Author Topic: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)  (Read 672649 times)

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Lady Snowdon

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I was going to post about our latest impossible situation at work, but then realized it would take way too much time to explain.

So, instead, this is what the meeting was like:
http://www.collegehumor.com/embed/6961066/how-it-feels-to-be-an-engineer-in-the-corporate-world-sketch

Everyone I've shown this to has said:  I've been in that meeting!

You don't even have to be a techie for that to happen!  I used to do customer service for a healthcare insurance company, and occasionally we'd have a meeting something like this where management wanted our input on their next great idea.  The best was when they wanted us to write authorizations for certain situations (not a job for someone who doesn't have a degree in that field!) and were very confused that we weren't willing to do that without someone more qualified looking it over.  I felt just like that engineer when I was trying to explain that my degree wasn't in any medical/behavioral health field, but instead was in history, and I wasn't qualified to give authorization to someone for medical procedures.  "But you're our best representative!".  Great, so I can answer the phone well...

darling

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No we didn't print your expensive widget, even though you put the file on the generic dropbox on Monday. You see, you have to come in and fill out a form, letting us know the name of the file, and how big it is supposed to be. Then we do a quick process to make sure it is correct, and that the size is what you were expecting, and we tell you how much it will cost. Then you have to pay for it. So calling on Wednesday morning to ask if it was finished, leading us on a wild goose chase, while you get more upset, because the person who working Monday is not here today, and finding out that you never even came it, pretty much makes me annoyed, not apologetic.

By the time I finally got out of him that he never even came in to have us start the job and to pay for it, I was not feeling very charitable. I just told him that it very clearly stated on our website, where he got the info on how to transfer the file, that the next step was to come in, fill out the correct paperwork, and give us either the group or personal account numbers for billing. We don't just print everything that shows up in the dropbox (it's used for other things, and because this equipment is so expensive, I'm not sending anything without it being prepaid).

So, I guess we were supposed to magically know that he sent the file, know that it was correct, and print it, all without being told it existed, or it being paid for... Nope. Never going to happen...

ladyknight1

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We had a call yesterday from a student wanting to take classes at a campus where no classes have been offered for over a year due to us closing the site. All websites, print materials and computer systems have been updated to no longer show that campus as an option.

I looked all over the internet to find where it might be listed still and couldn't find it. I'm truly baffled.

Yarnspinner

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Dear Patron:

You can be upset all you want about us not having books and magazine articles that prove your wiggy theories, but here's the thing:  you MADE UP this idea out of whole cloth.  I cannot get you information that proves something that doesn't exist exists. 

ti_ax

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Dear Patron:

You can be upset all you want about us not having books and magazine articles that prove your wiggy theories, but here's the thing:  you MADE UP this idea out of whole cloth.  I cannot get you information that proves something that doesn't exist exists.
Tell him all the evidence that proves he's right was suppressed.  >:D

Yarnspinner

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ti_ax, he's waaaaay ahead of you. 


I don't want to make this political and get the thread closed, but it's all so out there that I have to share.  I am keeping my opinions out of this.
S
pecifically, he believes the Depression never happened, that Hoovervilles never existed and that Herbert Hoover personally integrated the armed forces.  Since there are no books/magazine/newspaper articles to prove this, clearly, the supporters of FDR destroyed all proof and photos and we are all lemmings buying into it.  But even though he "knows" that all the evidence was suppressed, he still wants us to find the evidence.

His proof that everything was sunshine and lollipops?  Herbert Hoover's speeches.  We pointed out that EVERY president's state of the union speech is sunshine and lollipops and unicorns vomiting rainbows.  He still won't budge.

So...we are expected to find proof of his theories that, according to him, has been suppressed to hide the truth that the Depression never happened and that Hoovervilles were staged to make the other side look bad.

You couldn't make this stuff up if you sat and thought for two weeks.

Lorelei_Evil

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hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, that is rich, Yarnspinner.  Another FDR hater, but an amusing one.  Show him the GDP reports.   >:D

Twik

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Show him the GDP reports.   >:D

Faked. See how easy that is?

The problem with arguing with someone who believed in the Great Conspiracy (whatever flavour they choose) is that any statement can be countered with "they're lying". Any physical evidence can be countered with "it's been faked". Then they'll grin, "Can't give me any REAL evidence, can ya?"
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

atirial

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I have to ask - he is aware the Depression had worldwide effects, right? That it wasn't just the US stock market that crashed in that period. Does he think the UK and Canada faked theirs as well, or did the Wall Street Crash never happen?

I'm sorry, but my brain hurts.

