Author Topic: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)  (Read 689654 times)

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Winterlight

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Well, I once IDed my new doctor by telling the receptionist, "She has lovely black hair and great cheekbones." The receptionist got a good laugh out of it, but knew who I meant.

Speaking of impossible requests, if you have questions about the G-8 Summit, calling a cleaning service is not going to be of much use. Go bug the State Department.
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

LETitbe

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That reminds me that I still have no idea what so ever of the name of my dentist!
I had called asking for Doctor X, the one my SO had seen a few months before.
Doctor X doesn't work there anymore, so I book an apointment with Doctor ?.
The plate on the street still said Doctor X, and Doctor ? didn't have a name plate on her door (there's 2 or 3 dentists in the same practice, the others had their name on their door).

I don't know how I will ever manage next time I need to see her   ::).
(By being polite and asking them to look me up, but I don't like phonecalls so I'm already dreading it).

I actually work for a dentist's office- I was just trying to be vague ;)
If you call the actual correct office, you shouldn't have any issue. It will say when they look up your name who your doctor is. A lot of dentist's offices now use email, too, if you find that easier, you may check their webpage to see if they have an address and try that first. I hate making phone calls to offices, too, and I'm a receptionist!
Just say you're calling to schedule an appointment for X (whatever work you need done, or the tooth issue you're having). They should look up your name, and they'll see your doctor. If they ask what doctor you see, just say you were originally referred to see doctor X, but you know he's not there anymore, and you're happy with whomever they have available. They'll look into your history and set you up with someone you've seen before. That's what I would do!

ETA: In my original story, the person was in the completely wrong office, didn't know the name or anything about the practice she was supposed to be at, and expected me to figure out which practice in town she was seeing. That's *totally* different than not knowing the name of your doctor. Plenty of people forget that!

CrazyDaffodilLady

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Dear Patron,

You can stand in front of me and stare at me as long as you want, but unless you have a library card you are not getting the book. 

Nor will I put the book on hold for you nor will I request another library to send it here.

My guess, in fact, that you are among the people who are the reason that all ten of OUR copies of said book are marked "missing."

No library card, no book.

If someone is unaware that they need a library card to check out a book, they're probably unaware that they'll be expected to return the book.  :P  I'm kind of wondering if the patron could actually read.
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

kherbert05

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Dear city emergency services: Do not send me a bill for an ambulance where the only payment option is by phone and then refuse to answer the phone! I have left 26 messages via google voice since the beginning of January.  Not once has the phone been actually answered and I only received a callback today while I was working to let me know that I would be sent to collections if I did not call in a payment today.  Somehow, despite your message, you will still not answer the phone.  Yes, I have been calling the correct number. Yes, I have been calling during business hours.  I almost want you to send it to collections because at least then I could pay the friggin bill!

My impossible request if for them to answer the phone during business hours.  :(   >:(
Sounds like a job for the most annoying consumer advocate reporter in your area to me. Another idea is to call your representative in city government and explain you have been trying to pay this bill in good faith and obviously people are not doing their jobs.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

nutraxfornerves

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That is exactly the kind of situation where calling or writing you city representative will get results. Someone from their office will call the emergency service office and ask why your calls are not being returned. The emergency service office will think "rats! we gotta look into this because someone important inquired." And they will look into it. I'll be they find a voice mail box full of messages because no one was assigned to check them. And people who did not think to wonder why no one ways paying bills.

Nutrax
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Twik

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Speaking of impossible requests, if you have questions about the G-8 Summit, calling a cleaning service is not going to be of much use. Go bug the State Department.
While I'm sure it would net you more information, I think planting a bug in the State Department would lead to legal issues.  ;)
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Winterlight

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Speaking of impossible requests, if you have questions about the G-8 Summit, calling a cleaning service is not going to be of much use. Go bug the State Department.
While I'm sure it would net you more information, I think planting a bug in the State Department would lead to legal issues.  ;)

*sporfle*
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

RegionMom

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I knew two girls that arranged their schedule as much as possible around a soap opera. 

Yes, VCRs were invented, but they did not have one.  No internet yet.  So, they lived their lives around a tv show.  Mid day. 

Their chosen profession?

Teacher!!

I can still almost hear the wails when they realized student teaching meant that they would be gone all. day. long. 

Not sure what happened to them. 

"young students, please pardon the grammar lesson/math class/spelling test today; I have to watch my soap!!"
Fear is temporary...Regret is forever.

MommyPenguin

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I used to put as many of my classes as possible on MWF, because I could handle the 50-minute classes much better than the 1 hr. 15-minute classes.  My attention span just wasn't that long.  :)  I'd have 4 classes in a row on MWF, and maybe 1-2 on TTh.  Soooo much better than the first semester, in which I had 4 classes on TTh.

With the library book, I'm guessing he wanted it put on hold from a different branch so that when it arrived, he could steal it.  We used to have people do that.  Our hold shelves were behind the desk and we didn't have self checkout, though, so when we got the book and asked for the card to check it out, and they said they didn't have it, we'd put it back on the hold shelf and tell them, "Oh, okay, we can hold it for a few more days, just come back when you have your card."  *Occasionally* we'd let somebody look at a book in the library, but generally only reference books that you really *could* get all your information from in an hour, not the latest hottest urban fiction that was disappearing rapidly from our system.

gingerzing

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Dear Patron,

You can stand in front of me and stare at me as long as you want, but unless you have a library card you are not getting the book. 

Nor will I put the book on hold for you nor will I request another library to send it here.

My guess, in fact, that you are among the people who are the reason that all ten of OUR copies of said book are marked "missing."

No library card, no book.


