Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)

[FoxPaws]

Insurance Agent: I must insist on speaking with the customer directly.
Mom: If you can find a way to call Heaven please let me know. I would really like to speak to my father as well.

Reminds me of a story my mother told me about a widowed friend of hers. This lady kept getting calls for her husband from a particular company, despite telling them several times that he was deceased. Finally, in exasperation, she gave them the number to the cemetery and told them to ask for him there. Never heard from them again.

[Black Delphinium]

Insurance Agent: I must insist on speaking with the customer directly.
Mom: If you can find a way to call Heaven please let me know. I would really like to speak to my father as well.

Reminds me of a story my mother told me about a widowed friend of hers. This lady kept getting calls for her husband from a particular company, despite telling them several times that he was deceased. Finally, in exasperation, she gave them the number to the cemetery and told them to ask for him there. Never heard from then again.

slightly O/T, but in the same vein- My BFF Aidan died suddenly in 2002(he was 22, like me). Previously, he had lived at my current phone number(I inherited the number when SharedExRoommate moved to Ireland for grad school).
So, on election day a few weeks ago, I had unplugged my land line after being woken up by a "have you voted yet?" call from some organization or another(I wasn't paying attention to who, I was too sleepy). Around dinner time I plugged the phones back in, thinking the danger was over. Not 5 minutes later, the phone rang. The woman on the line was like "Hello, may I speak to Aidan Lastname please?". I, being more amused by this than I would have been six years ago, told her "I'm sorry, you need to update your records, he's been dead since 2002". She said thank you and hung up. 

[TychaBrahe]

The last company I worked for sold food and restaurant equipment.  In the US (for those not in the know) many kitchen workers are Spanish speaking. 

We got a call once asking if we could provide our ordering software in Spanish.

Amazingly enough, we could, although it would take some work and an edict from on high to make it happen.  That's because every function and message and button in this program was not labeled with things like "Exit" and "New Order."  It was labeled with things like "&Close_Program" and "&New_Order".  There was another file in which &Close_Program would be tied to its text, so you could make it say "Salida" or "Cierre el programa" or even Lose-cay the-hay ogram-pray." 

All of which I explained.  We'd need permission, a translator, and about 40 hours.

Oh, but that's not what they wanted.  They wanted the PRODUCT DESCRIPTIONS translated into Spanish. 

The national product database was, at the time, about 520,000 products, every one of them described by a 30-character, 35-character, and 80-character description.  So they wanted us to add over 75 million bytes to our database, plus pay for the translator time. 

Sweetheart, that is SO not going to happen.

[Yarnspinner]

Well I did have several library patrons expect me to type up their school reports and essays (usually plagarized straight from wikipedia), and even had a few adults provide the following conversation:

Patron: Hi, I'm looking for a job and someone told me I need a job sheet thing.
Me:  A resume?  Certainly, the books on writing resumes are over here on this shelf, and you're welcome to take up to an hour on the computer.  Although if nobody else needs it, I am able to extend your computer time somewhat.
Patron:  I don't type too good; can you do it for me?
Me:  Pardon?  Sorry, I'm not able to type your resume for you, but [opening a resume book] here are several excellent examples of resumes.  Pick one you like and go from there.
Patron:  [Looking at the example] But I didn't work in . . . uh, muh-DEE-kale transitions.  [Medical transcription, or whatever the example resume used]  Look, can't you just write my job sheet for me?
Me:  I'm sorry, I'm unable to do that.  Do you need help getting started in Microsoft Word?
Patron:  I don't do computers.  [getting frustrated]  Are you going to help me or not?  Don't you want me to get a job?
Me:  *headdesk*

I'm ferquently amazed at how many people confuse a library with some type of welfare/social organization. Or those who think they are personal secretaries.  My sis has a patron right now that she won't do anything for him besides check out books or give him a phone book.  He actually thing she (the head librarian at a college) would do all his research, make all his phone calls and, oh there was something else, but I can't remember now.

"But You're a LIBRARIAN!!!!!!  Librarians are SUPPOSED TO do this!!!!

[ginlyn32]

comment deleted by poster

[caranfin]

Then EHC had the nerve to make the hotel into a Non-Smoking hotel. Which we were not allowed to tell guests. We were to tell guests that we only had one smoking room and it was occupied.

That's bizarre.

