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Author Topic: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)  (Read 1507765 times)

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VorFemme

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1650 on: November 08, 2009, 10:35:31 AM »
We'd better quit before we get harpooned!  

Naw.  I'll bet we can claw another pun or two out of here.

If you don't come up with another pun soon, I'll grill you until you do!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Now - on the hair front............(sniggering at myself).

Maternal grandmother had black hair with a little gray at the sides, and a white streak coming back from her widow's peak - VERY striking, as you can imagine.  This was the peak of the craze for streaking your hair - see photos from the 1960s of Gloria Steinem if you want a clear idea).  She was also a preacher's wife and a math teacher - not prone to prevaricating or fibbing.

My mother has the same streak - but at the back of her scalp, not nearly as striking.  Lil Sis and Younger Brother are going gray faster than I am, which is striking for them.  I'm getting the gray hair over my ears that I always thought was so good looking on Mr. Fantastic in Marvel Comics.............but it doesn't show nearly as well when the haircut is a shoulder length bob.

When DD still lived at home, I could dye my hair any shade of red or auburn and it would be taken as "natural" because she is a strawberry blonde (the same red gold shade of maize/corn silk tassels on an ear of "Indian corn").  I haven't dyed it in a year or so because it gets so dry when we are on vacation and I am swimming five or six times a week..............

This thread has gone all over the place - interesting how it keeps coming back to people dreaming the impossible dream that ONE person (in a store or library or wherever) can do the ONE simple task that would make their life perfect...............only to be told that the one simple task is one wish that the Genie from Alladin would have trouble granting!
« Last Edit: November 08, 2009, 10:53:14 AM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

artk2002

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1651 on: November 08, 2009, 11:24:32 AM »
We'd better quit before we get harpooned!  

Naw.  I'll bet we can claw another pun or two out of here.

If you don't come up with another pun soon, I'll grill you until you do!

How much do I have to shell out to prevent that?
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

MineralDiva

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1652 on: November 08, 2009, 11:40:02 AM »
We'd better quit before we get harpooned! 

Naw.  I'll bet we can claw another pun or two out of here.

If you don't come up with another pun soon, I'll grill you until you do!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Now - on the hair front............(sniggering at myself).

Maternal grandmother had black hair with a little gray at the sides, and a white streak coming back from her widow's peak - VERY striking, as you can imagine.  This was the peak of the craze for streaking your hair - see photos from the 1960s of Gloria Steinem if you want a clear idea).  She was also a preacher's wife and a math teacher - not prone to prevaricating or fibbing.

My mother has the same streak - but at the back of her scalp, not nearly as striking.  Lil Sis and Younger Brother are going gray faster than I am, which is striking for them.  I'm getting the gray hair over my ears that I always thought was so good looking on Mr. Fantastic in Marvel Comics.............but it doesn't show nearly as well when the haircut is a shoulder length bob.

When DD still lived at home, I could dye my hair any shade of red or auburn and it would be taken as "natural" because she is a strawberry blonde (the same red gold shade of maize/corn silk tassels on an ear of "Indian corn").  I haven't dyed it in a year or so because it gets so dry when we are on vacation and I am swimming five or six times a week..............

This thread has gone all over the place - interesting how it keeps coming back to people dreaming the impossible dream that ONE person (in a store or library or wherever) can do the ONE simple task that would make their life perfect...............only to be told that the one simple task is one wish that the Genie from Alladin would have trouble granting!

I'll "sea" what I can do.  And on the hair stories:  A whale of a tale if ever I heard/read one!  LOL

There...ya happy?  ;)


PeterM

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1653 on: November 08, 2009, 12:10:33 PM »
She was also a preacher's wife and a math teacher - not prone to prevaricating or fibbing.

Off topic, but math teachers lie! I'm still traumatized from 10th grade geometry. Mr. Sittig spent months drilling into us that we could always trust the Given statement in our proofs. "God, Gospel, Given," was how he put it. Then he introduced us to the type of proof where you had to prove that the Given was untrue.

"But... But... God, Gospel, Given!" I cried.

He laughed maniacally.

Quote
I'm getting the gray hair over my ears that I always thought was so good looking on Mr. Fantastic in Marvel Comics

Also Nick Fury, and Hal Jordan over at DC. It seems to be an artistic shorthand to denote a character who's been around the track a few times but can still bring it better than the young punks you get today.

