Author Topic: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)  (Read 609538 times)

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Miss March

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I went into a Lowe's over the weekend and asked for "Spirit Water." The clerk looked at me like I had two heads. "I was told I need to buy Spirit Water," I insisted. "He said it's like a paint thinner."

She showed me to the Mineral Spirits. Thank goodness she was able to decipher my idiocy. We shared a good laugh at my mistake, and I apologized.
He had no choice, he had told her, and then he left, choosing.-- George R.R. Martin

snowflake

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I went into a Lowe's over the weekend and asked for "Spirit Water." The clerk looked at me like I had two heads. "I was told I need to buy Spirit Water," I insisted. "He said it's like a paint thinner."

She showed me to the Mineral Spirits. Thank goodness she was able to decipher my idiocy. We shared a good laugh at my mistake, and I apologized.

I never minded the customers who sort of knew what they were asking and worked with me while I decoded.  It was the ones who assumed they were perfect and yelled while I tried to figure them out that got me.  Because they were always the ones who acted like I should have known all along when I FINALLY figured them out.  I worked at a flower shop once and had someone say, "The red ones - you know, the red ones!" while I was trying to show him a picture of every flower known to man.

At my job, some customer requests cannot be processed on weekends as the people that work certain things do not work weekends.  I just had a customer think just because we are open nearly all hours that certain people that process requests keep the same hours the support desk does.  He didn't like that answer at all, and said it was unacceptable (a word I want to ban from customers' mouth) when they are special snowflakes.  ::)

I also once worked for a 24 hour repair service.  I manned the phones all night, but the repairman was on call.  If there was a true emergency (and no, I wouldn't call him to fix the lawnmower at 3 am) I would have to send out a page to wake him up.  If the customer lived in the suburbs, it might take a couple hours for him to come.  I got mightily tired of the word "unacceptable." 

I finally got annoyed one night and (yes, I'd fire me for this if I caught me and I don't advocate this behavior) and told a woman that I was very sorry but the teleporter was broken so he'd have to drive to her address (which was sixty miles from anything I might add!)

BB-VA

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I finally got annoyed one night and (yes, I'd fire me for this if I caught me and I don't advocate this behavior) and told a woman that I was very sorry but the teleporter was broken so he'd have to drive to her address (which was sixty miles from anything I might add!)

Gee, wouldn't that look kinda bad for a repair service?  I mean, not fixing their own transporter?   >:D

I do wonder sometimes if people believe there is such a thing and a repair person, food, or whatever they desire can be delivered just by telling someone they want it.
"The Universe puts us in places where we can learn. They are never easy places, but they are right. Wherever we are, it's the right place and the right time. Pain that sometimes comes is part of the process of constantly being born."
- Delenn to Sheridan: "Babylon 5 - Distant Star"

NyaChan

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I finally got annoyed one night and (yes, I'd fire me for this if I caught me and I don't advocate this behavior) and told a woman that I was very sorry but the teleporter was broken so he'd have to drive to her address (which was sixty miles from anything I might add!)

Gee, wouldn't that look kinda bad for a repair service?  I mean, not fixing their own transporter?   >:D

I do wonder sometimes if people believe there is such a thing and a repair person, food, or whatever they desire can be delivered just by telling someone they want it.

Maybe someday...  ;D I'm still waiting on WonkaVision to come through, so I don't think they should hold their breath on that.
« Last Edit: April 11, 2012, 11:25:49 AM by NyaChan »

BB-VA

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I finally got annoyed one night and (yes, I'd fire me for this if I caught me and I don't advocate this behavior) and told a woman that I was very sorry but the teleporter was broken so he'd have to drive to her address (which was sixty miles from anything I might add!)

Gee, wouldn't that look kinda bad for a repair service?  I mean, not fixing their own transporter?   >:D

I do wonder sometimes if people believe there is such a thing and a repair person, food, or whatever they desire can be delivered just by telling someone they want it.

