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Author Topic: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)  (Read 1445062 times)

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Outdoor Girl

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...Then they asked my 10 yo cousin if she was on an errand for her parents or Nanna. Michelle told them she had just walked over with her cousin and nodded at me. The manager asked me why hadn't I told her I was Nanna's granddaughter that was completely different, I wasn't a stranger. They cashed my checks with no problem then. I think they were suspicious at first because they really don't get tourists in town except may the small museum, when the church advertises a lobster boil, and maybe stopping for gas or at Tom Hortons. Most tourists just speed down main street and never stop.

Ummmm...  kherbert05? It's Tim Horton's.  We get a little crazy about our Timmy's up here.  ;D
I know better. There is a Tom character on the TV show I'm watching. Sorry.

No worries.  I thought it was kind of funny, actually.  I skimmed over it the first time then went, 'Wait a minute...'  :D
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

Twik

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The whole thing is utterly surreal...like he's one melting clock short a Dali painting.

Now there is a simile worth stealing!
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Yarnspinner

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This week is not closing fast enough and I still have one more day to go.

Dear Patron:

While we appreciate that you probably have several issues of which we are not really cognizant, there comes a point where we can no longer handle all the serious glory that is you. 

You have been coming here for the last three years.  You have had no trouble whatsoever creating your own Facebook account, you play Farmville without trouble and are able to find movies to watch on youtube by typing into that little rectangle on the top of the page.

But now, apparently, your caseworker told you you had to find a job and that you should look for jobs online. Suddenly, you are a computer newbie, have no idea how to type, let alone use a mouse.    You can't figure out how to access the email address you used to create your Facebook account.  In fact, all seven of us have helped you--at least twice each--to create new email accounts and you immediately lose the information for passwords and how to type in your name.  (Bonus points because, although you have so many new accounts, you can only remember to bring the information about your FIRST account that you created incorrectly (there is no such email address as @xyzYahoo.com) and cannot access no matter how hard you try.

You get more points for claiming that we are responsible for all your accounts being deactivated and shut down.  And for not being able to understand ANYTHING the warning say.  When my boss said that there was nothing more we could do for you because you refused to remember exactly how your password was typed out, he actually meant there is nothing more we can do for you if you refuse to follow protocol.  Calling us mean and nasty doesn't make us have the warm fuzzies for you, either.  After having to spend two and three hours a day with you, you would be a little on the rude side, too.

Bring in a friend to help you, or a savvy thirteen year old or your mother...we don't care, but we cannot help you anymore.

P.S. No, you cannot "just" transfer your yahoo account to gmail.  It doesn't work that way.
« Last Edit: June 27, 2014, 02:49:44 PM by Yarnspinner »

violinp

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Dearest, darlingest (not really) Patron yesterday:

I realize that you really, really wanted to see Maleficent in 3D. However, we no longer have it in 3D format. Therefore, you can't see it in 3D. We still have it in - oh, you're really angry at us? Because...why? Maleficent has been in theaters for almost a full month. That's four weeks in which you could have chosen to see the movie in 3D, and yet you think we're horrible people for finally having to drop it, because several new movies have come out in that time and we need to make room.

Oh, now, after berating my co - worker, you want to berate my new manager too? Great. Just great. Fortunately, she didn't tolerate your ire and just gave you re - admit passes and told you to have a nice day.
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


Jocelyn

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Dearest, darlingest (not really) Patron yesterday:

I realize that you really, really wanted to see Maleficent in 3D. However, we no longer have it in 3D format. Therefore, you can't see it in 3D. We still have it in - oh, you're really angry at us? Because...why? Maleficent has been in theaters for almost a full month. That's four weeks in which you could have chosen to see the movie in 3D, and yet you think we're horrible people for finally having to drop it, because several new movies have come out in that time and we need to make room.

Oh, now, after berating my co - worker, you want to berate my new manager too? Great. Just great. Fortunately, she didn't tolerate your ire and just gave you re - admit passes and told you to have a nice day.

I attend a knitting group at the local library, as do several of the librarians. As we were leaving last Tuesday, the librarian at the front desk grabbed her colleagues to ask about the availability of Maleficient on DVD for checkout. Apparently the caller was not willing to accept that libraries don't get copies of current first-run movies, and that they have to wait til the DVD goes on sale...

