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Author Topic: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)  (Read 1509029 times)

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aka

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1710 on: November 17, 2009, 11:05:12 PM »
About a month ago now, DS's NEW (less than 60 days in service) computer quit turning on.  No matter what I did (F-8, F-11, battery in, battery out, hold key down, pray, dance around laptop, you name it, I tried it - except I don't own a rubber chicken [see TechTales.com for that story]) nothing happened.

So I called in to get a repair order and a shipping label sent to us.............the CSR was NOT listening as it took over thirty minutes and numerous attempts to "just try to turn it on one more time" to get her to escalate it to the next level.  Only time in my life I have been GLAD that my cell phone lost the dingdaggity signal!

When I was in college, my CD ROM drive stopped reading disks. I just inside the 1 year warranty, so I called tech support.

Me: Explains problem with CD ROM not registering any disks I put in and what I have already tried.
Rep: Okay, so insert System Restore Disk One into the CD ROM drive

Me: Um.. okay,  no problem.
Rep: And what does the screen say now.
Me: It hasn't changed.
Rep: There's no pop up?
Me: Nope.

Rep: Hmm. Now take System Restore Disk 1 out and put Disk 3 in and then restart
Me: <silently puts in disk 3 & restarts computer>
Rep: You should be looking at a screen that shows [insert misc startup screen]

Me: No, I just see the same normal login.  The drive really hasn't been registering any disk I put in at all.
Rep: Okay, I want you to try Disk 1 again
Me: ..... seriously?

Repeat several times until <headdesk> 
(I was calling in between classes, after waiting on hold and going through some steps, I kept running out of time and having to call back. )

Eventually they mailed me a whole new drive, which I got to install myself.  Fun times :)

Bellantara

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1711 on: November 18, 2009, 12:51:14 AM »
From bad CSRs, Lord deliver us.  ::)

Me, Dad, and the rest of the family moved the first week of November. Found out that the cable company didn't service the subdivision we moved to, so would have to get DSL from the phone company for family internet. (I have my own, from cell phone company.)

Two weeks later, I'm still fighting with CSRs to get the DSL activated. First, the order was cancelled without Dad's knowledge, permission, confirmation, anything. (I'm fighting the CSRs b/c Dad can't hear very well on the phone.) OK, I got that straightened out, was supposed to get Internet last Thursday. Didn't happen. Talked to phone company Friday night, was assured that it was an oversight, and that the DSL  would be activated Mon. night. That didn't happen either.

So I got on the phone this morning, told the CSR all of the above. Her response? "Well, ma'am, you're not going to have Internet access until you register your service. Now, I need you to--" I cut her off, explained loudly and coldly that I had DONE that, that I could not continue b/c the phone company had NOT activated the service from their end. Three CSRs later, I had a promise of DSL tonight or tomorrow. We'll see.

Dad is foaming at the mouth about all this. I'm having to keep him away from the phone. . .

Namárië

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1712 on: November 18, 2009, 09:09:57 AM »
In defense of (some) CSRs, the reason they ask the dumb questions and then "are you sure?" is because, for some customers, they really have to.

I was a patron making an "impossible" request yesterday... I was harassing a CSR for my internet service provider over chat because I had never received a bill. They needed my account number, saying "you can find it on your bill."  ::) I said I didn't have a bill, they said "Oh, just look at the bill on your online account." You need the account number to set up your online account. Then they said they couldn't help me. I said that I really just wanted to pay them.

So I got really fiesty and kept asking (politely) until finally they told me that I was set up with autopay, and thus wouldn't ever receive a paper bill, and gave me my account number.  :-[ So I didn't get what I really wanted, but it turns out I didn't need it anyway...
Competence is a trap!
I mostly don't make stuff, but sometimes I do: http://initiationcreation.blogspot.com

Mediancat

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1713 on: November 18, 2009, 02:32:23 PM »
In defense of (some) CSRs, the reason they ask the dumb questions and then "are you sure?" is because, for some customers, they really have to.

The problem with treating every customer like they're stupid, though, is that it tends to really annoy those who aren't.

Rob aka Mediancat
"In all of mankind's history, there has never been more damage done than by someone who 'thought they were doing the right thing'." -- Lucy, Peanuts

Namárië

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1714 on: November 18, 2009, 02:37:10 PM »
In defense of (some) CSRs, the reason they ask the dumb questions and then "are you sure?" is because, for some customers, they really have to.

The problem with treating every customer like they're stupid, though, is that it tends to really annoy those who aren't.

Rob aka Mediancat

I completely agree.
Competence is a trap!
I mostly don't make stuff, but sometimes I do: http://initiationcreation.blogspot.com

PeterM

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1715 on: November 18, 2009, 03:11:59 PM »
In defense of (some) CSRs, the reason they ask the dumb questions and then "are you sure?" is because, for some customers, they really have to.

The problem with treating every customer like they're stupid, though, is that it tends to really annoy those who aren't.