Maybe someday...  ;D I'm still waiting on WonkaVision to come through, so I don't they should hold their breath on that.

When I worked at a bank (this was about 20 years ago), it always amazed me that people seemed to think their check register was directly connected to the bank's computers. 

And then there were the folks who called in after a branch was robbed to find out if the robbers had gotten "their" money.  I wonder if they thought there was a special drawer in the vault with their name on it or something...
"The Universe puts us in places where we can learn. They are never easy places, but they are right. Wherever we are, it's the right place and the right time. Pain that sometimes comes is part of the process of constantly being born."
- Delenn to Sheridan: "Babylon 5 - Distant Star"

Elfmama

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I finally got annoyed one night and (yes, I'd fire me for this if I caught me and I don't advocate this behavior) and told a woman that I was very sorry but the teleporter was broken so he'd have to drive to her address (which was sixty miles from anything I might add!)

Gee, wouldn't that look kinda bad for a repair service?  I mean, not fixing their own transporter?   >:D

I do wonder sometimes if people believe there is such a thing and a repair person, food, or whatever they desire can be delivered just by telling someone they want it.

Maybe someday...  ;D I'm still waiting on WonkaVision to come through, so I don't they should hold their breath on that.

When I worked at a bank (this was about 20 years ago), it always amazed me that people seemed to think their check register was directly connected to the bank's computers. 

And then there were the folks who called in after a branch was robbed to find out if the robbers had gotten "their" money.  I wonder if they thought there was a special drawer in the vault with their name on it or something...
MIL was absolutely certain that there was.  She was very put out at the thought that a bank might lend out "her" money to other people! She also thought that whenever she wrote a check or paid with a credit card that the bank would pull out her signature card and compare the signatures on the check/card receipt.
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snowflake

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When I worked at a bank (this was about 20 years ago), it always amazed me that people seemed to think their check register was directly connected to the bank's computers. 

And then there were the folks who called in after a branch was robbed to find out if the robbers had gotten "their" money.  I wonder if they thought there was a special drawer in the vault with their name on it or something...


My friend's girlfriend (back before people used Quicken) would balance her checkbook by hand.  Then she would see how much money was on her bank statement and assume that she had made a math error since she wasn't good at math.  So she'd just cross out her total and put the bank's (much higher) total in it's place.

Of course she'd expect the bank to give her a credit when she would inevitably over-draw.  Remember, this was before it was common to track online or use software so she would mostly write checks.  So processing time was slooooowwwww.  So she would think her balance was hundreds of dollars higher than it really was.  She would expect the bank to just GIVE her money to cover the mistake.  I felt sorry for the poor teller that she would yell at over the phone.

ladyknight1

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Time to resurrect this awesome thread.

Student SH is attending a community college in our great state. SH applies for admission to my university, which is not affiliated with her community college. SH contacts me to help her with her admission. SH is very difficult to understand (English is not her first language, but I am usually the best at understanding anyone) on the phone, and I have to close my door and turn off my music to understand her. SH does not listen well, and talks over me when I try to help her. SH received a bachelor's degree in a foreign country. I have tried emailing her, but she won't email me back.

Me: After looking at your file, I see that you have not taken English Composition I & II in the US. You will not be admissable by the university unless you take those courses or the TOEFL (a test of English). Even after you take the TOEFL, you will have to take English Comp I & II before being admitted to your program.
SH: But I am a US citizen. Why do I have to take this test?
Me: The test has nothing to do with your citizenship. You can take the test, or take the two English Comp courses. It is your choice.

This same conversation repeats daily over two weeks. We still can't get it through to her that she can't start unless she takes those courses. She doesn't want to talk to the advisor at her school, or drive to one of our sites to speak with one of ours. I am at the end of my rope. We have discovered that she wants a different answer and will keep calling until she gets it.

snowflake

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Time to resurrect this awesome thread.

