Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)

[msmoose]

On the check needing to be physically present vein...I had a customer one time ask if they could fax me the check so I could process an order faster (all orders were prepaid). Um, I don't think the bank would honor that one.

It actually is possible! I pay our insurance premiums every month via fax, along with a handful of vendors. All the bank really cares about is having the routing and account numbers (which is how you set up bank drafts online, and how mobile banking works too, I believe). The image of the signed check is plenty for the bank to approve the funds transfer. I don't know how thrilled they'd be about depositing a picture of a check made out to Joe Random from Susie Whatsit - I've never tried it with a personal check, but businesses certainly fax checks around.

[bluhairfreak]

On the check needing to be physically present vein...I had a customer one time ask if they could fax me the check so I could process an order faster (all orders were prepaid). Um, I don't think the bank would honor that one.

It actually is possible! I pay our insurance premiums every month via fax, along with a handful of vendors. All the bank really cares about is having the routing and account numbers (which is how you set up bank drafts online, and how mobile banking works too, I believe). The image of the signed check is plenty for the bank to approve the funds transfer. I don't know how thrilled they'd be about depositing a picture of a check made out to Joe Random from Susie Whatsit - I've never tried it with a personal check, but businesses certainly fax checks around.

See Check 21 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Check_21_Act  IIRC business and banks did have to set things up before just going an faxing checks around and presenting them.  This is what allows Chase to have the quick deposit service on people's smartphones(but the depositer still needs the check in hand and to endorse it)  But what the business you're working with are probably doing is an ACH transaction and that's a service the business has to sign up for with their bank, Lazy Daisy's employer might not have signed up and so can't convert checks to electronic payments.

[LazyDaisy]

On the check needing to be physically present vein...I had a customer one time ask if they could fax me the check so I could process an order faster (all orders were prepaid). Um, I don't think the bank would honor that one.

It actually is possible! I pay our insurance premiums every month via fax, along with a handful of vendors. All the bank really cares about is having the routing and account numbers (which is how you set up bank drafts online, and how mobile banking works too, I believe). The image of the signed check is plenty for the bank to approve the funds transfer. I don't know how thrilled they'd be about depositing a picture of a check made out to Joe Random from Susie Whatsit - I've never tried it with a personal check, but businesses certainly fax checks around.

See Check 21 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Check_21_Act  IIRC business and banks did have to set things up before just going an faxing checks around and presenting them.  This is what allows Chase to have the quick deposit service on people's smartphones(but the depositer still needs the check in hand and to endorse it)  But what the business you're working with are probably doing is an ACH transaction and that's a service the business has to sign up for with their bank, Lazy Daisy's employer might not have signed up and so can't convert checks to electronic payments.

This was also about 7 years ago. We could take credit or debit card transactions over the telephone without their signature, or on a filled out form via fax, but the customer insisted on writing a check. Those we needed the physical checks in order to deposit them.

[MissRose]

A Snowflake and Harry Potter qualifier:

Just over heard a co-worker....

CW: Company Support, this is CW how I can help you?

Customer:  I need this or that

CW: I am sorry, you have reached the wrong #, here is the correct # to reach this area (he has to do that as he cannot transfer to that #)

Customer: Can't you help me?

CW: I am sorry, I cannot , please contact this #.

Customer eventually hung up, not sure what he told my co-worker but was trying to get some help from someone that could not truly help him.

[gingerzing]

Just got a letter from a freshman looking for materials (handouts, posters, etc) for a school fair.  On the surface, this is pretty normal.  Unfortunately, there were some issues with the letter. The last one being that he mailed it out on Sept 5th (the stamp was marked Sept 7th) and he needed the requested materials by Sept 7th.
Even if the letter would have gotten to the correct mailing address (it ended up at an adjunct association), there was no turnout time ever for it. 
Plus he sent to my association, but mentioned another association's product not once, but twice.

I ended up emailing the teacher (he gave her email) and asking if he still needed material sent from our main association.

[mechtilde]

If you want to use the very large and heavy grand piano we have stored... book it in advance OK?

[Ceallach]

If you want to use the very large and heavy grand piano we have stored... book it in advance OK?

Lol! Somebody just showed up to borrow it?

[IslandMama]

I am convinced that computers like to go on vacation.  I used to handle all hardware/software issues for my department.  If I couldn't fix something at the customer's desk, I would bring it back to my office...where it would immediately begin working perfectly, and continue working perfectly when it went 'home'.

