Author Topic: The WORST houseguest?  (Read 13615 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

hollasa

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2649
Re: The WORST houseguest?
« Reply #30 on: April 06, 2007, 10:54:58 AM »
Both my worst house-guest stories are about my MIL.

The first one was when she came up when DD#2 was 4 weeks old, DD#1 was 2.5, and we were packing up to move to a bigger house. She said she ought to fly back the first night (she does not travel well), and then she got sick... Seems to have been an inner ear infection, or Bell's Palsy, but she woke up in the evening and she couldn't move one side of her face. Rather than come tell me - I was nursing in the living room, while DH and DD#1 were asleep - she waited until the morning when DH was awake. We took her to the hospital, and she stayed there for a week. Then she came back and kept on getting worse - I would help her get up from her bed to the bathroom, think of things to make her she might eat, and otherwise help her out (DH was at work), and try to keep the toddler quiet (it was a very small house, and did I mention I'd just had a baby?). She went off at me this one time for not changing her sheets - well, she was never out of them, and she could just ask... Eventually we got her back to the  hospital, she stayed for two weeks, we moved, and then she came to the new house. Fortunately, she stayed until she could manage stairs, and the hospital did supply a home-care worker (I didn't have to tweeze her chin, thank goodness). She would come downstairs, and sit and glower in the living room while I fed her, fed the toddler, nursed the baby, tried to eat myself, unpacked some, and tried to finish a project that I'd accepted (self-employed). She held the baby once, made one "meal" (put cream cheese on a rice cake for the toddler), and told my mother that she was surprised I hadn't unpacked more of the house. Two weeks later, DH took time off work and flew back home with her. I arranged for a home care nurse, and help at the house. A few months after that she sent a long letter about what a bad mother I was, as my toddler had (gasp) a tantrum while she was there.

We invited her up again.

DH used the "be a better person" line.

She, my mother, and my brother came up for Christmas 2005. MIL stayed with my mother a night before the plane trip We moved the girls into our room, and put a grandma in each girl's room, next door to each other. MIL complained that she had to get out the wrong side of the bed to go to the bathroom.

Christmas eve, my mother heard loud mumbling coming from MIL's room at 4 or 5am. Knowing of the previous health problems, and being a nice person, she knocked on the door to find out if MIL was OK. MIL started "ranting" (my mom's word) at her, about how she and her clan had ruined my MIL's life and future, and how she had never liked me and I was raising her grandchildren all wrong and it was my mother's fault and on and on. She nearly hit my mother, and when my mother left the room she went after her to continue the rant. Eventually, this woke DH and I up, and DH went out to tell her not to go back to bed, and not ruin Christmas for the girls.

Fortunately, the girls didn't wake up, and we basically separated the rest of the stay - MIL and DH by the fireplace in the family room, and the rest of us in the living room. DD#1 was sitting at MIL's feet at one point, and admired her necklace, and MIL said it was a family heirloom, it had come to her, and it ought to go to DD#1 as the first child of her first child - but it wouldn't, because DD#1 didn't have MIL's birth last name (she has her father's last name, the last name of the man MIL married). "Do you like it?", MIL said. DD#1 said no. Fortunately, I'd prepared the children by saying that MIL was rather old, and not well, and she gets a bit cranky sometimes especially when it's noisy, "but grandma still loves you, of course."

MIL and my mother flew back in the same plane, but different seats. My mother didn't sit by MIL in the waiting room, which caused MIL to rant a bit more at her in public. She also called a lady who asked her for advice on flying "common". We had called MIL's cousin, who MIL was going to stay with after staying with my mother for a few days, and she met MIL at the airport and took her home. She quite understood, as she had stopped talking to MIL for 10 years sometime previously. My mother has not talked to her since.

In deference to my husband, we stayed with MIL for 3 days last summer, but it was about 2.5 days too long. We are not doing that again.

dings

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 336
Re: The WORST houseguest?
« Reply #31 on: April 06, 2007, 11:10:50 AM »
All I know is, when it comes to houseguests, there seems to be a language barrier.  Because with my houseguests, "one week" or "two weeks" seems to actually mean one or two or six months.  Always. It's odd... ;)

Shoo

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 16393
Re: The WORST houseguest?
« Reply #32 on: April 06, 2007, 11:22:16 AM »
We have had houseguests for the past month.  The Other Mom and her two dd's I've written often about here.

