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  • January 17, 2018, 07:27:49 AM

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Author Topic: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)  (Read 1552172 times)

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Sirius

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #4545 on: December 08, 2017, 04:34:42 PM »
"Me: Uh, nope.  It's no longer in print.  You might be able to find it at a used bookstore like--
Girl: What do you mean, it's not in print?
Me: It means the publisher is no longer printing the book.
Girl: Well, can't you ask them to, you know, make one for me?
Me: . . .

Honestly, what do you say?"

I would give her the publisher's name and address. See how far she gets with that....

This was like the time a doctor called our records section wanting a copy of the patient's previous operation report.  Said report had been sent to the archives, which is a huge record depository in St. Louis, Missouri.  We were in California.  When this was explained to the doctor, she said, "Can't they just find this person's records and fax me a copy of the operation report?"  No, because they'd have to find it first, and since this record depository held medical records for millions of people from all the military bases, including ones that no longer existed, it wasn't just a matter of finding a particular pallet holding a particular box holding a particular patient's old medical records.  "But the patient is on the table!"  Had the doctor planned better we could have requested the records from St. Louis, and getting them might have taken a couple of months.  But suddenly deciding that a copy of a particular operation report was needed when the patient was already on the table...I decided at that point that the surgeon in question was never going to get a chance to operate on me.

LadyDyani

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  • So it goes. -Kurt Vonnegut
Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #4546 on: December 13, 2017, 08:43:30 AM »
"Me: Uh, nope.  It's no longer in print.  You might be able to find it at a used bookstore like--
Girl: What do you mean, it's not in print?
Me: It means the publisher is no longer printing the book.
Girl: Well, can't you ask them to, you know, make one for me?
Me: . . .

Honestly, what do you say?"

I would give her the publisher's name and address. See how far she gets with that....

This was like the time a doctor called our records section wanting a copy of the patient's previous operation report.  Said report had been sent to the archives, which is a huge record depository in St. Louis, Missouri.  We were in California.  When this was explained to the doctor, she said, "Can't they just find this person's records and fax me a copy of the operation report?"  No, because they'd have to find it first, and since this record depository held medical records for millions of people from all the military bases, including ones that no longer existed, it wasn't just a matter of finding a particular pallet holding a particular box holding a particular patient's old medical records.  "But the patient is on the table!"  Had the doctor planned better we could have requested the records from St. Louis, and getting them might have taken a couple of months.  But suddenly deciding that a copy of a particular operation report was needed when the patient was already on the table...I decided at that point that the surgeon in question was never going to get a chance to operate on me.

And that's why my husband keeps a copy of his medical file. Anything the military has a copy of? He has a copy too.
English doesn't borrow from other languages, it follows them down dark alleys and beats them up and searches their pockets for loose grammar.

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #4547 on: December 17, 2017, 05:44:34 PM »
Before I retired from the DMV, I had a couple where the man needed to renew his medical marijuana license.  They insisted they had last done it at the DMV.  At first, I was trying to be helpful, suggesting that perhaps it was at Community Health office not too far away.  I offered to look it up on the internet.  But the woman was insistent: the DMV did it, and I was too incompetent/stupid to know better.  So she got a flat response from me: "No, you did not get it here." 

She is busy calling me all kinds of stupid, to which I would reply, "Not here.  Never here."  The man is looking around, and you could just see the light of realization dawn in his eyes.  It wasn't here that they had done it.  He starts plucking at her sleeve, muttering, trying to get her to leave.  Her final shot was that they were going to the next closest DMV branch to get it and then she was coming back to wave it in my face.

They never returned, but I'm sure that is no surprise to anyone on this thread.
I have enough lithium in my medicine cabinet to power three cars across a sizeable desert.  Which makes me officially...Three Cars Crazy

XRogue

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #4548 on: December 18, 2017, 08:35:56 AM »
Got a caller who was insistent that the credit bureau I work for (not the one that had the data breach) had allowed him to be hacked because he had no credit accounts that were reporting for him.

I check his report, all the accounts that he had with us were in dispute and not reporting at this time (he'd filed the disputes, not reporting during them is normal and he was told it would happen when they were filed).

Solution to this is wait for disputes to finalize, and/or call other creditors and ask they report to us in the meantime if he wants.  Caller is informed of this and insists he will not do so, that we have allowed him to be breached as well, and must research why the accounts are not reporting, and also call his other creditors and ask them to report for him, as he is paying for a membership with us (true) and this is part of our job and is included with his membership (not the case, credit bureaus only furnish data and provide scores. Requesting his creditors report to us must be done by him, as the account holder is the only one with legal standing to do so.)

I explain this to him, and reiterate what the membership does (online reports and scores) when he asks, "Well what am I *paying* you people for then?!?"

Customer then states that since I am stupid and ignorant, he wants a manager to do this research and request for creditors to report for him and call him back about it, since he is a paying customer. I reply that this is not possible either, but that if he would like I can connect him with a manager so they can explain this to him also. (in the hope that he will actually believe them)

Customer refuses to speak to a manager, says I should make the request for him (expressed as "just do your *redacted* job!"). I reiterate, that is not what we do here, my job is helping you understand your membership and credit report, which I am doing, and that I can make the request for him, but it would not then be honored anyway, as we cannot and do not provide such services (legal reasons etc.) and besides, Customer is the only one with standing to make the request of his creditors anyway. They wouldn't comply with us to start with.

