A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Time For a Coffee Break!

Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)

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PeterM:

--- Quote from: alkira6 on January 13, 2013, 09:17:20 PM ---I don't know about anyone else, but I do not have a printing press up my behind to print copies of this book.

--- End quote ---

And the award for Most Disturbing Superpower That Would Still Be Useful In Some Circumstances goes to...

RebeccainGA:

--- Quote from: PeterM on January 14, 2013, 02:46:10 PM ---
--- Quote from: alkira6 on January 13, 2013, 09:17:20 PM ---I don't know about anyone else, but I do not have a printing press up my behind to print copies of this book.

--- End quote ---

And the award for Most Disturbing Superpower That Would Still Be Useful In Some Circumstances goes to...

--- End quote ---

*snerk*

Jocelyn:

--- Quote from: Catananche on January 14, 2013, 01:15:45 PM ---I did tech support for a while and (besides the 'normal' strange calls) this one was the best ever.

Note: ... indicates his voice trailing off
Me: Hello, techsupport, this is Catananche. How can I help you today?
Man: Yes, I have a problem with my wireless modem...
Me: Yes? What seems to be the problem?
Man: I ordered a wireless modem...
Me: Yes? <thinking "Give me something to work with please!">
Man: It has wires and I'm really upset about it!
Me: <he's gotta be kidding me!> Sir, the modem needs wires, it's made so you can use your computer without wires. It's really neat!
Man: NO!!! A WIRELESS MODEM DOESN'T HAVE WIRES! IT'S WIRELESS!!!!!! I WANT A WIRELESS MODEM!
Me: I'm sorry, but <my company> doesn't have wireless modems, we have modems that can be used for wireless internet. I can help you installing the modem you have?
Man: NO! WIRELESS!!!! WIRELESS!!! WIRELEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! <click>
Me:  :o What did just happen?

--- End quote ---
I'm not completely sure, but I suspect your caller was wearing an aluminum foil hat while talking to you.  >:D

Cami:

--- Quote from: Garden Goblin on January 14, 2013, 08:58:23 AM ---My favorite impossible request -

Them: 'Hi, I need you to walk me through task on the computer.'
Me: 'Okay, do ____ and tell me what you see on the screen'
Them: 'Oh, I'm not at my computer/home/etc....'
Me: :::headdesk:::

--- End quote ---

It's like those people who call my office for phone numbers and addresses and when you start to give them the info say, IMPATIENTLY, "WAIT A MINUTE! I need to get a pen and paper, you know!"

Why would I know that? I'd prefer to think you had a brain in your head and when YOU chose to call for information, would be prepared to write down that information.

My favorite though was the woman who called asking for that information and wanted me to text it to her phone since she was driving and couldn't write the number down. She was quite put out when I told her that I don't have a texting feature on my phone. "Well, what am I supposed to do?" I suggested she pull over at her earliest opportunity and call back when she could write down the info. Rocket science, apparently.

Mediancat:
Cami: I've gotten an audible eyeroll, though, when I say, "Hold on while I get the pen," when what I mean is, "Hold on a second until I pick it up." I understand getting annoyed if the person takes more than a couple of seconds, but in most cases I'm not actually holding the pen in my hand while I make the call.

Rob

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