Student SH is attending a community college in our great state. SH applies for admission to my university, which is not affiliated with her community college. SH contacts me to help her with her admission. SH is very difficult to understand (English is not her first language, but I am usually the best at understanding anyone) on the phone, and I have to close my door and turn off my music to understand her. SH does not listen well, and talks over me when I try to help her. SH received a bachelor's degree in a foreign country. I have tried emailing her, but she won't email me back.

Me: After looking at your file, I see that you have not taken English Composition I & II in the US. You will not be admissable by the university unless you take those courses or the TOEFL (a test of English). Even after you take the TOEFL, you will have to take English Comp I & II before being admitted to your program.
SH: But I am a US citizen. Why do I have to take this test?
Me: The test has nothing to do with your citizenship. You can take the test, or take the two English Comp courses. It is your choice.

This same conversation repeats daily over two weeks. We still can't get it through to her that she can't start unless she takes those courses. She doesn't want to talk to the advisor at her school, or drive to one of our sites to speak with one of ours. I am at the end of my rope. We have discovered that she wants a different answer and will keep calling until she gets it.

Something similar happened to my friend.  (Keep in mind this happened over several months so I heard the story as it unraveled and my friend was trying to figure it out.)

She was working in a language department and got a call from a promising student who had gotten a master's degree at a university in St. Petersburg in Russia and wanted a PhD in Russian literature.  On the phone, the student sounded professional and impressive.  She talked to several professors besides my friend and they all agreed that her Russian was fluent (though it was obviously American accented.)  She sounded exactly like an American who had learned Russian in High School and had much practice at it.  She claimed to have taught at private schools for five years.

Plus, she name-dropped quite a bit and obviously knew some people who had been stars in the field at another university in the US.  She claimed that her father had been a benefactor of the Language department there and he was a wealthy financier.  He had good friends there and had gotten her interested in literature and languages at a young age.  She said that financing would not be a problem so she didn't need a TA position or anything.

Then things didn't add up.  For one thing, she started corresponding via email and her spelling and grammar were somewhat lacking.  Not horrible, but it sounded like the writing of someone who was well-spoken but had a hard time knowing about how that was expressed in written language.  (She wasn't sure what to do with punctuation for instance.)

She met with some professors and students.  She was poised and stylish, but it was clear that she had never read many of the classic Russian books.  She would throw out a few trite comments about them, but couldn't go into depth.  We're talking Anna Karenina, The Possessed, etc.  Stuff you just CANNOT get away with NOT reading if you are vaguely interested in Russian literature.  If she was cornered, she'd say that she had read them in in the original Russian and it was too hard to speak about it in English.  But she would make excuses in Russian too.

Finally, because she had a degree overseas, a potential adviser asked to see a copy of her transcript so they could determine if she had the general ed classes required.  (The poor written skills were a concern.)  She claimed she didn't have it and asked what they wanted her to have taken.  The adviser named some courses and she said, "Oh yeah, I've taken all of those." But wouldn't go into detail.

She informed the department admin that she wouldn't produce a transcript or diploma for the application and told them that they would just have to take her word for it.  She claimed she had just escaped an abusive marriage and had to leave all her paperwork behind.  She then said that she could not gain the documentation, because Russia was a very disorganized country and they didn't keep records of students.    (Most of the department had taken at least SOME classes in Russia so they knew this was fake.)  She got into a screaming fight with the admin over her incomplete application.  During this time she brought up her father, and how important she was, and what a peon the administrative assistant was, and how she'd better learn to do as she was told if she knew what was good for her.

Because she was charming, she had developed personal friendships with some of the graduate students.  While hitting the town with some of them, one noticed that she had an ID that had a different name on it.  The age on that ID was 22.  Another noticed still another name on an ID.

When she discovered that a transcript was absolutely required, she sent an angry letter about how she had "never seen such incompetent bureaucracy" (remember, she had supposedly gone to Russia in 1995) and disappeared.