It's all a matter of percentages, though. If 99% of your customers are idiots, you have to live with offending the other 1%. The number of idiots is never actually that high in real life, of course, but lord it does seem like it sometimes.

My favorite take on the idea is a Dilbert strip, showing Dogbert the Tech Support Worker. He gets a call from a customer.

Customer: "My computer's not-"

Dogbert: "Shut up and reboot!"

Customer: "Hey, that wor-"

Dogbert: "Shut up and hang up!"

In the final panel, Dogbert is musing that his average call time has really gone down.

Our phone and internet recently went down, so I called the tech guys. While I was on hold my wife rebooted the modem, just to be safe. Right as I'm explaining our problem to the tech support guy, she comes in to tell me everything's working fine now. So I segued into "But my wife fixed it, we're all good, you guys are doing a great job, have a nice day!" and hung up after telling him that nope, we didn't need anything else today. Hopefully gave him a good story to go along with all the horrors.

Sirius

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1716 on: November 18, 2009, 04:21:11 PM »

I ought to be heading to bed shortly...........but insomnia is my middle name since menopause made me a light sleeper...........or was it motherhood?  I do know it was one of the m words!

Probably both.  Not to mention the B word (bladder) and the C word (cat.)  At least, in my house the things that keep me awake are the M word (menopause), the B word and the C word.  One morning someone pulled up in front of our building at 5 a.m. and kept honking the horn.  I got out of bed, and told Mr. Sirius I was going to go outside, rip the horn out of that car, and wrap it around the owner's head.  Mr. Sirius asked me, "What time did you finally get to sleep?"

P.G. Wodehouse wrote a story (Jeeves and the Old School Chum) with a scenario in it about a new dad whose wife is out and he has finally gotten the baby to sleep, and the ensuing conversation between the new dad and the person who has pounded on the door.  Very funny, and, I'm sure, very familiar to the parents out there.

Frog24

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1717 on: November 18, 2009, 04:36:50 PM »
When I was a CSR, we had one client call in multiple times throughout the day because he couldn't send us a file.  Most of our clients were home-based businesses so we had experience with problem file uploads and firewall issues.  We sent him our usual instructions on how to bypass his firewall and send us files, as well as walking him through them on the phone several times, all to no avail. 

I was the last CSR he spoke with and when he told me nothing we sent him helped, I gently asked if he knew someone who perhaps had more technical knowledge that would be able to assist him.  He said: "I have a whole IT department downstairs!"  He never thought to tell us he was trying from his office and didn't know there could be more elaborate  firewall systems in an office than in the average home. 

Truly, being a CSR is a bit like being Sherlock Holmes; you need to know how to extract information from people without alienating them.

Mediancat

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1718 on: November 18, 2009, 04:52:41 PM »
In defense of (some) CSRs, the reason they ask the dumb questions and then "are you sure?" is because, for some customers, they really have to.

The problem with treating every customer like they're stupid, though, is that it tends to really annoy those who aren't.

It's all a matter of percentages, though. If 99% of your customers are idiots, you have to live with offending the other 1%. The number of idiots is never actually that high in real life, of course, but lord it does seem like it sometimes.


-- Yes, but then that one percent gets justifiably upset, and then the CSR has to deal with an irritated customer who doesn't appreciatebeing patronized.

Why not just treat every customer neutrally until they prove themselves one way or the other?

Rob aka Mediancat
"In all of mankind's history, there has never been more damage done than by someone who 'thought they were doing the right thing'." -- Lucy, Peanuts

dawbs

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1719 on: November 18, 2009, 08:38:49 PM »
In defense of (some) CSRs, the reason they ask the dumb questions and then "are you sure?" is because, for some customers, they really have to.

The problem with treating every customer like they're stupid, though, is that it tends to really annoy those who aren't.

It's all a matter of percentages, though. If 99% of your customers are idiots, you have to live with offending the other 1%. The number of idiots is never actually that high in real life, of course, but lord it does seem like it sometimes.


-- Yes, but then that one percent gets justifiably upset, and then the CSR has to deal with an irritated customer who doesn't appreciatebeing patronized.

Why not just treat every customer neutrally until they prove themselves one way or the other?

Rob aka Mediancat
Sometimes what one person sees as neutral, another sees as patronizing. 
Saying "Is the computer plugged in?"
"If you wiggle it, is the connection loose?"
"Is the power strip to which it is plugged in turned on?"
"Is the light on the power strip on?"

That's going to be patronizing to one person.
But, using the cues the customer gives, it's completely necessary to the other 3 who one talks to.

kareng57

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1720 on: November 18, 2009, 08:59:14 PM »
In defense of (some) CSRs, the reason they ask the dumb questions and then "are you sure?" is because, for some customers, they really have to.

I was a patron making an "impossible" request yesterday... I was harassing a CSR for my internet service provider over chat because I had never received a bill. They needed my account number, saying "you can find it on your bill."  ::) I said I didn't have a bill, they said "Oh, just look at the bill on your online account." You need the account number to set up your online account. Then they said they couldn't help me. I said that I really just wanted to pay them.