MissRose

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This guy called into my department and complained about the wait time.  I apologized and he then said you need to hire more people.  I wish I could have said, tell me something I don't know and a lowly agent has control over hiring decisions .. NOT !

Yarnspinner

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Dearest, darlingest (not really) Patron yesterday:

I realize that you really, really wanted to see Maleficent in 3D. However, we no longer have it in 3D format. Therefore, you can't see it in 3D. We still have it in - oh, you're really angry at us? Because...why? Maleficent has been in theaters for almost a full month. That's four weeks in which you could have chosen to see the movie in 3D, and yet you think we're horrible people for finally having to drop it, because several new movies have come out in that time and we need to make room.

Oh, now, after berating my co - worker, you want to berate my new manager too? Great. Just great. Fortunately, she didn't tolerate your ire and just gave you re - admit passes and told you to have a nice day.

I attend a knitting group at the local library, as do several of the librarians. As we were leaving last Tuesday, the librarian at the front desk grabbed her colleagues to ask about the availability of Maleficient on DVD for checkout. Apparently the caller was not willing to accept that libraries don't get copies of current first-run movies, and that they have to wait til the DVD goes on sale...

Jocelyn, if librarians had a dime for every movie patrons request while said movie is still in theaters (or not even out yet--one patron has been hounding me since 2012 for "Finding Dory" a movie not scheduled to come out until 2015)  we could build our own libraries and run them as we saw fit.   

Which reminds me of a patron who called and wanted to know if we had a book by Thomas Clancy.  The title he gave me was unfamiliar and I could not find it in our catalog or on Amazon or even googling Clancy's complete works.  Fifteen minutes later, the patron finally says "Well, he was talking about it this morning on [radio show whose name I have forgotten] and how he is through outlining it and is getting ready to write it."

"So you think we have a book that is still, primarily, in the author's HEAD?" 

"Well, it was worth a try."

I shake my head in perplexity.....

violinp

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Dearest, darlingest (not really) Patron yesterday:

I realize that you really, really wanted to see Maleficent in 3D. However, we no longer have it in 3D format. Therefore, you can't see it in 3D. We still have it in - oh, you're really angry at us? Because...why? Maleficent has been in theaters for almost a full month. That's four weeks in which you could have chosen to see the movie in 3D, and yet you think we're horrible people for finally having to drop it, because several new movies have come out in that time and we need to make room.

Oh, now, after berating my co - worker, you want to berate my new manager too? Great. Just great. Fortunately, she didn't tolerate your ire and just gave you re - admit passes and told you to have a nice day.

I attend a knitting group at the local library, as do several of the librarians. As we were leaving last Tuesday, the librarian at the front desk grabbed her colleagues to ask about the availability of Maleficient on DVD for checkout. Apparently the caller was not willing to accept that libraries don't get copies of current first-run movies, and that they have to wait til the DVD goes on sale...

Jocelyn, if librarians had a dime for every movie patrons request while said movie is still in theaters (or not even out yet--one patron has been hounding me since 2012 for "Finding Dory" a movie not scheduled to come out until 2015)  we could build our own libraries and run them as we saw fit.   

Which reminds me of a patron who called and wanted to know if we had a book by Thomas Clancy.  The title he gave me was unfamiliar and I could not find it in our catalog or on Amazon or even googling Clancy's complete works.  Fifteen minutes later, the patron finally says "Well, he was talking about it this morning on [radio show whose name I have forgotten] and how he is through outlining it and is getting ready to write it."

"So you think we have a book that is still, primarily, in the author's HEAD?" 

"Well, it was worth a try."

I shake my head in perplexity.....

Okay, you win. Sheesh, that's crazy.
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


blueyzca01

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^there's a little voice in my head telling me that Yarnspinner really doesn't want to win.  ;)
No one ever says, "Why me?!?!" when something good happens.

