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Author Topic: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)  (Read 1512983 times)

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RooRoo

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1560 on: November 03, 2009, 10:29:47 AM »
Despairingly, I told my flight instructor "I'll never be as good as you!"

He said, "Of course not."

After my shocked reaction, he said, "You have 100 hours. I have 6000. By the time you have 6000 hours, I'll have 12,000." That really helped me relax, and I stopped trying to be perfect. Instead I worked on being better than last time. "Progress, not perfection" is my motto now.

I used the same format on a despairing student in one of my dog training classes. She got it, too. That moment of shock really gets their attention!

Ruthie
For in the fatness of these pursy times
Virtue itself of vice must pardon beg,
Yea, curb and woo for leave to do him good.
     Hamlet, Act 3, scene 4, lines 144-146
       (Pursy: wheezing)

GirlyJock

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1561 on: November 03, 2009, 04:56:19 PM »
Now that I'm no longer working as a personal trainer, I'll post some stories.

A woman came in for a free fitness consultation. She admitted to knowing next to nothing about exercise, but didn't want to pay for me to put together a program for her, and instead wanted to spend the entire hour getting as much information out of me as possible, and not taking the fitness tests, which would be used to as documentation that she had her consultation. So I got her to take the tests, as that's what I was told to do (although I didn't get paid to do the consultations). It took about 15 minutes. Now, I have no problem with people wanting to design their own program. I don't do well with people making me feel sweaty and pukey and exhausted without telling me exactly why they're doing so, so I rarely use a trainer (and when I do, it's because I'm learning some Olympic powerlifting technique).

The next 45 minutes were her asking me which exercises were "cardiovascular". The Bicep Curl machine? The free weights? It literally took me 45 minutes for me to explain that only the treadmills, the rower that makes the whooshy noise (not the one with the weights), the bikes, and the elliptical trainers would provide a traditional cardiovascular workout. She had no idea what the point was if something wasn't "cardiovascular" (I felt like saying "I don't think that word means what you think it means"). And she wanted me to provide her the basics to design her own program, without her spending any time or money on it (as she headed out for another appointment, I suggested she check out "exercise for dummies" or another introduction to fitness book).

JonGirl

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1562 on: November 03, 2009, 07:47:53 PM »
Someone told me this story today:

Woman goes through drive through. She asks for a bottle of Mt. Franklin, but 'the one with the blue lid, please.' Person tells customer that they only have bottles with the pink lid. Woman says 'Yes, you do!' Employee reiterates that they don't. Woman gets all huffy and cries 'But I can see you have them!' Employee asks where. Woman points and cries 'Over there!'

Woman is pointing at employee fridge, where employees stock their own water bottles and re-use them (sometimes bought from outside which explains the blue lids).

Employee explains this to woman and asks if she would like the Mt. Franklin with the pink lid. Woman cried 'I can't give that to my child! He's a boy!' and drives off without purchasing anything.

But don't those pink lids mean the sales go to a breast cancer charity?
Stewart/Colbert '16

Azrail

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1563 on: November 03, 2009, 08:06:37 PM »
Someone told me this story today:

Woman goes through drive through. She asks for a bottle of Mt. Franklin, but 'the one with the blue lid, please.' Person tells customer that they only have bottles with the pink lid. Woman says 'Yes, you do!' Employee reiterates that they don't. Woman gets all huffy and cries 'But I can see you have them!' Employee asks where. Woman points and cries 'Over there!'

Woman is pointing at employee fridge, where employees stock their own water bottles and re-use them (sometimes bought from outside which explains the blue lids).

Employee explains this to woman and asks if she would like the Mt. Franklin with the pink lid. Woman cried 'I can't give that to my child! He's a boy!' and drives off without purchasing anything.

But don't those pink lids mean the sales go to a breast cancer charity?

Yes! Maybe in her eyes, that made it worse. She wanted to give the water to her boy after all!  ;)
Wherever you are... that's where you happen to have gone.

camlan

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1564 on: November 04, 2009, 07:44:11 AM »
Someone told me this story today:

Woman goes through drive through. She asks for a bottle of Mt. Franklin, but 'the one with the blue lid, please.' Person tells customer that they only have bottles with the pink lid. Woman says 'Yes, you do!' Employee reiterates that they don't. Woman gets all huffy and cries 'But I can see you have them!' Employee asks where. Woman points and cries 'Over there!'

Woman is pointing at employee fridge, where employees stock their own water bottles and re-use them (sometimes bought from outside which explains the blue lids).

Employee explains this to woman and asks if she would like the Mt. Franklin with the pink lid. Woman cried 'I can't give that to my child! He's a boy!' and drives off without purchasing anything.

