A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Time For a Coffee Break!

Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)

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Garden Goblin:
My favorite impossible request -

Them: 'Hi, I need you to walk me through task on the computer.'
Me: 'Okay, do ____ and tell me what you see on the screen'
Them: 'Oh, I'm not at my computer/home/etc....'
Me: :::headdesk:::

Catananche:
I did tech support for a while and (besides the 'normal' strange calls) this one was the best ever.

Note: ... indicates his voice trailing off
Me: Hello, techsupport, this is Catananche. How can I help you today?
Man: Yes, I have a problem with my wireless modem...
Me: Yes? What seems to be the problem?
Man: I ordered a wireless modem...
Me: Yes? <thinking "Give me something to work with please!">
Man: It has wires and I'm really upset about it!
Me: <he's gotta be kidding me!> Sir, the modem needs wires, it's made so you can use your computer without wires. It's really neat!
Man: NO!!! A WIRELESS MODEM DOESN'T HAVE WIRES! IT'S WIRELESS!!!!!! I WANT A WIRELESS MODEM!
Me: I'm sorry, but <my company> doesn't have wireless modems, we have modems that can be used for wireless internet. I can help you installing the modem you have?
Man: NO! WIRELESS!!!! WIRELESS!!! WIRELEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! <click>
Me:  :o What did just happen?

PeterM:

--- Quote from: alkira6 on January 13, 2013, 09:17:20 PM ---I don't know about anyone else, but I do not have a printing press up my behind to print copies of this book.

--- End quote ---

And the award for Most Disturbing Superpower That Would Still Be Useful In Some Circumstances goes to...

RebeccainGA:

--- Quote from: PeterM on January 14, 2013, 02:46:10 PM ---
--- Quote from: alkira6 on January 13, 2013, 09:17:20 PM ---I don't know about anyone else, but I do not have a printing press up my behind to print copies of this book.

--- End quote ---

And the award for Most Disturbing Superpower That Would Still Be Useful In Some Circumstances goes to...

--- End quote ---

*snerk*

Jocelyn:

--- Quote from: Catananche on January 14, 2013, 01:15:45 PM ---I did tech support for a while and (besides the 'normal' strange calls) this one was the best ever.

Note: ... indicates his voice trailing off
Me: Hello, techsupport, this is Catananche. How can I help you today?
Man: Yes, I have a problem with my wireless modem...
Me: Yes? What seems to be the problem?
Man: I ordered a wireless modem...
Me: Yes? <thinking "Give me something to work with please!">
Man: It has wires and I'm really upset about it!
Me: <he's gotta be kidding me!> Sir, the modem needs wires, it's made so you can use your computer without wires. It's really neat!
Man: NO!!! A WIRELESS MODEM DOESN'T HAVE WIRES! IT'S WIRELESS!!!!!! I WANT A WIRELESS MODEM!
Me: I'm sorry, but <my company> doesn't have wireless modems, we have modems that can be used for wireless internet. I can help you installing the modem you have?
Man: NO! WIRELESS!!!! WIRELESS!!! WIRELEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! <click>
Me:  :o What did just happen?

--- End quote ---
I'm not completely sure, but I suspect your caller was wearing an aluminum foil hat while talking to you.  >:D

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