If someone is unaware that they need a library card to check out a book, they're probably unaware that they'll be expected to return the book.  :P  I'm kind of wondering if the patron could actually read.

Once at a branch library, I was doing the self check out.  I had a few books and a young girl (about 9YO) came up to me and asked if I would check out her book. 

Me: No, I never looked at that book.  I don't need it. 
Girl: I mean check it out on your card for me.
Me: What? 
Girl (huge sigh with eye roll): I want you to check this book out on your card so I can take it home.
Me: No. That is not going to happen for multiple reasons.  Use your own card or your parent's card. 
Girl (glares at me then huffs off to a woman who possibly was her adult.) 

Yeah, I don't know you from sic 'em.  So not going to happen.  However, I did point you and your grown up out to the librarians to let them know what scam you were trying to run.

Yarnspinner

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More proof that Hades is full and the doomed are walking the earth....

The young lady from my thread on Special Snowflakes, who wanted us to throw out all the "smelly patrons" because "the place smells like a urinal" also had another special request that could not be filled.

She sent one of her posse to find me.  She was seated at the microfilm reader complaining to me that it would not "fix" her photos.

Yeah, she had a torn and stained photo of herself and a baby that she had placed in between the two glass pieces which anchor the microfilm while you are spinning through it.  No amount of punching the various buttons is going to clean, repair and seal the photo, sweetie. 

Outraged that I STILL don't have an elder wand, she stormed upstairs to see if "this microfilm stuff is real."

She stormed back when she found out it was both real and boring.

You can't make this stuff up.

Yarnspinner

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Dear Patron,

You can stand in front of me and stare at me as long as you want, but unless you have a library card you are not getting the book. 

Nor will I put the book on hold for you nor will I request another library to send it here.

My guess, in fact, that you are among the people who are the reason that all ten of OUR copies of said book are marked "missing."

No library card, no book.


If someone is unaware that they need a library card to check out a book, they're probably unaware that they'll be expected to return the book.  :P  I'm kind of wondering if the patron could actually read.

Once at a branch library, I was doing the self check out.  I had a few books and a young girl (about 9YO) came up to me and asked if I would check out her book. 

Me: No, I never looked at that book.  I don't need it. 
Girl: I mean check it out on your card for me.
Me: What? 
Girl (huge sigh with eye roll): I want you to check this book out on your card so I can take it home.
Me: No. That is not going to happen for multiple reasons.  Use your own card or your parent's card. 
Girl (glares at me then huffs off to a woman who possibly was her adult.) 

Yeah, I don't know you from sic 'em.  So not going to happen.  However, I did point you and your grown up out to the librarians to let them know what scam you were trying to run.

Oh brother!  We hear that a lot ourselves!  When the internet was first in business and it was showing pretty websites and graphics instead of the dark blue background with white print....two small children demanded my credit card (well, they called it the Lieberry Credit Card) so they could buy stuff off the net.  Yeah, no, you want to buy stuff, get your Mommy in here with HER credit card.

Thipu1

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I had a similar situation to the 'Can I check this book out on your card?' post.

I was having lunch at a cafe next door to a branch of the public library when a young woman came in and began asking people if they had library cards.  It was during National Library Month and it wasn't unusual, at the time, for students to participate in a drive to encourage library membership.   

When asked, I said that I had a library card.  The young woman breathed a dramatic sigh of relief and started in on a spiel with a machine-gun delivery. 

Oh-thank-God-I-need-a-book-for-an-assignment-that's-due-tomorrow-and-I-don't-have-a-library-card-can-I-borrow-yours?-I-promise-I'll-bring-it-right-back. 

Yeah, honey and I have a bridge for sale at a bargain price.  Go hit up somebody else. I may have a soft heart but I don't have a soft head. 

camlan

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And another library story.

I was a witness to this, standing in line waiting to check out my books. My library's catalog is linked with the library catalogs of all the schools in the city. Patrons at any library can request a book from one of the other libraries, and it will be sent to the requesting library and show two days after you make the request. You can also go to the school and check the book out there.

The person in line in front of me wanted a book that was in the high school library. The public library also had two copies, but both were checked out. It was 6 pm, the high school has been closed for a couple of hours. The person had two options--wait until tomorrow and go and get the book himself, or fill out the request and pick the book up at the library in two days.

He didn't want to accept either of his two options. He wanted that book. NOW! as he repeated yelled.

Then he demanded to know the names and addresses of the two people who had the books checked out. The clerk at the desk refused to give out that information.

The guy was getting angrier and angrier. Seriously, I was beginning to be afraid that he'd try to hurt someone. Then the librarian came out of her office, phone in hand, and informed him that he had 30 seconds to leave the building or she'd call the police. He left.

(The police station is right across the street from the library. They could have been there very, very quickly.)

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


andi

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Customer the other day:

Her - I need product A.  I bought one a couple years ago here

Me -  sure, they're right over here. (Walks customer to display) I have these three models, X, Y, Z.

Her - no, I want  model 1

Me - I'm sorry, they don't make model 1 anymore. They made updates to the product over the last year so now they only have X, Y and Z

Her - I want model 1.

Me - yes ma'am, I understand you preferred the original model 1, but unfortunately the company no longer makes model 1. It was discontinued over a year ago and now they only offer models X, Y and Z.  They offer additional features the company thought people would like

Her -  can you order me model 1?  Go check your computer for me

Me - (starting to hate our "don't tell customers no"policy and gritting my teeth). Sure - my computer is over here, I'll see what we have. (Looks up the item). Right now we only have models X, Y or Z available to order.  It shows here in my inventory system that model 1 is in "discontinued" status. It's not available anymore

Her - when will you get more in?

Me - (when pigs fly...). I'm not sure ma'am.