We originally agreed that they could stay with us until their new house became available on April 5th.  About mid-way through March, Other Mom decided she didn't really want to move into that particular house after all, so she started looking for a different house.  Of course, the only houses she qualified for and liked were not available until later in April, or the end of April.

She asked if they could stay for the month of April.  We sat down with her and told her we were able to accomodate her only until April 5th, which was our original agreement.  Beyond that, she would have to find something else.  We were polite, calm, and united.  She took it rather well.

So they left yesterday.  It would have been easy to give in, out of guilt, out of concern for her kids, out of some sort of desire to do for her what her own family didn't seem to want to do, whatever.  But we didn't relent, and we didn't waiver.  When she would talk about how hard it was trying to find accomodations, etc. I would listen intently, then change the subject.  I refused to get drawn in.  It seemed to work.

Our house is our own again.  I wish her well, but I was glad to see her go.

dings

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 336
Re: The WORST houseguest?
« Reply #33 on: April 06, 2007, 11:32:30 AM »
Ooh, I just thought of one, but it is in reverse.  I had made plans to go visit a friend in Arizona for a week.  I lived in Northern California, and I was going to drive, by myself.  Probably a bad idea, but I was going through some rough times and I thought it would give me time to think and help clear my head.  So, I took the week off from work, got all ready, and about 2 days before I was about to leave, gave my friend a call.  Her roomate answered.  I asked for my friend. "No, she's out of town right now."  Really.  Do you know when she'll be back?  "About two weeks.  She's driving around Colorado with her boyfriend.  They just sort of left out of the blue."  Oh.  Okay.  Well gee, I am so glad I called.  When my friend got back, she was sooooooo sorry.  Turns out she just "spaced it." 

caranfin

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15629
  • I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.
Re: The WORST houseguest?
« Reply #34 on: April 06, 2007, 02:41:22 PM »
IL's never offer to cook or take us out for a meal, and generally make themselves at home sleeping in our family room until noon or later, making us prisoners in our own home as we have to tiptoe around the sleepers until they wake up. 

No, you don't have to. You choose to. No law of etiquette or common sense says you have to tiptoe around people who choose to sleep in your family room after turning down a private bedroom. Go ahead and live your life while they're there. Maybe they'll decide sleeping in the family room isn't such a good idea after all.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.

Joannie81

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2384
Re: The WORST houseguest?
« Reply #35 on: April 07, 2007, 02:01:33 PM »
We don't have many houseguests, but my brothers gf stayed with us once.  She was pregnant and due about 4 months after me.  She kept moving all my things around because she said they looked better that way.  Yeah maybe, but I have kind of strange taste and like them the way I like them.  Months later, when I had to stay at my moms for a while, she would come over with her son to visit.  She would use the diapers I had and never replace them.  She always said she forgot them.  Once or twice, maybe, but not to the point where I had to buy twice as many as I should.  Since her son could only have one type due to allergies, I started buying another brand.  I offered her a diaper doubler since I had them and they were cheap the first time she came over without them after I started buying them.  She had the nerve to make a comment that I should go back to the other kind, because now she had to make sure she brought them with her.  I said sorry, but I liked this brand better.

Twik

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 28436
Re: The WORST houseguest?
« Reply #36 on: April 07, 2007, 02:41:37 PM »
(Gives Joannie81 a thumbs up!)
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

ginlyn32

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5664
Re: The WORST houseguest?
« Reply #37 on: April 11, 2007, 03:38:54 PM »
I don't know whether I would call my parents bad houseguests...they are just clueless I guess.

My dad will talk or complain through any tv show or movie he doesn't like. Or he will just make fun of it loudly so that you can't hear it.

My mom expects to  be waited on hand and foot. She expects it to be like a hotel. I don't mind doing extra cleaning or cooking but at least help out! The last time they were here, she asked me if I wanted help in the kitchen and I said yes. She then goes, oh I was just asking to be polite. I told her that it WASN"T polite to offer help and then refuse when the offer was accepted.

