Author Topic: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)  (Read 662618 times)

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Yarnspinner

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3195 on: January 23, 2014, 11:06:30 PM »
Midnight Kitty, sorry--I was using that as an example.  She was the first celebrity to spring to mind...I have been asked that question since the internet first became super popular, starting with complaints that we hadn't updated Kathy Lee Gifford's recipe site and spreading to include the sites of various other celebrities who cooked and then celebrity cooks...and....so on.....But I am also pretty sure she has her own website filled with recipes and helpful hints galore....which is why I try not to look for it as I will never do anything else!

blue2000

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3196 on: January 24, 2014, 07:48:35 AM »
http://www.rachaelray.com/

Yep. You can lose a lot of time all right. ;D
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

kherbert05

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3197 on: January 24, 2014, 08:15:45 AM »
Peter M, we had a woman who used to bring in her laptop on a daily basis and would refuse our wifi server because....she wanted to use the one in HER APARTMENT on the other side of town.  We told her (repeatedly) that is she wanted to use the server in her apartment then she should just, you know, STAY HOME.  But she had an answer for that:  "I don't know what I am doing and I need your help."

Yeah, we figured that out on our own, lady.  If you want our help, then you gotta use our wifi.

And, if I had a dime for every person who insists it's our fault that they cannot access old websites which are clearly labeled with some warning like "THIS SITE NO LONGER EXISTS.  FOR OLDER VERSIONS CLICK HERE" I could buy the whole internet.  It is a mystery how so many people can figure out how to log on and surf, but they CANNOT READ THE DISCLAIMERS or the labels that say things like "The site is being updated" or "under construction, not available."   Also, I am sorry that Rachel Ray's site hasn't been updated this week, but it is not my job to get in touch with Ms. Ray and inform her.  She doesn't work here.
I was in a class for teachers to become tech resources on campus through the Region 4 Education Service Center. I had high hopes for getting some advanced training. We sat down, they handed out our laptops. People opened them, waited a few beats and annoucned them broken. I told the people at my table they had to turn the laptop on. No they argued laptops turn on when you open them. Finally I just reached over and pressed the power button. I swear you would have thought I disappeared the ship channel - it was magic.

Slow sinking feeling

Next meeting woman explains she didn't get the homework done because she couldn't connect to the wifi. We send the next 30 min with the whole teaching staff trouble shooting her problem. Her problem she doesn't have internet at home. She wanted to connect to the region 4 wifi. The woman lived in Pasadena - a different city according to google maps Pasadena is 27 miles from the ESC.

I feel like I'm in quicksand.

I ended up regularly getting in trouble because I finished whole assignments while the class was on first steps - this advanced class was basically Computers 101.

I had a coworker who refused to access school webmail site from home because she read that was the most likely way to get viruses. Regularly ranted that we shouldn't be using e-mail becuase that is how you get viruses. Was a team leader, turned off her cell phone at home because her Husband didn't want to be disturbed. Had her cell phone number on the phone tree because her husband didn't want the district to have their land line number. Got mad because she showed up for school, when it had been canselled and no one told her. (Fortunately when core team couldn't get her they called her team. I had already seen it on the news.)
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Mel the Redcap

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3198 on: January 24, 2014, 08:37:46 AM »
I work at a curtain shop. When you sew coated fabric drops together to make blackout curtains, there will be little pinpricks of light visible along the seam lines. It can't be helped; this is what happens when you stick a needle through the lightproof coating.

We regularly have people ask if we can do something about the pinpricks. Answer: Sorry, no. These people are generally understanding, and the question is fair enough because we used to be able to do something about it - we used to be able to order jars of the liquid coating and paint it along the seams to fill in the holes. (It was a pain and a half and took more time and effort than it was worth, and now it's really hard to find the liquid coating anyway, so file that under Things We Don't Do Any More.)

For the real Harry Potter moment, though, we had one customer ask if we could make a seam go away. The showroom staff thought she was asking about the pinpricks of light, and started explaining, only to have her interrupt and say no, no, she meant could we make a multiple-drop curtain without seams. As in, she thought we could somehow fuse or graft the pieces of fabric together so that you couldn't tell it had been joined.