Internet searches of her father (by this time everyone was dying of curiosity.) revealed that he had been married multiple times but they could not discover that he had a child with any of those names.  (He was rich, not famous so who knows?)

Everyone pretty much agreed that she was running some sort of con scheme.  But seriously?  If you are good at conning people, why on earth would you try and get admittance to a PhD program for Russian Literature?  Why would you pull a fast one in order to pony up six-figures in tuition and 4-7 years of 100 hour work weeks?  And what could she possibly do afterwards besides compete in a brutal race for some scant 70K a year jobs?  And why did so much of her background (fluency in Russian, personal knowledge of the other professors) clearly back up her story?

Everyone agreed that the absolute worst part of that whole experience was that they would never, ever, ever, know what her real game was.  They were all dying of curiosity.

Wulfie

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I have a tenant who wants to be transferred into a 3 bedroom unit. Wonderful, except we don’t have 3 bedroom units.  All of our units are 1 & 2 bedrooms. His case manager laid into me about how I need to find them a 3 bedroom apartment somewhere as they are low income and it is not their fault that she is pregnant again and they are going to be over occupancy for a 2 bedroom apartment. 

I have 1 tenant who wants me to change the laws for him and his son. The maximum occupancy for a 1 bedroom unit is 3 people. His son fought for and was granted custody of his infant son ( not sure why as the mom seems more together than either of my tenants) . They then threw a fit when they were told they were over occupancy when he moved the baby’s mother in to take care of it and she was made to move out. The father told me that they had to be given a 2 bedroom unit then. Problem is that we only have 6 of them and low income housing has a very low turnover. Most people stay in their units for the remainder of their lives (or we have to evict them for some reason).  He told me that he wanted me to kick someone out of their apartment so he could have it. It is “too difficult” for two single men to raise a baby.  He comes back every couple of weeks to make the same demand.  He also says that the baby is not a person so should not count for occupancy. Never mind that the laws say if it has a pulse and is human, it is an occupant.

ladyknight1

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Time to resurrect this awesome thread.

Student SH is attending a community college in our great state. SH applies for admission to my university, which is not affiliated with her community college. SH contacts me to help her with her admission. SH is very difficult to understand (English is not her first language, but I am usually the best at understanding anyone) on the phone, and I have to close my door and turn off my music to understand her. SH does not listen well, and talks over me when I try to help her. SH received a bachelor's degree in a foreign country. I have tried emailing her, but she won't email me back.

Me: After looking at your file, I see that you have not taken English Composition I & II in the US. You will not be admissable by the university unless you take those courses or the TOEFL (a test of English). Even after you take the TOEFL, you will have to take English Comp I & II before being admitted to your program.
SH: But I am a US citizen. Why do I have to take this test?
Me: The test has nothing to do with your citizenship. You can take the test, or take the two English Comp courses. It is your choice.

This same conversation repeats daily over two weeks. We still can't get it through to her that she can't start unless she takes those courses. She doesn't want to talk to the advisor at her school, or drive to one of our sites to speak with one of ours. I am at the end of my rope. We have discovered that she wants a different answer and will keep calling until she gets it.
snip

Everyone agreed that the absolute worst part of that whole experience was that they would never, ever, ever, know what her real game was.  They were all dying of curiosity.

This student (SH) started calling random numbers she found in the directory, only to be told the same things. If she honestly did not understand, then I would be sympathetic. She just refuses to play by our rules.

Cami

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I went into a Lowe's over the weekend and asked for "Spirit Water." The clerk looked at me like I had two heads. "I was told I need to buy Spirit Water," I insisted. "He said it's like a paint thinner."

She showed me to the Mineral Spirits. Thank goodness she was able to decipher my idiocy. We shared a good laugh at my mistake, and I apologized.

