I know this thread is a month old, but I had to respond because this really resonates with me too.
Like LadyBatman, my birthdays as a kid were pretty non existent too. I never ever had a birthday party as a child, birthdays were always treated as just another day, no big deal at all. They did get me a present. My mother is the only one who calls me on my birthday, not my father or my two brothers. My husbands family acknowledges it more!
When I turned 40, a friend of mine and my husband whom we used to work with back in the day, invited us over to his house on my actual birthday. He and his wife surprised me with a homemade birthday card from their daughter, balloons, and a cake. I was overwhelmed and so incredibly touched that they would go out of their way for me like that. It is something I will never forget. Likewise, we went to a birthday party the following day for another friends child who's birthday is two days before mine. They also surprised me with a separate cake, and sang happy birthday to me. Again, I was speechless.
My husband and I did host our immediate families at a restaurant, the following week. That remains the only actual party including my parents that I've ever had.
Both of my boys have had a family and friends party every year. But, starting last year at age 10, my older son instead of the family and friends party, he gets to choose 3 or 4 friends and we take them out. This year he chose Gameworks, and lunch at TGI Friday's. Lasy year was glow in the dark mini golf. We told my younger son that when he turns 10, he can do the same thing. He turns 8 this summer, so two more years of the family and friends parties.