Nice showroom staff:  :o ...No. Thaaaat's not possible.
Strange Lady: Oh. *pout*
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jmarvellous

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3199 on: January 24, 2014, 08:54:35 AM »
I work at a curtain shop. When you sew coated fabric drops together to make blackout curtains, there will be little pinpricks of light visible along the seam lines. It can't be helped; this is what happens when you stick a needle through the lightproof coating.

We regularly have people ask if we can do something about the pinpricks. Answer: Sorry, no. These people are generally understanding, and the question is fair enough because we used to be able to do something about it - we used to be able to order jars of the liquid coating and paint it along the seams to fill in the holes. (It was a pain and a half and took more time and effort than it was worth, and now it's really hard to find the liquid coating anyway, so file that under Things We Don't Do Any More.)

For the real Harry Potter moment, though, we had one customer ask if we could make a seam go away. The showroom staff thought she was asking about the pinpricks of light, and started explaining, only to have her interrupt and say no, no, she meant could we make a multiple-drop curtain without seams. As in, she thought we could somehow fuse or graft the pieces of fabric together so that you couldn't tell it had been joined.

Nice showroom staff:  :o ...No. Thaaaat's not possible.
Strange Lady: Oh. *pout*

Pardon me if I'm being dense, but can't you layer the blackout fabric and liner and tuck the seams inside? I seem to recall my cheap store-bought blackout curtains having this design. I'm not good at technical sewing terms,  but it's like a pillowcase, turned inside-out and finished.

I mean, your last customer is definitely in the wrong, but I am wondering whether that's a solution for the rest. 

Midnight Kitty

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3200 on: January 24, 2014, 02:22:06 PM »
I was the civil engineer in a design charette for a parking lot.  The client wanted trees to provide shade for the cars.  He asked the landscape architect to plant "trees that birds don't like" so the cars don't get showered with bird poop.

The landscape architect looked like this =>  ???

I give him bonus points for not suggesting that they put diapers on the birds.
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Mel the Redcap

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3201 on: January 24, 2014, 04:29:49 PM »
I work at a curtain shop. When you sew coated fabric drops together to make blackout curtains, there will be little pinpricks of light visible along the seam lines. It can't be helped; this is what happens when you stick a needle through the lightproof coating.

We regularly have people ask if we can do something about the pinpricks. Answer: Sorry, no. These people are generally understanding, and the question is fair enough because we used to be able to do something about it - we used to be able to order jars of the liquid coating and paint it along the seams to fill in the holes. (It was a pain and a half and took more time and effort than it was worth, and now it's really hard to find the liquid coating anyway, so file that under Things We Don't Do Any More.)

For the real Harry Potter moment, though, we had one customer ask if we could make a seam go away. The showroom staff thought she was asking about the pinpricks of light, and started explaining, only to have her interrupt and say no, no, she meant could we make a multiple-drop curtain without seams. As in, she thought we could somehow fuse or graft the pieces of fabric together so that you couldn't tell it had been joined.

Nice showroom staff:  :o ...No. Thaaaat's not possible.
Strange Lady: Oh. *pout*

Pardon me if I'm being dense, but can't you layer the blackout fabric and liner and tuck the seams inside? I seem to recall my cheap store-bought blackout curtains having this design. I'm not good at technical sewing terms,  but it's like a pillowcase, turned inside-out and finished.

I mean, your last customer is definitely in the wrong, but I am wondering whether that's a solution for the rest.

You are not being dense! That is exactly what we do with curtains that have a fashion fabric in front of a blackout lining. It just doesn't work with curtains where the fashion fabric has a blackout coating applied to the back of it and there is no separate lining. :)
"Set aphasia to stun!"

Tea Drinker

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3202 on: January 24, 2014, 08:15:56 PM »
I was the civil engineer in a design charette for a parking lot.  The client wanted trees to provide shade for the cars.  He asked the landscape architect to plant "trees that birds don't like" so the cars don't get showered with bird poop.

The landscape architect looked like this =>  ???