I always wanted to go grey that way myself, but I don't think it would look as good now that I'm bald on top. Also, my hair just categorically refuses to turn grey or white. Despite my wife's claims to the contrary.

VorFemme

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1654 on: November 08, 2009, 12:41:45 PM »
She was also a preacher's wife and a math teacher - not prone to prevaricating or fibbing.

Off topic, but math teachers lie! I'm still traumatized from 10th grade geometry. Mr. Sittig spent months drilling into us that we could always trust the Given statement in our proofs. "God, Gospel, Given," was how he put it. Then he introduced us to the type of proof where you had to prove that the Given was untrue.

"But... But... God, Gospel, Given!" I cried.

He laughed maniacally.

Quote
I'm getting the gray hair over my ears that I always thought was so good looking on Mr. Fantastic in Marvel Comics

Also Nick Fury, and Hal Jordan over at DC. It seems to be an artistic shorthand to denote a character who's been around the track a few times but can still bring it better than the young punks you get today.

I always wanted to go grey that way myself, but I don't think it would look as good now that I'm bald on top. Also, my hair just categorically refuses to turn grey or white. Despite my wife's claims to the contrary.

Grandma wouldn't lie on a personal subject - but I never took a math class from her.  I do know that she had scathing things to say about liars.

I do know that there were a number of truths that were just never talked about in the family..........but the events aren't my story to tell.

Although I did find out that one great aunt was given a ewneek name back in the 1910s so that her name and her twin brother's name would rhyme.  Which singular name is still in the family - but would make any long lost cousins who found out their birth mother's name able to contact the right family very quickly.

But that comment could be taken hypothetically - and I am not mentioning her name...........but there may have been actual events that resembled that remark.
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

VorFemme

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1655 on: November 08, 2009, 12:46:54 PM »
Well - just ran a search on that ewneek name - only FIVE results on Yahoo and only 144 results on Google.

Which might not be the lowest ever - but isn't a huge number!

I had forgotten that there were other girls in the family named after her in later generations........
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

Animala

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1656 on: November 08, 2009, 01:04:31 PM »
Before I was divorced my married name was rather unusual, enough so that there were very few in the US a few scattered around the world and only some in *home country*.  With the combination of the old spelling of my first name and an odd last name I was the only one in the world, as far as I could tell, with that name.  This is part of the reason I gave my son a very common first name. 

I now have my maiden name and am happily much more anonymous. I got nine hits on facebook with my name and none was me since my last name isn't on FB.

HotMango

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1657 on: November 08, 2009, 06:39:13 PM »
Let me add my story about strange customer requests to change time and space...or at least Day Light Savings Time.

Back many moons ago, my job as a clerk for an Indiana newspaper was to answer the main telephone line to the newsroom and get the callers to the correct reporters and editors who just might actually be interested in why these people were calling. Now these were the days before the Internet was dispersed to the masses and way before things like Google and Wikipedia. The calls coming in were sometimes story tips but occasionally we'd get requests to answer things like trivia questions. I guess the public library was closed and they had nowhere else to turn to answer their queries?  ???

Me: MetroNews. This is HotMango speaking. How may I help you?

Caller (who just by the tone in his voice I already knew was irate about something): Yeah, someone told me that Indiana doesn't follow Day Light Savings Time. Is that true?

At this point, I'm pretty sure he's an out of stater who didn't realize the time difference and missed a very important business call or perhaps a tourist who missed his plane.

Me: Yes sir. Most of Indiana does not change for Day Light Savings Time.

Caller (so angry he's yelling at me): What?!!! That's the most ridiculous thing I've EVER heard. That goes against everything the rest of the country is doing.

Me (because really how do you come back from that): Ummmmmm.....

Caller (he's spitting out the words like hot venom at this point) : You guys all need to write a big expose' on that! What are you guys doing over there anyway? This is just lazy reporting! (slams the phone down in my ear)

Uh, yeah. We'll get right on that. All reporters to battle stations! There's a Pulitzer in there somewhere, mateys!

Thing is even if we did uncover the evils of non-DLST following Indiana and print it all in the paper, how would Mr. Out-of-State read it? Pretty much all major newspapers couldn't be read with just a few clicks of the mouse back then.   

Yarnspinner

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1658 on: November 08, 2009, 10:36:09 PM »
*irk*

BG:  The library got a referendum on the election ballot this year regards our getting a bigger share of the city budget.End BG

On Election Day, one of my colleagues got a phone call from an angry man who wanted the librarians to march down to his polling site and beat up some people who were "saying mean and untrue things" about the proposed referendum. 