When we go to their house, I am expected to help cook and clean. Sometimes I even clean their house so my mom can't talk about how we tore her house up. I know she would too.

So I think the next time they want to visit, I may point them to the nearest hotel. That way we will all be happy.

Ginger
Don't Tread On Me!!!!!

lkl492

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 418
Re: The WORST houseguest?
« Reply #38 on: April 11, 2007, 04:01:27 PM »
Great uncle kicked him so hard he knocked the dog over - onto his bad side - and could it not get up.

My jaw is on the floor.  I would have flipped out completely.

lkl492

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 418
Re: The WORST houseguest?
« Reply #39 on: April 11, 2007, 04:09:54 PM »
This isn't nearly as bad as some of the stories but it's still strange and gross.

My sister and her husband had his sister and her husband staying with them.  The visitors slept in the upstairs spare bedroom which has its own bathroom, closets, etc, but nothing resembling its own refrigerator, which apparently was a problem.

The guests brought a bunch of food with them when they came, which seems polite.  But instead of putting it in the fridge in the kitchen, apparently they were afraid my sis and BIL would eat it, so they took it upstairs with them.  Perishable food.  They didn't bother to throw the leftovers into the trash and naturally, the leftovers spoiled and the entire top floor of their house smelled like rotten food after they left.  They had eaten in bed and the bedding was stained and covered in crumbs.  Scraps of food were sitting on top of the bureaus.  It took my sis a month to get the "rotten meat" smell out of that bedroom.

lkl492

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 418
Re: The WORST houseguest?
« Reply #40 on: April 11, 2007, 04:24:57 PM »
Ok, I just thought of another weird one, but this happened to my OTHER sister.

My sis has in-laws that go everywhere in this GIGANTIC RV.  They always invite themselves to visit saying that since they have the RV they won't really be houseguests and won't really be inconveniencing anyone.  Riiiiiight. 

A couple of years ago my sis and her now-husband rented a house on a lake for a week.  Both families were invited to join them, but most people are polite enough to know that you should give them SOME time to themselves.  After all they are paying for the property.  So my family was there for the first weekend and lo and behold, here come the ILs in their giant RV.  We left on Sunday.  ILs stayed the entire week. 

Later in the week, sis had invited her best friend (Laurie) and her husband to spend the night. 

As you can imagine, the giant RV has a bathroom, so I have no explanation for this story other than the fact that the ILs know no boundaries.

On Thursday morning, Laurie was taking a shower in the house with the bathroom door locked, and MIL pounded on the door and badgered her (b/c she HAD to "go") until she got out of the shower, gathered her clothes, and got the hell out of the bathroom.

On Friday morning, my sister was in the shower and had not locked the door.  MIL walked right in and went #2 while she was showering, not 3 feet from the shower curtain.

My sister got out of the shower, got dressed, told her fiance to enjoy the remaining two days with his parents, got in her car, and drove home.

Sophia

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11759
  • xi
Re: The WORST houseguest?
« Reply #41 on: April 11, 2007, 11:25:36 PM »
On Thursday morning, Laurie was taking a shower in the house with the bathroom door locked, and MIL pounded on the door and badgered her (b/c she HAD to "go") until she got out of the shower, gathered her clothes, and got the hell out of the bathroom.

Might be a tad PA, but I think I would have spent hours in the bathroom.  Washing my hair can take 45 minutes.  Then add in shaving.  Then add some other things. 