I give him bonus points for not suggesting that they put diapers on the birds.

If he wasn't specifying shade trees, there's the germ of an idea there, because birds like some trees more than others, depending on whether/what kind of fruit they have, and the size of the branches (for roosting and nests). But things like dwarf ornamental cherries aren't going to provide useful shade for cars. (And of course there are trees that people think of as small because they haven't been popular street trees for very long, so a lot of people have only seen young, small Callery pears.)
Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.

doodlemor

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3203 on: January 24, 2014, 08:24:24 PM »
I work at a curtain shop. When you sew coated fabric drops together to make blackout curtains, there will be little pinpricks of light visible along the seam lines. It can't be helped; this is what happens when you stick a needle through the lightproof coating.

We regularly have people ask if we can do something about the pinpricks. Answer: Sorry, no. These people are generally understanding, and the question is fair enough because we used to be able to do something about it - we used to be able to order jars of the liquid coating and paint it along the seams to fill in the holes. (It was a pain and a half and took more time and effort than it was worth, and now it's really hard to find the liquid coating anyway, so file that under Things We Don't Do Any More.)

For the real Harry Potter moment, though, we had one customer ask if we could make a seam go away. The showroom staff thought she was asking about the pinpricks of light, and started explaining, only to have her interrupt and say no, no, she meant could we make a multiple-drop curtain without seams. As in, she thought we could somehow fuse or graft the pieces of fabric together so that you couldn't tell it had been joined.

Nice showroom staff:  :o ...No. Thaaaat's not possible.
Strange Lady: Oh. *pout*

Pardon me if I'm being dense, but can't you layer the blackout fabric and liner and tuck the seams inside? I seem to recall my cheap store-bought blackout curtains having this design. I'm not good at technical sewing terms,  but it's like a pillowcase, turned inside-out and finished.

I mean, your last customer is definitely in the wrong, but I am wondering whether that's a solution for the rest.

You are not being dense! That is exactly what we do with curtains that have a fashion fabric in front of a blackout lining. It just doesn't work with curtains where the fashion fabric has a blackout coating applied to the back of it and there is no separate lining. :)

You reminded me of a term from the past.  A "French seam" might solve the problem, but would be cumbersome if the fabric were heavy.

http://www.sewneau.com/how.to/french.seam.html

JoW

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3204 on: January 24, 2014, 09:34:08 PM »
Back duck tape might seal the light leaks in those curtains.  It would also mess-up the way they hang.

Mel the Redcap

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3205 on: January 24, 2014, 10:05:14 PM »
I work at a curtain shop. When you sew coated fabric drops together to make blackout curtains, there will be little pinpricks of light visible along the seam lines. It can't be helped; this is what happens when you stick a needle through the lightproof coating.

We regularly have people ask if we can do something about the pinpricks. Answer: Sorry, no. These people are generally understanding, and the question is fair enough because we used to be able to do something about it - we used to be able to order jars of the liquid coating and paint it along the seams to fill in the holes. (It was a pain and a half and took more time and effort than it was worth, and now it's really hard to find the liquid coating anyway, so file that under Things We Don't Do Any More.)

For the real Harry Potter moment, though, we had one customer ask if we could make a seam go away. The showroom staff thought she was asking about the pinpricks of light, and started explaining, only to have her interrupt and say no, no, she meant could we make a multiple-drop curtain without seams. As in, she thought we could somehow fuse or graft the pieces of fabric together so that you couldn't tell it had been joined.

Nice showroom staff:  :o ...No. Thaaaat's not possible.
Strange Lady: Oh. *pout*

Pardon me if I'm being dense, but can't you layer the blackout fabric and liner and tuck the seams inside? I seem to recall my cheap store-bought blackout curtains having this design. I'm not good at technical sewing terms,  but it's like a pillowcase, turned inside-out and finished.

I mean, your last customer is definitely in the wrong, but I am wondering whether that's a solution for the rest.