Cue customer hanging up after complaining that we are refusing to help a paying customer and that he is going to file a lawsuit, that he will make sure I personally am cited in it as well, with more bad language.

chi2kcldy

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #4549 on: December 19, 2017, 03:32:48 PM »
Customer is upset because we will not exchange her car that she financed with us for a different color. The color of the car is yellow. She has had the car for 18 months and is now tired of the color. She wants to exchange the car for a different color.

We explain she can trade in the car but she has to go to a dealership and discuss that with their staff. She does not want to trade in the vehicle due to depreciation. She wants us to take back the yellow car and then finance her for a black or silver car.

I politely explain this is not how it works. She tells me “I am going to do this because the customer is always right” and then hangs up.

andi

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #4550 on: December 19, 2017, 08:38:15 PM »
Customer is upset because we will not exchange her car that she financed with us for a different color. The color of the car is yellow. She has had the car for 18 months and is now tired of the color. She wants to exchange the car for a different color.

We explain she can trade in the car but she has to go to a dealership and discuss that with their staff. She does not want to trade in the vehicle due to depreciation. She wants us to take back the yellow car and then finance her for a black or silver car.

I politely explain this is not how it works. She tells me “I am going to do this because the customer is always right” and then hangs up.

Seriously. I think my head just exploded.
Wow

XRogue

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #4551 on: December 19, 2017, 08:40:16 PM »
Customer is upset because we will not exchange her car that she financed with us for a different color. The color of the car is yellow. She has had the car for 18 months and is now tired of the color. She wants to exchange the car for a different color.

We explain she can trade in the car but she has to go to a dealership and discuss that with their staff. She does not want to trade in the vehicle due to depreciation. She wants us to take back the yellow car and then finance her for a black or silver car.

I politely explain this is not how it works. She tells me “I am going to do this because the customer is always right” and then hangs up.

Holy cannoli!  :o

gingerzing

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #4552 on: December 20, 2017, 07:35:59 AM »
Customer is upset because we will not exchange her car that she financed with us for a different color. The color of the car is yellow. She has had the car for 18 months and is now tired of the color. She wants to exchange the car for a different color.

We explain she can trade in the car but she has to go to a dealership and discuss that with their staff. She does not want to trade in the vehicle due to depreciation. She wants us to take back the yellow car and then finance her for a black or silver car.

I politely explain this is not how it works. She tells me “I am going to do this because the customer is always right” and then hangs up.

To slightly paraphrase the Princess Bride quote-
You keep using that phrase.  I do not think it means what you think it means.

(Or from the sword fight on the Cliffs of Insanity)
"Get use to disappointment."

Yarnspinner

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #4553 on: December 20, 2017, 12:15:06 PM »
So what has a patron or a customer asked YOU for that you simply could not provide?

Holy cow - we just missed the chance to wish this thread a happy ninth birthday!

My Little Thread is growing up!

Yarnspinner

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #4554 on: December 20, 2017, 04:57:55 PM »
This falls under the "yes, it is a fixable problem"  but "I can only do so much to get it fixed."

Because of security issues, we've had all sorts of new lights installed, in and out.  The plus is that we can SEE again as the new lights are much brighter. 

The bad:  the set of the security lights which basically look right into the neighboring condominium windows.  Not only do they look into the condo windows, they blink on and off every thirty seconds.  I can see how this could get annoying very quickly. 

And I know all this because one of the condo residents comes in every single day to tell me he is concerned about our electric bill and what it must be due to the unusual blinking. 

"It's not bothering ME," he keeps saying "but you should be aware of it.  There's definitely something wrong."

Personally, I think it IS bothering him and I keep assuring him I am doing all that I can.  And all that I can is to notify our head of maintenance, the director and the assistant director.  Head of Maintenance is the one who has to contact the electricians who installed the lights (and he is very closed mouth about their information).  The directors are contacted to make sure Head of Maintenance takes care of it.

That's it.  That's all I can do.  And I just know the man will be back tomorrow to tell me about the lights again. 

And I will have to tell him that I have done due diligence and can go no further without ticking off the various labor union factions. 

I'm thinking of hiring a kid with a pea shooter to help me out here.

MissRose

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So what has a patron or a customer asked YOU for that you simply could not provide?

Holy cow - we just missed the chance to wish this thread a happy ninth birthday!

My Little Thread is growing up!

Happy birthday to this post!

Aleko

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Years ago I worked for a British national archaeological organisation. It had a lot of different functions, but our major interface with the general public was a children's archaeological club with a magazine, and a monthly newsletter which contained general archaeological news but also carried notices of upcoming excavations that were looking for volunteer diggers. So we were pretty much the go-to people for anyone wanting to get involved in British archaeology to get help and advice.

Our remit was strictly for British archaeology, but naturally we quite often got enquiries from people wanting to go as volunteers on digs abroad, and we pointed them in the right direction as best we could. But of course many were keen to dig in Greece and Egypt, and I had to explain to those people that there were precisely zero opportunities for unskilled volunteer diggers in those two countries since their governments, not unreasonably, required foreign archaeological expeditions to hire their unskilled labour locally. Most people accepted this, but I had one or two who cried indignantly "But it's my DREAM to dig in Egypt!", and simply refuse to accept that the Egyptian government didn't give two hoots for their dream, and if they wanted to work on an excavation in the Valley of the Kings they would have to get themselves a degree in Egyptology and qualify themselves to be employed as a site supervisor or in some other skilled capacity.

It's the downside of all the "Follow your dream!" philosophy; some people take from it the conviction that just because they want it so badly, it has to exist.