Wake for Uncle's Mother...

[ShadesOfGrey]

So my uncle's mother recently passed and the wake is tomorrow night.  I plan to attend to show my support for uncle, but should my BF come too? I dont know what is appropriate. 

Also, how long do you stay at a wake? I know it's a drop-in format for the 2 hrs, but is 1/2 hour ok to stay or too short (of course making the rounds to the family)?  I dont know his family, just my aunt/cousins.

BTW- he is an uncle by marriage, which is why it is not my grandmother's wake. 

[CrayonOutlines]

It's fine for your boyfriend to go.  And you basically stay long enough to express your condolences, etc.  So 30 minutes may be perfect for you -- you can feel it out when you get there.

[Clara Bow]

I agree with Courtney, there's no reason your boyfriend can't come, and half an hour is fine. If your uncle needs you to stay longer that's fine but as a rule of thumb unless it's a close family member I try to get in and out of wakes pretty quickly after speaking with the family unless it's obvious that they need or want me to stay.

[ShadesOfGrey]

thanks.  How about the reverse - would it be inappropriate if my boyfriend didnt come?

[CrayonOutlines]

thanks.  How about the reverse - would it be inappropriate if my boyfriend didnt come?

That'd be fine, too, IMO.

[ShadesOfGrey]

thanks for the replies.  I am not trying to set a time limit on how long I stay, but I know sometimes you can get through the receiving line pretty quickly and I dont want to just leave after that (since I will know only 4 people there).  I also wanted to make sure it isnt rude if my BF doesnt come (we're not married yet, but have been dating a while, and sometimes I am not sure what obligations we should be doing together and which ones it is ok to do separately).

much appreciated.

[Morty'sCleaningLady]

I've had a run of wakes of late (3 in 30 days) all for the boyfriend's family.  His family is old school Irish.  It's open casket and you are there for the entire 4 hour window.  Seeing as I've got 12 wake hours this month under my belt, I'd recommend 1/2 hour to an hour.  Go in, see the casket, say a prayer or a goodbye.  Visit the next of kin for a few minutes (more if there isn't a line behind you).  Then visit the family.  If someone you would like to see isn't there yet, give it an extra 15 minutes in case they arrive.

As for your boyfriend's attendance, it's up to him and his work schedule.

[ShadesOfGrey]

thank you.