You are not being dense! That is exactly what we do with curtains that have a fashion fabric in front of a blackout lining. It just doesn't work with curtains where the fashion fabric has a blackout coating applied to the back of it and there is no separate lining. :)

You reminded me of a term from the past.  A "French seam" might solve the problem, but would be cumbersome if the fabric were heavy.

http://www.sewneau.com/how.to/french.seam.html

Any sort of seam that involves sticking a needle through the fabric is going to have the same problem - and yes, coated curtain fabric is always stiff and heavy. :P We've had some that we were comparing to cardboard!
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Yarnspinner

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3206 on: January 25, 2014, 03:32:54 PM »
It's always something.  A patron asked us to get a movie she wanted to see from a library outside our system.  The movie in question:  Anna Karenina.  The 1935 version.  The ninety minute 1935 version.  The one that fits on one DVD.

She wanted to know where part two was.  She insisted there HAD to be a part two.  My coworker asked "Did the credits run?"  Yes.  "Did the screen say THE END?"  Yes.  But there HAS to be more because they simply could NOT end the movie like that!  They just couldn't!  It was much too short!  There had to be more to the story!  Get her part two!

I've put the 2013 Kiera Knightly/ Matthew McFayden/Jude Law DVD on hold for her.  It's longer, but I believe it ends pretty much the same way......

AND...the lady who wanted my coworker to deduce, based on the name of the moving truck outside her neighbor's house, where it was her neighbors were moving to.  (Are people so bored they have to sit around and dream this stuff up?)

Same lady different day--MY turn--she can't get through to  her favorite little Mom and Pop store down the block.  Something horrible must have happened.  They must be lying dead in the store because.....they aren't picking up their phone!  I finally called the store that was next door to them and they checked in and said "They have the phone off the hook because some crazy woman keeps calling them up to complain about how lonely she is....."  I called the patron and told her they were having phone difficulties and had taken the phone off the hook until it was fixed.

I hope this lady never figures out I live just down the street from her.

Yarnspinner

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3207 on: January 25, 2014, 03:56:02 PM »
And I was just reminded by another coworker of this lady who was in yesterday.

Background:  we charge 50 cents for color printouts.  This lady was made aware of this before she started printing a couple dozen pictures.  We printed them for her and she picked out six from the fifteen or more she insisted we print and said "I don't want those."  We weren't inclined to argue at the end of the day, so we said "Okay, we'll just sell you the seven you selected."

I prepared to tear the rest of the prints into quarter to make scrap paper for notes.  And she said "Can I have those papers to take home for scrap?"

I said "Sure, if you want to pay for them."

She couldn't understand that just because she had designated them "scrap" paper didn't mean she didn't owe us for printing them out.

Elfmama

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3208 on: January 25, 2014, 04:24:24 PM »
And I was just reminded by another coworker of this lady who was in yesterday.

Background:  we charge 50 cents for color printouts.  This lady was made aware of this before she started printing a couple dozen pictures.  We printed them for her and she picked out six from the fifteen or more she insisted we print and said "I don't want those."  We weren't inclined to argue at the end of the day, so we said "Okay, we'll just sell you the seven you selected."
Office Depot would have charged her for all of them, whether she liked them or not. They have their copiers set up now so that you swipe a card in them (either a credit card or a copy-machine card that you load with a few dollars) and you get charged for every copy you make.  Is it annoying when the machine cuts off the edge of the picture and you have to adjust it and make another, all on your dime?  Yes, of course.  But I'm sure they were losing money because of patrons just like Yarnspinner's.
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Library Dragon

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3209 on: January 25, 2014, 06:06:28 PM »
Our copier used to be on the honor system and we lost money every year. I put in the coin/bill type and we at least break even now.

We also have a pay the staff and pick up your computer print system. Patrons have to confirm twice that they know how many pages and how much it will be.  Two common occurrences:

1. They click no then get upset that their job isn't in the print que. "I didn't want to pay that much." Sorry, the cost is 20 cents per page. It's not a negotiation.

2. They want to pick and choose the pages they want to keep and get a refund. Sorry, no.

We try to teach everyone having difficulties how to use print selection and print preview.  Some cannot be bothered to listen then get upset that they have a blank page with an URL at the bottom.

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