But don't those pink lids mean the sales go to a breast cancer charity?

Yes! Maybe in her eyes, that made it worse. She wanted to give the water to her boy after all!  ;)

Men can get breast cancer, too.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea of denying your son water because of the color of the bottle cap.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


Corbin

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1565 on: November 04, 2009, 07:58:07 AM »
Someone told me this story today:

Woman goes through drive through. She asks for a bottle of Mt. Franklin, but 'the one with the blue lid, please.' Person tells customer that they only have bottles with the pink lid. Woman says 'Yes, you do!' Employee reiterates that they don't. Woman gets all huffy and cries 'But I can see you have them!' Employee asks where. Woman points and cries 'Over there!'

Woman is pointing at employee fridge, where employees stock their own water bottles and re-use them (sometimes bought from outside which explains the blue lids).

Employee explains this to woman and asks if she would like the Mt. Franklin with the pink lid. Woman cried 'I can't give that to my child! He's a boy!' and drives off without purchasing anything.

But don't those pink lids mean the sales go to a breast cancer charity?

Yes! Maybe in her eyes, that made it worse. She wanted to give the water to her boy after all!  ;)

Men can get breast cancer, too.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea of denying your son water because of the color of the bottle cap.

Don't you know that exposing a boy to the color pink will make him into a girl? He will start to ovulate and everything! True story!  >:D
"If someone else posted this, I would be convinced they were making it up..."

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1566 on: November 04, 2009, 08:56:45 AM »
I haven't had too many impossible requests, but there are a few that stick out in my mind.

<background> So I work at a gym at the front desk and have been since I was in high school. If you're in town for a day or so and just want a one day workout, it costs $10. We also don't have a cash register; all cash we get goes into a locked safe in the back (I can't open it; there's a slot in the top where you can shove money in, but since I don't have the key, I can't get anything out). Because of this, we have no way of giving change if we receive cash. I have no idea why we don't have a cash register. We've needed one for years and years and we still don't seem to be any closer to getting one. </background>

So a few years ago, when I was in high school, there was this guy who would always come in and pay for a one-day workout on Sunday when I worked. And every single week he would try to pay with a $100 bill. The first time it happened was understandable since there's no way he would've known. I told him we didn't have a cash register and couldn't give change but he could try getting change from the business next door. He did, so he paid and worked out. But this kept happening, about 5 or 6 times. And every time I would explain to him that we couldn't give change. He'd go get change from another business, pay, and work out. Only to come in with a $100 bill the next week. *headdesk*

This next one happened to my mom, who worked the same position I did at my job on different days. Evidently she got a call from somebody wanting to know the racial makeup of the gym's members. :o She said that the gym didn't have that information and the guy hung up. She thinks it might've been a prank, but you never know...

I wonder if he was trying to pass counterfeit money. 

MasterofSquirrels

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1567 on: November 04, 2009, 11:00:41 AM »
i work part time in retail at a national shoe store...

Last week we had a unique sale... for thursday and friday only everything was half off.. then on Saturday our normal sale was starting. so.. Friday night, an hour prior to the close of the store, the girl i was working with and I started to put up the sale signs. we cannot do this on Saturday morning, as all signs MUST be up prior to the start of the sale..

often we will get people in who will insist on getting the sale offer, even though it starts the next day.. and we allow this.. the signs are up.. ok. we explain that the sale doesn't start for another day, but if they persist, they get the sale.

a "lady" came in with her children (teenagers) to take advantage of unique sale.. she was there at 6:30.. saw us putting up signs and decided she should get regular sale too. we said no. she insisted. we said no.

if we didn't have unique sale, fine. we told her that she could choose which sale she wanted, but she couldn't combine them. she was upset. still made her purchase. grumbling the entire time. the wierd thing is, the unique sale was so much better than our usual one. she saved tons of money! but she wanted to combine the sale.. and we don't allow that.

WHATSNEW

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1568 on: November 04, 2009, 11:17:51 AM »
i work part time in retail at a national shoe store...

Last week we had a unique sale... for thursday and friday only everything was half off.. then on Saturday our normal sale was starting. so.. Friday night, an hour prior to the close of the store, the girl i was working with and I started to put up the sale signs. we cannot do this on Saturday morning, as all signs MUST be up prior to the start of the sale..

often we will get people in who will insist on getting the sale offer, even though it starts the next day.. and we allow this.. the signs are up.. ok. we explain that the sale doesn't start for another day, but if they persist, they get the sale.


a "lady" came in with her children (teenagers) to take advantage of unique sale.. she was there at 6:30.. saw us putting up signs and decided she should get regular sale too. we said no. she insisted. we said no.

if we didn't have unique sale, fine. we told her that she could choose which sale she wanted, but she couldn't combine them. she was upset. still made her purchase. grumbling the entire time. the wierd thing is, the unique sale was so much better than our usual one. she saved tons of money! but she wanted to combine the sale.. and we don't allow that.