[emeraldsage85]

I work in a fast food restaurant that has both breakfast and lunch. Breakfast is from 6:00 am to 11:00 am. At 10:30 we start preparing for lunch so we'll be ready to go for 11:00. We also change the menu signs to the lunch signs.

I can't count the number of people who come in after 11:00 and throw a fit when there's no breakfast. Any leftover breakfast is wasted at 11:00 by the manager so there's nothing I can do about it. When I explain this they get angry at me. 

I've also had people ask for things which are no longer on the menu and get angry when I can't produce it magically from the kitchen. Corporate sets our menu and sometimes they discontinue things. This means that they no longer ship the ingrediants required to make them.

Some days I feel like yelling, "What do you want me do about it?! I'm crew! That means I'm the lowest in the hierarchy so I can't do anything about your complaints! Take the corporate number and go complain there."

[ginlyn32]

Then EHC had the nerve to make the hotel into a Non-Smoking hotel. Which we were not allowed to tell guests. We were to tell guests that we only had one smoking room and it was occupied.

That's bizarre.

I know. For some reason, the hotel had this stupid policy of not telling guests No. We could not even say "that is not possible". I did not understand this at all.

I was also yelled at because I had the audacity of telling a guest that our soup was not made on site. We ordered it from another company who shipped it to us frozen. All we did was heat it up and put it in a bowl. But that was wrong.

You can see why I no longer work there.

Ginger

[FoxPaws]

I know. For some reason, the hotel had this stupid policy of not telling guests No. We could not even say "that is not possible". I did not understand this at all.

I hate this. Our company has a "yes" policy, too. Apparently, it is wrong to truthfully tell a customer that you cannot complete their project in the (often unreasonable) turn around time requested. It's much better to lie and say yes, throw off the entire shift trying to get it done, fail, and make the customer so angry that the only way to appease them is to give them the expensive, time consuming job for free.  

I'll never make management - I just can't bear to lose that much common sense.

[gibsongirl]

Oh, yes, the old "we don't want to lose customers, so tell them we can do anything they want," ploy.

I worked at a frame warehouse.  We sold matboard, mat cutters, foamcore, glass, frames, frame hardware, and glue.

One customer was duplicitous, nearly bankrupt, and would avoid our driver like the plague if the driver wanted to pick up a check.  They ended up several tens of thousands of dollars in debt to us. 

But when they called up to order the order ALWAYS got filled.  Why?

"Because they're one of our BEST customers!!!  Their order always tops a thousand dollars!"

Um, no, they are stealing from you, and you are letting them...

They eventually did go under, and left the frame company with the debt.

[Squeaks]

I don't see how what we're doing is immoral.  We don't just pick and choose people to cancel for no reason.  We have rules and regulations we have to follow strictly, some are internal policies, some are handed down from the state.  In the latter example, we can't just decide not to follow those regulations unless we want to face major fines and potential legal action.  And I'm sorry, but paying your employees under the table isn't exactly "moral" either.  It's a lovely way to try to escape from taxes but it's also illegal and we can't get caught up in all of that.  I really don't see what else we should do in this situation.

It's immoral because you are hurting the employees, many of whom may very well be completely innocent parties.  Lets say boss has legal employees, and illegal, would not canceling an entire policy would leave the legal employees, who may not have know what was going on, let alone have any say or control in it, with no coverage, could that not create a gap in coverage and lead too all sorts of problems with insurance?  Seems sad that someone with chronic pain could potentially have to suffer daily the rest of their life due to their bosses lieing, and a law that punishes the innocent the same as the guilty.

[wordgirl]

Yup!  Sure is!  I also had a call from a lady who wanted to know what the special events schedule was for JUNE already!  When I told her I don't yet have that calendar, she responded with, "Well that's not going to help me.  We need to make our reservations NOW!  I guess the Chamber doesn't plan very far in advance, eh?"  I told her that the people organizing the events (whatever they may be) do indeed plan quite far in advance, but don't let the Chamber know until closer to the time.  This is November.  Wanna know when our annual Christmas Tree Lighting is?  I've got that.  Need to know who's on the garden tour for June, when it is and how much it will cost?  Couldn't tell ya.  Sorry.  Try back in March/April-ish and I'll be a wealth of information.

Maybe it's just because we're in a tourist area, but I just got our Chamber's annual event calendar ... for 2010. It's always subject to updating, of course, but all major special events have already been allotted their datess for the next two calendar years. Your caller may have been used to a community where these things were planned out that far in advance.

