Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)

[Fleur-de-Lis]

Ah, that makes a difference.
Is there someone in your company that is? Get it sorted doesnt necessarily mean *you* have to actually clink the buttons yourself. Or even someone that just knows more about it that might help?

Unfortunately, the requests usually get routed directly to me by big boss. Who does at least say thank you once all is sorted out. Our IT guy is intermittently available, and the attorneys don't have time for or much interest on advanced word processing skills - except when they're out of the office and trying to work on their own. At which point, they yell for help. And expect miracles.

[Animala]

ctrl and print screen together, than just paste it into your document

I do this, but I usually drop it in paint first and crop it down to what is necessary.  Be sure to crop out anything you may want to be private.

[MyFamily]

ctrl and print screen together, than just paste it into your document

I do this, but I usually drop it in paint first and crop it down to what is necessary.  Be sure to crop out anything you may want to be private.

I crop it in word or publisher, depending on which program I'm using - they both do a good job of cropping - the newer versions of Word are much better than they used to be.

[Animala]

I always forget that Word has image editing too.

[MariaE]

Or download ScreenHunter 5.0 - an excellent freeware program that lets you take a screen shot of just the limited part of the screen that you want. I use it ALL the time for work - it's brilliant!

[sadiemae]

I use screen shots to illustrate such instructions. I also rely on remote support software. TeamViewer is free for personal use, but Windows Live Messenger has this feature in some versions.

Bethalize, thank you so much for this tip on TeamViewer! This is exactly what I need to assist my parents with their computer!

[Twik]

We had a customer yesterday wanted to know if we did an "XYZ certification".

No. In fact, after some extensive googling, we still don't even know WHAT an XYZ certification *is*. It's that obscure.

However, the customer so far has called three different staff to demand that we do this.

Because, of course, we don't actually want to perform services for hire, unless you really push us to.

[MrTango]

ctrl and print screen together, than just paste it into your document

I do this, but I usually drop it in paint first and crop it down to what is necessary.  Be sure to crop out anything you may want to be private.

If you're using Windows, you can type Ctrl+Alt+Print Scrn to copy just the active window (no taskbar or other windows included).

[Reuth]

If you have a newer version of Windows there is a snipping tool which will allow you to copy just the part of the screen that you select. If not, you can download something - I use Jing, which also lets you record videos of your screen. That can come in handy; you can actually show someone how to go through the whole process.

[toontownnutter]

Dear Patron,

No our copier doesn't do colour and sighing and rolling your eyes won't make it do colour copies. Have a problem with that? Blame the state government and their budget cuts.

[Piratelvr1121]

I just thought about the fact that this story would fit in here.

At the end of the school year I had a parent insist on seeing me. Normally, not a problem, but when I say the end of the school year, I mean that the student's last day had been 2 days previous and teachers had already finalized graded that morning. I met with the parents and the student and I was blown away. They wanted to know if there was any way for her to get makeup work. Actually, they demanded for more that 30 minutes that I just change her grade.  Really, my flabber was gasted.

Now, just so you know, there were no extenuating circumstances. She did show up for school all year, in fact she only had 5 absences.  This girl had no learning disabilities or anything else standing in her way. She just did not like me, had a bad attitude, did not turn in homework, and was a general pain in the mikta.

I had attempted steady contact with the parents, but all of my calls went unreturned, they ignored parent link, and did not show up to any parent teacher conferences.  They only time I saw them was when their daughter was suspended, and then they cut me off and informed me that they were not there to speak to me, they were there to clear the suspension.

So, why the concern and the meeting now, after everything was over and done with? My class was the only grade preventing her from going on a weeklong trip to Atlanta, complete with spending money to shop with. I had to inform the parents that no, I could not see it in my heart to give her work at this point or change her grade. When they left, the father turned to the mom and said "She's right, she is a b***h." Lovely.

Reading this, I am reminded why I quit teaching. I think the parents are getting worse and worse. That's appalling.

Stories like this make me glad I didn't go into teaching like I once considered.  I do not have the patience to deal with people like this!

[MissRose]

Oh my my my...

Dear Patron,

No our copier doesn't do colour and sighing and rolling your eyes won't make it do colour copies. Have a problem with that? Blame the state government and their budget cuts.

[Mrs.E]

We run ads in our own paper, listing deals on ads. I made up these awesome ads for one of our specials. It says:
                                          (Picture of Apt. Building pulled of the internet
Rent it out fast! This ad could be yours for just $20 per week, includes picture and color background. We will even take the picture for you for only $5!. Call 505-XXX-XXXX to start your ad today!

I have had at least 4 people call and ask when they can move into the $20 per week apartment. Do people just not read?

[Thipu1]

People don't read or, if they do, they often read in a very selective manner.  They see what they want to see instead of what's really being said.  Here's a classic example from about ten years ago.

I think we've all seen the vertical banners that museums, libraries and other cultural institutions use to advertise exhibitions and programs.  At one time, the museum in which I worked displayed three banners.  As you approached the building the banners read from left to right.  Words in caps were printed in red on the original banners.

Left: Fall film series FREE with museum admission.

Center:  William Kelly MARSHALL (an advert for a one-man show).

Right:  The X Museum.  ART for the whole community.

Believe it or not, the information desk at the museum was besieged by teenagers wanting to know about the 'FREE MARTIAL ARTS' classes.     

[ThatGirl]

I've often wished for a magic wand with some of my customers over the years - so I had something to jam up their noses and make them sssh!

One Christmas Eve a good few years ago, around 2-3pm, home shopping catalogue - all final deliveries went out that morning, anything else would not reach customers till after Christmas:

Customer: Hi, I'm just checking to see when my skirt will arrive.
Me: (takes account info, confirms details, etc) OK, it appears that our driver tried to deliver this morning but nobody was at home to take the delivery, so I'm afraid the item will be back at our warehouse by now.  We'll arrange for another delivery to you next week.
C: Why next week?  Can't you bring it tomorrow?  That would be much more convenient.
Me: Errmmmm....tomorrow's Christmas Day?
C: So?
Me: Well...none of the drivers will be working...they'll be at home with their families.
C: I'm sure one of them wouldn't mind dropping it off, it wouldn't take a minute.
Me: I really can't arrange that for you.
C:  Oh for God's sake, how pathetic!  (hangs up)

Yeah - I'm so going to ask for the warehouse to be opened up and a driver to work Christmas Day overtime to drop off something you couldn't be bothered to wait in for in the first place, love!