Wouldn't it be easier if the signs had effective dates/days on them.

MasterofSquirrels

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1569 on: November 04, 2009, 11:46:57 AM »
Quote
Wouldn't it be easier if the signs had effective dates/days on them

i would imagine!  ;D but unfortunately.. it's up to people that make waaaay more money than me..  ;)

PeterM

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1570 on: November 04, 2009, 11:59:54 AM »
Quote
Wouldn't it be easier if the signs had effective dates/days on them

i would imagine!  ;D but unfortunately.. it's up to people that make waaaay more money than me..  ;)

It also might not make much difference. I've seen people argue that if the sign is up the sale is on, no matter what the dates say. I really doubt the woman in your example would've been any happier if you'd had a starting date on the new signs.

Xallanthia

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1571 on: November 04, 2009, 12:13:38 PM »
Quote
Wouldn't it be easier if the signs had effective dates/days on them

i would imagine!  ;D but unfortunately.. it's up to people that make waaaay more money than me..  ;)

It also might not make much difference. I've seen people argue that if the sign is up the sale is on, no matter what the dates say. I really doubt the woman in your example would've been any happier if you'd had a starting date on the new signs.

I agree.  I used to work at a party supply store and we once had a circular that was accidentally delivered too early, before its effective date (by about two days).  We just changed the prices without fighting; it was our mistake.  The customers wouldn't even have known, except that my boss kept having to come do my price changes (yeah, he gave me permission to do that after about an hour...).

ginlyn32

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1572 on: November 04, 2009, 02:21:26 PM »
i work part time in retail at a national shoe store...

Last week we had a unique sale... for thursday and friday only everything was half off.. then on Saturday our normal sale was starting. so.. Friday night, an hour prior to the close of the store, the girl i was working with and I started to put up the sale signs. we cannot do this on Saturday morning, as all signs MUST be up prior to the start of the sale..

often we will get people in who will insist on getting the sale offer, even though it starts the next day.. and we allow this.. the signs are up.. ok. we explain that the sale doesn't start for another day, but if they persist, they get the sale.

a "lady" came in with her children (teenagers) to take advantage of unique sale.. she was there at 6:30.. saw us putting up signs and decided she should get regular sale too. we said no. she insisted. we said no.

if we didn't have unique sale, fine. we told her that she could choose which sale she wanted, but she couldn't combine them. she was upset. still made her purchase. grumbling the entire time. the wierd thing is, the unique sale was so much better than our usual one. she saved tons of money! but she wanted to combine the sale.. and we don't allow that.

I used to work retail as well and had to do the signs for ads.

We used to turn them with the blank sign facing out, so no one could read it, that way when the sale started on Sunday, all the employees had to do was turn them around.

We did have a few people say that they should get the sale items early but we were in the clear since the signs had the sale dates on them.

The worst ever was on Thanks giving day when we had a 6 hour sale, 18 hour sale and 3 day sale. UGH! so we were constantly re-arranging signs and getting flack from people saying that the item was on sale. Not if it was a 6hr sale item or whatever. READ the sign!

ginlyn
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Azrail

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1573 on: November 04, 2009, 07:38:34 PM »

Men can get breast cancer, too.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea of denying your son water because of the color of the bottle cap.

I had no idea men could get it too. You learn something new everyday!

I agree. In my religion it is a sin to deny anyone water, so I don't get it either.
Wherever you are... that's where you happen to have gone.

Starchasm

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Re: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)
« Reply #1574 on: November 04, 2009, 07:52:47 PM »
Not a client, but I have an opposing counsel with a client who lives out in the boonies.  He wants us to find a doctor near her, who is willing to be paid what the law says we can pay. Oh, and she doesn't drive, but we can't provide transportation for her.  ???

I can't MOVE a doctor's office within walking distance!!!  Now if I could make a portkey or give her some flue powder....

Quote from: Azrail link=topic=46148.msg1610141#msg1610141 date=125738511

[quote author=camlan link=topic=46148.msg1609046#msg1609046 date=1257342251

Men can get breast cancer, too.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea of denying your son water because of the color of the bottle cap.

I had no idea men could get it too. You learn something new everyday!

[/quote]

My grandpa's priest died of breast cancer.  It's especially bad in men because they don't have as much breast tissue.  It metastasizes very quickly. :(