I never minded the customers who sort of knew what they were asking and worked with me while I decoded.  It was the ones who assumed they were perfect and yelled while I tried to figure them out that got me.  Because they were always the ones who acted like I should have known all along when I FINALLY figured them out.  I worked at a flower shop once and had someone say, "The red ones - you know, the red ones!" while I was trying to show him a picture of every flower known to man.

At my job, some customer requests cannot be processed on weekends as the people that work certain things do not work weekends.  I just had a customer think just because we are open nearly all hours that certain people that process requests keep the same hours the support desk does.  He didn't like that answer at all, and said it was unacceptable (a word I want to ban from customers' mouth) when they are special snowflakes.  ::)

I also once worked for a 24 hour repair service.  I manned the phones all night, but the repairman was on call.  If there was a true emergency (and no, I wouldn't call him to fix the lawnmower at 3 am) I would have to send out a page to wake him up.  If the customer lived in the suburbs, it might take a couple hours for him to come.  I got mightily tired of the word "unacceptable." 

I finally got annoyed one night and (yes, I'd fire me for this if I caught me and I don't advocate this behavior) and told a woman that I was very sorry but the teleporter was broken so he'd have to drive to her address (which was sixty miles from anything I might add!)

When I worked in bridal, I had a moment like that. An out of town bride and her mom came in to pick up her gown and accessories on a Thursday morning. Some confusion occurred and they forgot the bride's slip. We realized it very quickly and called to let them know. We offered to provide a slip free of charge at the salon in their home town -- all they'd have to do is pick it up and we would refund their credit card for the slip they'd bought from us (so they end up with a free slip).

The mother refused. "Unacceptable!". She insisted that we drive the slip out there immediately. I explained that normally we would do that but the reason we wanted to set up a slip pick up with the other salon was that since they had left the salon the weather had gone cuckoo and now we were under a tornado warning and severe thunderstorm warning. The police had issued warnings to stay off the roads in our area. So naturally, I was not going to send one of my staff out in such weather.

The mother flipped and screamed the word, "UNACCEPTABLE!" to me over and over and over. She insisted, "I DON'T CARE IF SOMEONE DIES AS LONG AS MY DAUGHTER HAS HER SLIP!"

At that moment I took a deep breath and said, "Well, I do. I am not sending anyone out in this weather to deliver a slip. We will come out as soon as the weather clears tonight or first thing tomorrow morning."

She kept screaming at me and cussed me out repeatedly. I finally had to tell her, "We will deliver the slip tomorrow morning at 7am. Good bye."

I was the one who drove that slip to her house. She was a real peach in person too.

You just wonder how spoiled rotten someone has to be to behave like that. A person's life is worth less than a stupid slip?
« Last Edit: May 14, 2012, 04:47:25 PM by Cami »

Twik

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MIL was absolutely certain that there was.  She was very put out at the thought that a bank might lend out "her" money to other people! She also thought that whenever she wrote a check or paid with a credit card that the bank would pull out her signature card and compare the signatures on the check/card receipt.

There was a day, once, when the banks did actually compare signatures on cheques. Good tellers were expected to actually recognize the handwriting of their important customers.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Snooks

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I have a tenant who wants to be transferred into a 3 bedroom unit. Wonderful, except we don’t have 3 bedroom units.  All of our units are 1 & 2 bedrooms. His case manager laid into me about how I need to find them a 3 bedroom apartment somewhere as they are low income and it is not their fault that she is pregnant again and they are going to be over occupancy for a 2 bedroom apartment. 

Immaculate conception?

ladyknight1

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I have a tenant who wants to be transferred into a 3 bedroom unit. Wonderful, except we don’t have 3 bedroom units.  All of our units are 1 & 2 bedrooms. His case manager laid into me about how I need to find them a 3 bedroom apartment somewhere as they are low income and it is not their fault that she is pregnant again and they are going to be over occupancy for a 2 bedroom apartment. 

Immaculate conception?

Like the transfer student who is threatening to sue the university because no one told him how low his transfer GPA was. Who made those grades?