I've often wished for a magic wand with some of my customers over the years - so I had something to jam up their noses and make them sssh!
One Christmas Eve a good few years ago, around 2-3pm, home shopping catalogue - all final deliveries went out that morning, anything else would not reach customers till after Christmas:
Customer: Hi, I'm just checking to see when my skirt will arrive.
Me: (takes account info, confirms details, etc) OK, it appears that our driver tried to deliver this morning but nobody was at home to take the delivery, so I'm afraid the item will be back at our warehouse by now. We'll arrange for another delivery to you next week.
C: Why next week? Can't you bring it tomorrow? That would be much more convenient.
Me: Errmmmm....tomorrow's Christmas Day?
Me: Well...none of the drivers will be working...they'll be at home with their families.
C: I'm sure one of them wouldn't mind dropping it off, it wouldn't take a minute.
Me: I really can't arrange that for you.
C: Oh for God's sake, how pathetic! (hangs up)
Yeah - I'm so going to ask for the warehouse to be opened up and a driver to work Christmas Day overtime to drop off something you couldn't be bothered to wait in for in the first place, love!