She told him that wasn't her job and that it was their right to say whatever they wanted about it.

Then she hung up.

"I wonder what he would have said if he knew the librarians feel exactly the same way as those protesters," she said with a sigh.

CosmicPossum

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1659 on: November 08, 2009, 11:25:19 PM »
When my son was just just potty trained (but still needed some help), my mom & I went shopping & left little boy with my father.

We came back several hours later with my father standing in the bathroom & little one sitting on the toilet--he had sat long enough to leave a red mark around his bottom that lasted for hours!  Dad said he refused to let him clean him up.  Son's explanation---mens don't wipes hinnies!  (guess its like Hello Kitty & turns them into girls)
« Last Edit: November 08, 2009, 11:36:52 PM by CosmicPossum »

Seraphia

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1660 on: November 09, 2009, 11:21:40 AM »
Apparently, there is no way Deity gave me this hair colour it *has* to be from a bottle.  Ned said I am always a good source of entertainment.

any hair colour that has that many tones, shades, and highlights is generally natural.  Bottle colours are not THAT diverse.. phew.

She needed help.  Not a hairdresser ;)

Not according to my customer from the other day!

Customer came in wanting "red hair, but not red-red. With red highlights. But not RED-red."

Ok. Righto then, here's our hair dye. First, why don't I let you pick out a couple of colors that you think you might like.

I give her a couple minutes, then come back to check.
"How are things going? Are you finding a color or two that you like?"

Cue twenty minutes of "I like this, but it's way too red. I like that, but that's not red enough. Ooo, that's pretty, but it's too blonde. I want red-brown, but light. With red highlights, but not red-red. And darker, but not too dark."

Finally, I find her a color that is sort of a "strawberry brunette" color, if that makes sense. Explain to her how to use this as a base color. Me: "Now, what sort of color are you thinking for highlights?" Her:"Oh, this won't give me red highlights?"  ??? Nope, one color per bottle, I'm afraid. "Are you sure!?"

I'm still trying to figure out what a head full of red, blonde-brown, but not copper, and not gold, and not burgundy, and not auburn (that's too red), hair with reddish, but not TOO red, light, but not blonde, highlights, looks like.
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Coruscation

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1661 on: November 09, 2009, 03:35:17 PM »
My mother has very pale blonde hair. Apparently it looks just like the effect you are after if you use "Magic Silver White" on your hair, except it came that way. Once, her new hairdresser refused to believe it and insisted on using a product for chemically treated hair on her. Hairdresser also expressed the opinion that bleaching your hair that severely damages it and make it difficult for it to absorb product. Instead of rinsing Mum's hair in a particular product, she painted it on with a small brush. Result: purple hair. It did apparently come out a lovely shade of mauve after 10 washings but before that, it was purple. In the 60s.

Corbin

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1662 on: November 10, 2009, 09:00:08 AM »
When I took my son to the eye doctor a woman in the waiting room asked my why I let such a young kid wear colored contact lenses. I told her that he wasnt and she would not believe me! The reason? His eyes are emerald green, and she said it wasn't genetically possible for a boy to have green eyes. She kept going on and on about how it was "just like calico cats" and I was lying to her.  ::) Trust me, the kid really does have green eyes.
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Alex the Seal

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1663 on: November 10, 2009, 09:11:39 AM »
I'm still trying to figure out what a head full of red, blonde-brown, but not copper, and not gold, and not burgundy, and not auburn (that's too red), hair with reddish, but not TOO red, light, but not blonde, highlights, looks like.

Possibly a lot like my hair, actually   :D

It's a very hard colour to describe... but no, not one that you're likely to get out of a bottle  :)

Squeaks

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1664 on: November 10, 2009, 09:53:11 AM »
When I took my son to the eye doctor a woman in the waiting room asked my why I let such a young kid wear colored contact lenses. I told her that he wasnt and she would not believe me! The reason? His eyes are emerald green, and she said it wasn't genetically possible for a boy to have green eyes. She kept going on and on about how it was "just like calico cats" and I was lying to her.  ::) Trust me, the kid really does have green eyes.

I find this especially ironic as colored contacts are so much easier to handle, so if i was going to get a young kid contacts, id rather the eye color change and not loose them.