Tsaiko

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3474 on: September 29, 2014, 07:31:19 PM »
I doing GIS (mapping and databases) for a branch of the government. A few years ago, we were doing analysis at several different locations. This involved gathering a lot of data, making sure it was clean and everything was filled out that was supposed to be filled out, and then running it through a program that did a specialized series of analyses on it. The output was a bunch of reports  with statistics, maps, breakdowns of area, etc. This was all automatically generated and standardized, so customization was not an option.

Some of the data we dealt with was sensitive in nature. It wasn't exactly classified, but it was definitely not stuff you wanted made public. An example (though not relevant to what we were doing) would be the location of some sort of archaeological site. Put that on a map, and you'd have some idiot with a shovel going where he definitely shouldn't be going to try and dig it up. There had been problems with this exact thing happening, even though we did not send maps anywhere but back to authorized people at the locations. Because of this, we had procedures in place on how to deal with sensitive data and worked with each location on what they did/did not want showing up in maps/used in the analysis.

I was at one location gathering data and speaking with this guy about what he did/did not want on the maps when it came to sensitive data. I swear this was the conversation:

Guy: We want everything included in the analysis so we can have the maps.
Me: I can do that. All the maps come back to you though and you can decide whether and how to distribute them.
Guy: No, we don't want this showing up on the maps. People won't be able to interpret it correctly.
Me: Okay, then you're options are A, B, and C.
Guy: I don't like those options. I want you to put it in the analysis and in the maps, just not where others can see.
Me: All the maps come back to you. So you decide who will see them. Or are you asking me to make two sets of maps: one set with the sensitive data or one set without?
Guy *speaking like I'm dumb*: No. I want you to put it in the analysis and make one set of maps where only I can see the data, but others can't.
Me: Wait. Are you asking me to make maps where if you look at them you see all the sensitive data but if other people look at them, the maps won't have it on them?
Guy: Exactly!
Me: You do realize we are talking about paper maps, right? Anyone who looks at the paper maps will be able to see what is on them. I can include the data, but everyone will see it. Or I can leave it out, and it won't show up at all. I can't make it appear on the maps just for you.
Guy: Why not?

I seriously don't know where people get the idea that this is possible.

StarDrifter

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3475 on: September 29, 2014, 07:41:26 PM »
Maybe he thought you could password-protect them, like the Marauders' Map?
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good..."
... it might frighten them.
Victoria,

SDG31000

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3476 on: September 30, 2014, 04:00:43 AM »
I volunteer at a local charity shop and we get strange requests all the time, but one lady last week took the biscuit.

Note that we only sell what people donate to us, we don't buy in stock at all.

Lady- I like these shoes, but the size is too small.
Me- I'm afraid that is the only size we have.
Lady- I like these shoes, but the size is too small
Me- We only have that size, we only have what is donated to us and that is what we were given.
Lady- I want these shoes, but they are too small. Go and see if you have any bigger ones.
Me- We don't have any bigger ones, we only have those ones.......*repeat about 5 more times*

In the end I think she got bored and gave up, but nothing I said could get across the fact that we only had the pair of shoes she was holding and there was no way I could get them in a bigger size.

Cherry91

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3477 on: September 30, 2014, 04:20:45 AM »
I volunteer at a local charity shop and we get strange requests all the time, but one lady last week took the biscuit.

Note that we only sell what people donate to us, we don't buy in stock at all.

Lady- I like these shoes, but the size is too small.
Me- I'm afraid that is the only size we have.
Lady- I like these shoes, but the size is too small
Me- We only have that size, we only have what is donated to us and that is what we were given.
Lady- I want these shoes, but they are too small. Go and see if you have any bigger ones.
Me- We don't have any bigger ones, we only have those ones.......*repeat about 5 more times*

In the end I think she got bored and gave up, but nothing I said could get across the fact that we only had the pair of shoes she was holding and there was no way I could get them in a bigger size.

She clearly thought that if she wore you down, you would go to that magical land known as "the back" and conjure up a fitting pair of shoes...
All will be well, and all manner of things will be well.

camlan

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3478 on: September 30, 2014, 07:51:19 AM »
I volunteer at a local charity shop and we get strange requests all the time, but one lady last week took the biscuit.

Note that we only sell what people donate to us, we don't buy in stock at all.

