Sam, can we just go over a few of the laws of physics?
1) You are not able to bi-locate. This means you cannot be on the bed at dusk for your nightly ritual of looking out the window before we close the blinds for the evening AND also be snoozing on the spare lounge . Running between the two and jumping on them and barking in frustration will not help. It WILL annoy the Humans, who will ban you from both until you calm down.
2) You have 4 feet. To run on lino, you need to slow down a little, or you do the 'puppy rhumba' and look like a spider trying to rollerskate. While I find this highly amusing, it means you spend a great deal of energy to move only a few metres. It also means you have zero chance of catching that cat the chickens are making a fuss about, because it takes you too long to charge out the back door.
3) You are a dog. That means, you have free range through the house, may sleep or snooze as you wish, and are expected to guard. You are paid for this service in treats, pats, long walks, adoration by your family and the public (no really, these guys almost have their own fan-club with the local Zumba group!), and large chewies and pigs ears. You do not have to stay up when your Human can't sleep. Should you do so, please cease and desist the grumbling every 10 minutes after midnight because you think it's past sleepy time. When the Human finally goes to bed, it is very impolite to growl every time they move because you want them to stay put.
And 4) I love that you love watching tv documentaries. Especially animal docos like the cassowary one from the other day. The look on your face when you saw the size of them was priceless, as was your "I want to play!" attempts to engage with the chicks. I'm going to youtube it one day.
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