Thipu1

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Dear Patron:

You can be upset all you want about us not having books and magazine articles that prove your wiggy theories, but here's the thing:  you MADE UP this idea out of whole cloth.  I cannot get you information that proves something that doesn't exist exists.

We encountered this all the time in the library. 

One of the classics was a lady who came in with a chip the size of the Titanic on her shoulder.
She was sure we keeping information from her because I was a grape person and she was an orange person. After all, doesn't everyone know that grape people are irredemiabley prejudiced? 

The lady was gently asked where she found information on her theory.  Her response made me want to find the jaw-drop emoticons.

'I had a dream about it.  Of course as a grape person,  you couldn't possibly understand but the dreams of orange people always tell the truth'.   

Twik

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I have to ask - he is aware the Depression had worldwide effects, right? That it wasn't just the US stock market that crashed in that period. Does he think the UK and Canada faked theirs as well, or did the Wall Street Crash never happen?

I'm sorry, but my brain hurts.

Never underestimate the strangeness of things a conspiracist will believe. There is a certain type of person who will more easily accept that we're all in some sort of global Truman Show than that something contrary to their desired theory is actually true.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

magicdomino

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ti_ax, he's waaaaay ahead of you. 


I don't want to make this political and get the thread closed, but it's all so out there that I have to share.  I am keeping my opinions out of this.
S
pecifically, he believes the Depression never happened, that Hoovervilles never existed and that Herbert Hoover personally integrated the armed forces.  Since there are no books/magazine/newspaper articles to prove this, clearly, the supporters of FDR destroyed all proof and photos and we are all lemmings buying into it.  But even though he "knows" that all the evidence was suppressed, he still wants us to find the evidence.

His proof that everything was sunshine and lollipops?  Herbert Hoover's speeches.  We pointed out that EVERY president's state of the union speech is sunshine and lollipops and unicorns vomiting rainbows.  He still won't budge.

So...we are expected to find proof of his theories that, according to him, has been suppressed to hide the truth that the Depression never happened and that Hoovervilles were staged to make the other side look bad.

You couldn't make this stuff up if you sat and thought for two weeks.

I have a book of statistics printed by the Department of Commerce in 1930.  It's so dense with charts and whatnot that it is pretty much incomprehensible.  Think studying that would keep him out of trouble for a while?   ;)

darling

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ti_ax, he's waaaaay ahead of you. 


I don't want to make this political and get the thread closed, but it's all so out there that I have to share.  I am keeping my opinions out of this.
S
pecifically, he believes the Depression never happened, that Hoovervilles never existed and that Herbert Hoover personally integrated the armed forces.  Since there are no books/magazine/newspaper articles to prove this, clearly, the supporters of FDR destroyed all proof and photos and we are all lemmings buying into it.  But even though he "knows" that all the evidence was suppressed, he still wants us to find the evidence.

His proof that everything was sunshine and lollipops?  Herbert Hoover's speeches.  We pointed out that EVERY president's state of the union speech is sunshine and lollipops and unicorns vomiting rainbows.  He still won't budge.

So...we are expected to find proof of his theories that, according to him, has been suppressed to hide the truth that the Depression never happened and that Hoovervilles were staged to make the other side look bad.

You couldn't make this stuff up if you sat and thought for two weeks.

I have a book of statistics printed by the Department of Commerce in 1930.  It's so dense with charts and whatnot that it is pretty much incomprehensible.  Think studying that would keep him out of trouble for a while?   ;)

Excellent idea!

Hillia

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ti_ax, he's waaaaay ahead of you. 


I don't want to make this political and get the thread closed, but it's all so out there that I have to share.  I am keeping my opinions out of this.
S
pecifically, he believes the Depression never happened, that Hoovervilles never existed and that Herbert Hoover personally integrated the armed forces.  Since there are no books/magazine/newspaper articles to prove this, clearly, the supporters of FDR destroyed all proof and photos and we are all lemmings buying into it.  But even though he "knows" that all the evidence was suppressed, he still wants us to find the evidence.

His proof that everything was sunshine and lollipops?  Herbert Hoover's speeches.  We pointed out that EVERY president's state of the union speech is sunshine and lollipops and unicorns vomiting rainbows.  He still won't budge.

So...we are expected to find proof of his theories that, according to him, has been suppressed to hide the truth that the Depression never happened and that Hoovervilles were staged to make the other side look bad.

You couldn't make this stuff up if you sat and thought for two weeks.

I have a book of statistics printed by the Department of Commerce in 1930.  It's so dense with charts and whatnot that it is pretty much incomprehensible.  Think studying that would keep him out of trouble for a while?   ;)

Excellent idea!

False information put out as part of the gummint coverup.

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Yarnspinner

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Seriously, guys, you all drank the FDR Koolaid...NONE of it ever happened.