[little bird]

It's immoral because you are hurting the employees, many of whom may very well be completely innocent parties.  Lets say boss has legal employees, and illegal, would not canceling an entire policy would leave the legal employees, who may not have know what was going on, let alone have any say or control in it, with no coverage, could that not create a gap in coverage and lead too all sorts of problems with insurance?  Seems sad that someone with chronic pain could potentially have to suffer daily the rest of their life due to their bosses lieing, and a law that punishes the innocent the same as the guilty.

Did you miss the part where I posted that we do not have a choice in whether or not we cancel in this situation?  The labor commissioner ordered us to cancel the policy.  They do all of their research, they have to have lots of proof before they can tell an insurance carrier to cancel like this.  What the employer is doing is ILLEGAL.  There is no way around that.  They are already in huge amounts of trouble with the state.  They are going to be shut down, by the state.  This has nothing to do with us.  We can not cover a company that is operating illegally unless we want to be subject to huge fines and potential legal proceedings. 

All claims that they currently have open with us will be paid fully.  All claimants will be allowed to continue treatment until they are discharged.  We are still liable for any settlements due to disability ratings given.  If any employee is injured on the job before the cancellation is fully complete and they are shut down, we will cover that and all of their medical bills.  However, they're going to be shut down.  There will be nothing for us to cover.  No "innocent employee" is beng harmed by us.  Even if some are being paid legally (which I doubt, that's not common particularly in the industry this company is n) their employers, are using them horribly and putting their livelihoods in jeopardy by operating illegally.  All of the employees will have to find other jobs where they will hopefully have better employers who aren't tax-dodging and scamming. 

Workers' compensation insurance companies are not morally obligated to provide coverage to insureds who operate illegally. 

[wordgirl]

It's immoral because you are hurting the employees, many of whom may very well be completely innocent parties.  Lets say boss has legal employees, and illegal, would not canceling an entire policy would leave the legal employees, who may not have know what was going on, let alone have any say or control in it, with no coverage, could that not create a gap in coverage and lead too all sorts of problems with insurance?  Seems sad that someone with chronic pain could potentially have to suffer daily the rest of their life due to their bosses lieing, and a law that punishes the innocent the same as the guilty.

Did you miss the part where I posted that we do not have a choice in whether or not we cancel in this situation?  The labor commissioner ordered us to cancel the policy.  They do all of their research, they have to have lots of proof before they can tell an insurance carrier to cancel like this.  What the employer is doing is ILLEGAL.  There is no way around that.  They are already in huge amounts of trouble with the state.  They are going to be shut down, by the state.  This has nothing to do with us.  We can not cover a company that is operating illegally unless we want to be subject to huge fines and potential legal proceedings. 

All claims that they currently have open with us will be paid fully.  All claimants will be allowed to continue treatment until they are discharged.  We are still liable for any settlements due to disability ratings given.  If any employee is injured on the job before the cancellation is fully complete and they are shut down, we will cover that and all of their medical bills.  However, they're going to be shut down.  There will be nothing for us to cover.  No "innocent employee" is beng harmed by us.  Even if some are being paid legally (which I doubt, that's not common particularly in the industry this company is n) their employers, are using them horribly and putting their livelihoods in jeopardy by operating illegally.  All of the employees will have to find other jobs where they will hopefully have better employers who aren't tax-dodging and scamming. 

Workers' compensation insurance companies are not morally obligated to provide coverage to insureds who operate illegally. 

I was just reading through past answers and coming to the realization that you were workers' comp, not straight health insurance. Which makes a HUGE difference.

Even if your state's law wasn't as it is, no worker's comp insurer would ever pay on a claim for an illegal employee. So in a sense it would be immoral NOT to cancel the employer's policy. And if any employees are injured, the employer is still liable so the employee still has recourse. Worker's comp really protects employers as much (or more) than it does employees.

[little bird]

I was just reading through past answers and coming to the realization that you were workers' comp, not straight health insurance. Which makes a HUGE difference.

  Exactly!  We're straight work comp, nothing else.  Although a lot of our claimants do seem to think we're their health insurance as well, given how many weird, completely-unrelated-to-their-industrial-injury bills we get (pregnancy tests for the claimant's girlfriend, prescriptions for birth control, they guy who submitted his cancer drug bills when his injury was an ankle sprain...)