Lady- I like these shoes, but the size is too small.
Me- I'm afraid that is the only size we have.
Lady- I like these shoes, but the size is too small
Me- We only have that size, we only have what is donated to us and that is what we were given.
Lady- I want these shoes, but they are too small. Go and see if you have any bigger ones.
Me- We don't have any bigger ones, we only have those ones.......*repeat about 5 more times*

In the end I think she got bored and gave up, but nothing I said could get across the fact that we only had the pair of shoes she was holding and there was no way I could get them in a bigger size.

Related to that, this weekend I was in line to check out at a major US department store that has high prices in general, but really good deals can be found on the clearance racks. But, you know, the merchandise is *clearance*, which means the store is clearing it out.

The woman in front of me did not understand this.

Customer: I like this shirt, but I want it in green. I saw green shirts on the rack, but not in my size.

Sales clerk: Let me check inventory. Oh, I see on the tag that this is clearance. This may be the only color we have in this size. But let me check . . . . No, sorry, we don't have this size in green. It is available at Store X and Store Y (both in cities within a 40 minute drive of where we were).

Customer: There is no way I can get there. I need this shirt in green. Go check out back!

Sales Clerk: I'm sorry, but we don't have any more green shirts in this size in the store. We do have the blue and the pink, though. Or I can call one of the other stores and have them hold a green shirt in your size for you.

Customer [speaking very slowly, as if to a child who cannot comprehend, and in a very angry tone]: I want this shirt in this size in green. What can't you understand about that?

Sales Clerk: I'm sorry, we just don't have that shirt in that size in green anymore. It's a clearance item, which means that we have reduced the price to sell it to make way for new stock. You can choose another color, I can have another store hold a green shirt for you, or you can order the shirt on-line, but there will be a $10 delivery fee.

Customer: I shouldn't have to pay for delivery when you should just have the shirt in the store!

At this point, another sales person happened by, figured out something was wrong, and took over the difficult customer. As my stuff was being rung up, I could hear them going through exactly the same exchanges. The customer ended up snapping out something pretty rude to the second sales person and then stomping out of the building.

I'm not sure what the customer expected the poor sales clerk to do--hop in her car and drive to the nearest branch of the chain that had the shirt, buy it for her and drive back?
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


otterwoman

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #3479 on: September 30, 2014, 08:06:06 AM »

Related to that, this weekend I was in line to check out at a major US department store that has high prices in general, but really good deals can be found on the clearance racks. But, you know, the merchandise is *clearance*, which means the store is clearing it out.

The woman in front of me did not understand this.

Customer: I like this shirt, but I want it in green. I saw green shirts on the rack, but not in my size.

Sales clerk: Let me check inventory. Oh, I see on the tag that this is clearance. This may be the only color we have in this size. But let me check . . . . No, sorry, we don't have this size in green. It is available at Store X and Store Y (both in cities within a 40 minute drive of where we were).

Customer: There is no way I can get there. I need this shirt in green. Go check out back!

Sales Clerk: I'm sorry, but we don't have any more green shirts in this size in the store. We do have the blue and the pink, though. Or I can call one of the other stores and have them hold a green shirt in your size for you.

Customer [speaking very slowly, as if to a child who cannot comprehend, and in a very angry tone]: I want this shirt in this size in green. What can't you understand about that?

Sales Clerk: I'm sorry, we just don't have that shirt in that size in green anymore. It's a clearance item, which means that we have reduced the price to sell it to make way for new stock. You can choose another color, I can have another store hold a green shirt for you, or you can order the shirt on-line, but there will be a $10 delivery fee.

Customer: I shouldn't have to pay for delivery when you should just have the shirt in the store!

At this point, another sales person happened by, figured out something was wrong, and took over the difficult customer. As my stuff was being rung up, I could hear them going through exactly the same exchanges. The customer ended up snapping out something pretty rude to the second sales person and then stomping out of the building.

I'm not sure what the customer expected the poor sales clerk to do--hop in her car and drive to the nearest branch of the chain that had the shirt, buy it for her and drive back?

Well, yes. I used to do that all the time for my customers. It was expected by upper management that we would transfer stock between stores when needed. For a large enough sale, I would drive to the other store and bring back the items for customers the same day. For a small item, I'd have it shipped over within a few days.