Gambitgirl

  • Guest
Re: The WORST houseguest?
« Reply #42 on: April 12, 2007, 01:09:03 AM »
i have one, it's awful!

my younger sister came to town one weekend for her 10 year HS reunion about 2 years ago. unfortunately i got very sick and wound up in the hospital that weekend from complication from my Crohn's disease for 3 days. i was supposed to go to her reunion w/ her b/c i know a lot of her old HS friend, but obviously couldn't. i was in immense pain and doped up on morphine while undergoing tests and treatment.

my sister was supposed to stay with me that weekend so we could go to the reunion together, so I gave her a housekey and told her to still feel free to still use my house to get ready at and stay in for her reunion so she didn't have to drive all the way out to our parent's house in the county. i got out of the hospital the day after the reunion and went straight to my house to shower and change clothes b/c before i went over to my parents' house to rest and spend time with them.

i walked in and my house was a wreck! there were glasses and litter everywhere, all my beer and some of fmy ood was gone. the trash was overflowing as were the ashtrays. i found a pair of men's boxers on the floor of my bedroom and saw used condoms in my trashcan. apparently my sister brought some people over to my house for an after-party and someone had sex in my bed! sis had apparently gotten up and gone to my parents' house to await my arrival from the hospital w/o hiding the evidence for some reason ???

i went to my parents' house in a fury and confronted sis. her defense??? "i didn't know you would be going right back to you house after you got out of the hospital! i was going to go back and clean it up after you got here!"

i said, "what? so it was ok if i didn't find out!" she had the gall to get angry at me for catching her out! she said "if you did that to me i wouldn't be upset!" and i said "that's the difference, i would never do anything so horrible!" turns out she was the one who has sex in my bed with a former classmate  :-X

my parents were upset i was yelling so much but i told them if they dare took her side on this i would never speak to them again b/c after all i was in the hospital while she was having a party at my house and sex in my bed! my sister got all indignant and said "well if that's the way you feel about it maybe i should just leave right now!" and i screamed that that was fine by me. she got in her car and drove back to Washington, DC a day earlier than planned. my parents were upset my sister had left early and so angry, but again i told them that if they dare took her side in any way shape or form i'd freak out on them for defending her inexcusable behavior.

my parents settled down after they'd processed everything b/c it sunk it just how badly i and my home had been mistreated. this sister and i are quite close, which is why this hurt me so badly, if my older sister did this i would still be pissed but not surprised b/c she's just that way.  i didn't take her calls for a month after that and when we did talk i told her that if she ever wanted to stay in my home again she had to abide by my rules and respect me and my house or she would never be welcome in it again. i think it finally sunk in at that point how mad i was and she apologized and said she would never treat me like that again. she hasn't...but i still am deeply bothered to think she has that level of disgusting rudeness and insensitivity in her to think she could do that to me, supposedly her best friend.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2007, 01:49:20 AM by Gambitgirl »

lkl492

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 418
Re: The WORST houseguest?
« Reply #43 on: April 12, 2007, 09:18:33 AM »
On Thursday morning, Laurie was taking a shower in the house with the bathroom door locked, and MIL pounded on the door and badgered her (b/c she HAD to "go") until she got out of the shower, gathered her clothes, and got the hell out of the bathroom.

Might be a tad PA, but I think I would have spent hours in the bathroom.  Washing my hair can take 45 minutes.  Then add in shaving.  Then add some other things. 


LOL Tempting, but I'd imagine she was so shocked at having someone pounding on the door yelling that she'd been in there long enough, that she just got her stuff and got out.

Sophia

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11759
  • xi
Re: The WORST houseguest?
« Reply #44 on: April 12, 2007, 10:57:24 AM »
On Thursday morning, Laurie was taking a shower in the house with the bathroom door locked, and MIL pounded on the door and badgered her (b/c she HAD to "go") until she got out of the shower, gathered her clothes, and got the hell out of the bathroom.
Might be a tad PA, but I think I would have spent hours in the bathroom.  Washing my hair can take 45 minutes.  Then add in shaving.  Then add some other things.
LOL Tempting, but I'd imagine she was so shocked at having someone pounding on the door yelling that she'd been in there long enough, that she just got her stuff and got out.
Yah, unfortunately when other people behave really really badly, sometimes our brain just freezes.  I would have definately done it the second time though.  She was smart to leave early.  I am sure her bf had lots of fun without her. NOT.   

I don't think I would have had to deal with that.  My FH is shameless.  He would say, "You need to stay out of the house until at least noon."  Why?  "Because we will be having s*e*x."  Even if we weren't. 

Note: I added the * myself.  I figure if the word g*a*y might bring annoying ads, then so might s*e*x.