So I got really fiesty and kept asking (politely) until finally they told me that I was set up with autopay, and thus wouldn't ever receive a paper bill, and gave me my account number.  :-[ So I didn't get what I really wanted, but it turns out I didn't need it anyway...


I encounter that a lot.  I'm not a CSR but I am in the Finance department, and lots of customers are surprised to find that they don't receive a bill when they are on auto-pay. But of course if we did that, we'd get lots of double-pays.  Either the person (or perhaps the spouse/business partner) would send in a payment at the same time that the auto-pay was being processed. Our customers are business customers, and some eventually want to be taken of auto-pay, because their accountant insists on seeing an invoice each month.

Also - we do have customers calling in who insist that they have an account with us - and we just can't find anything.  It turns out that they have an account with our major competitor and have become confused.  When they finally figure it out, of course it's our fault...

PeterM

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1721 on: November 18, 2009, 09:40:54 PM »
Also - we do have customers calling in who insist that they have an account with us - and we just can't find anything.  It turns out that they have an account with our major competitor and have become confused.  When they finally figure it out, of course it's our fault...

I can do one better, since presumably your competitor provides the same basic service.

Years ago I rented an apartment from a company where a friend of mine worked. I'd have sworn the realtor who showed me through the apartment told me it had a gas stove, so I'd need to set up an account with the gas company.

So I get on the horn with the gas company, but they have no record of servicing my building. I don't know what's going on, so I call my friend down at the property manager's office to tell her this. She takes my word for it that I have a gas stove and calls up the gas company herself, as a representative of the building's owners. The gas rep still can't find any record of servicing my building so he asks her, are you sure it's a gas stove. And my friend Amy, showing more loyalty than I deserved, said, Well, I assume Peter knows what he's talking about. He's not stupid.

Except, well, yeah. Electric stove. In my defense I rarely cooked back then. If I'd bothered to turn on the stove I think - I can't prove, but I choose to believe - that I'd have noticed whether or not open flames came flying out of the burners.

Yarnspinner

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1722 on: November 18, 2009, 11:16:15 PM »
One of my co-workers is being stalked by a lady with a laptop.  Lady doesn't know how to use her computer and she refuses to learn, bringing it back to the library every time something goes wrong.  Co-worker is almost at his wit's end>  One of his conversations with her of late went like this:

Lady: I can't access the wireless here.
Coworker: Gee, it's installed on every floor, you shouldn't have a problem
(Coworker checks her computer and, sure enough, there is our bandwidth and name just waiting for her to click.)
Coworker: Ma'am, you only have to click on that and you can use the wifi without any problem.
Lady: Oh, but I want to use my apartment's wireless.  I don't want to use YOURS.

Coworker said it was all he could do to keep from telling her to go home and use her apartment's wireless, then.

A couple of nights ago, I tried to help a nice lady attach files to an e-mail she was sending.  She was newbie at computers and sounded so distracted and distressed.  Thing is, she was using her very own, brand new computer at home and wanted to send an article she'd just written and needed to know how to attach.

I kept telling her that she needed to get into her e-mail first and then she could click the attachment icon...which first she couldn't find, then she could, but it didn't make sense and then...it turns out she wanted to send the article to herself so she would have a copy of it.


iridaceae

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1723 on: November 19, 2009, 04:36:09 AM »
Like the tech support guy who insisted on me unhooking my (working until a few minutes ago) wireless setup, because it wasn't "standard", even though, later in the call, he mentioned casually that "all servers are down in your area".  ::) Yeah, perhaps that explained why his "standard" setup didn't work either.

Or like the tech who insisted that I go through the old power-cycle routine (you know, modem, router, computer -- or maybe it was computer, modem, router -- or was it router, modem, computer?)  Except that I had said: "I'm able to ping the first node on the other side of my modem, but tracert is failing at the gateway between your net and Level3."  I had to repeat that multiple times before he checked and found that, yes, one of their gateways to the backbone network was down.

I used to work for a major ISP and we would get people quite often who would demand that we fix their non-ISP related issues because they weren't going to pay megabucks to Windows techs to get it fixed and we were free, so even though we were not Windows certified and forbidden to find do more than the scripts allowed, we'd get arguments from people. 

I'm sure some of them still complain how utterly useless I was in those situations.

 
Nothing to see here.

littlelauraj

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1724 on: November 19, 2009, 08:25:37 AM »
Years ago my husband worked in a retail establishment long known for its huge catalog.  By the time he started working there the catalog had been defunct for a number of years, and the catalog department in the store had been closed for quite some time.  Still, on occasion, a customer would come in with the intention of picking up an item they had ordered from the non-existant catalog. 

Of course, the only place they could have ordered anything from would be the other big store way at the other end of the mall, but try convincing a customer of that.  They usually got pretty annoyed that they weren't getting their stuff.  By the end of it, usually someone would have to call the other store and confirm that yes, there was a package for person X waiting in their catalog department.  My impression was that most customers didn't bother apologizing for getting beligerent.