of words. That's all it was. This thread is being derailed.
POD, sheesh.
Sorry. I am offended, stated so, and someone asked why. Since this thread is about being offended by being invited to an "accessories" party I guess I don't see it as being all that far off to be offended by a poor choice of words in rejecting that party.
We often seem to say, having an objection to something is fine, but stating it in a way that is offensive is not fine.
By choosing to be offended, you are indicating that you do not give Ehelldame the benefit of the doubt regarding her wording. If the wording was simply a poor choice and not indicative of some greater bias, then what is the alternative? That it *is* proof of an intent to disparage others. I doubt most of us would go so far as to accuse the owner of Etiquette Hell of intentionally offending people.
And now I'm annoyed with myself for contributing to the derailment of this thread.
I don't see the thread as derailed. So maybe that's part of the problem. I don't think anyone on this site thinks it's okay to spring sales parties on unsuspecting guests, especially "accessories" sales parties, and especially your co-workers. So it's not like there was a whole lot to discuss there. And the whole thing was posted. Not just the story, so to me, that means that it's all open to discussion. You would certainly be welcome to start a thread that was only the story. And I would have dropped it if you hadn't posted your "sheesh". I'm not sure what you hoped to accomplish with that.
I'm not choosing to be offended. I'm choosing to acknowledge that it was a poor choice of words that I found offensive. The Dame has not, as Starchasm said, come to clarify her own words. She has not apologized for them. So I am interpreting the words as offensive, and would appreciate clarification, but accept that I will not get it.
As for the Dame intentionally offending people. No, I don't think that that was her aim in this case. I do think that she's human, and she chose words badly, and they are offensive. In the same way that if I make a mistake in choosing my words and someone points out that they could be offensive, I apologize, and I learn, and maybe I choose a different word next time. This site is not simply about thinking that everything the Dame says is perfect. She's a human being. And even if she were perfect at all times and you don't think that using "type" is offensive, someone may have actually learned in this thread that some people would see that as a bad choice of words and take offense. That's the point of this forum. To learn what people do and do not think is rude. So you may not see it as offensive, but perhaps you can recognize that I and several others do, and maybe you (general) will choose a different word in the future.