Occasionally we have problems with our computers, and DH, someone who can build computers and troubleshoot almost anything, after trying everything he can think of, will give up in disgust and declare that we must need to replace some expensive part. (It's never a cheap part.) I say "Turn it off and let it rest a while" and he'll argue that rest won't fix whatever problem it has. But sure enough, nine times out of ten the computer starts right up after sitting for a few hours. These are not overheating problems, either, but putting the computer in time out does work sometimes. And if time out doesn't work, thumping it is worth a shot. 

We think the computers in our office have a crush on the IT guy, or just really like him.   We can be having problem upon problem with them, file many help requests with IT, and when he's actually there, standing in front of them ... they work just fine.

Two seconds after he leaves, boom. The problems are back. Sigh.

I solved that problem in our office.  I put a small photo of the IT guy inside every computer.  Don't ask me why but it worked... the computers suddenly only had legitimate issues from then on.

[MissRose]

I had a customer call in as we disabled his service for a good reason: problems with a lot of outgoing email bouncing back A LOT.  He was not happy that we did not call him and warn him.  Yes, we should have called him but if he was, I found no proof, and sometimes if a large amount of customers are affected, we may not be able to reach them all.  I had to repeat to him several times what he has to do to get service back, and he does have workarounds that take a few seconds longer to use until then.  I've had other customers call in with same scenarios demanding we enable service back NOW and think they do not have to do thinks like clean up dirty mailing lists as an example first among other things!

[Sirius]

If you want to use the very large and heavy grand piano we have stored... book it in advance OK?

Lol! Somebody just showed up to borrow it?

An artist who performed at our church some years back brought his own grand piano with him.  Now, I realize this isn't practical for everyone, but in my years of playing with a band I've found that it's always a good idea to bring what equipment you have and not rely on pianos, etc. that might be at a location.  Mr. Sirius plays keyboards, and he has a very nice portable keyboard - he used to play the one belonging to the lead singer, who was not a keyboard player, and he said the difference in quality is light night and day. 

He got to play a brand new baby grand for a church service, and he checked that piano over as thoroughly as if it was a car he was thinking of buying.  He told me later that it was easily one of the nicest pianos he's ever played.

[Luci45]

If you want to use the very large and heavy grand piano we have stored... book it in advance OK?

Lol! Somebody just showed up to borrow it?

An artist who performed at our church some years back brought his own grand piano with him.  Now, I realize this isn't practical for everyone, but in my years of playing with a band I've found that it's always a good idea to bring what equipment you have and not rely on pianos, etc. that might be at a location.  Mr. Sirius plays keyboards, and he has a very nice portable keyboard - he used to play the one belonging to the lead singer, who was not a keyboard player, and he said the difference in quality is light night and day. 

He got to play a brand new baby grand for a church service, and he checked that piano over as thoroughly as if it was a car he was thinking of buying.  He told me later that it was easily one of the nicest pianos he's ever played.

Every instruments or electronic device is different.

I played many different pianos as a complete, untalented amature, and it take about 60 minutes to get used to the new slightly different touch, and I'm no artist!

I have used many different typewriters and when I was in data entry (keypunching computer cards or later keyboards directly into the computers), every machine, all manufactured and delived at the same time, was just a touch off. Even as a substitute school librarian in the '90s, each scanner was different even though they looked and worked the same.

I can't imagine being a true professional and artist trying to adjust to a different house piano regularly!

[ladyknight1]

Time to resurrect this awesome thread.

Student SH is attending a community college in our great state. SH applies for admission to my university, which is not affiliated with her community college. SH contacts me to help her with her admission. SH is very difficult to understand (English is not her first language, but I am usually the best at understanding anyone) on the phone, and I have to close my door and turn off my music to understand her. SH does not listen well, and talks over me when I try to help her. SH received a bachelor's degree in a foreign country. I have tried emailing her, but she won't email me back.

Me: After looking at your file, I see that you have not taken English Composition I & II in the US. You will not be admissable by the university unless you take those courses or the TOEFL (a test of English). Even after you take the TOEFL, you will have to take English Comp I & II before being admitted to your program.
SH: But I am a US citizen. Why do I have to take this test?
Me: The test has nothing to do with your citizenship. You can take the test, or take the two English Comp courses. It is your choice.

This same conversation repeats daily over two weeks. We still can't get it through to her that she can't start unless she takes those courses. She doesn't want to talk to the advisor at her school, or drive to one of our sites to speak with one of ours. I am at the end of my rope. We have discovered that she wants a different answer and will keep calling until she gets it.

SH is back. Today alone, she has called 6 times and spent more than 30 minutes cumulative on the phone with our poor receptionist. She won't let him transfer her. I took pity on him and walked up to the desk to talk to her. She insisted on speaking with our (since retired) senior staff member. I explained that SR staff member no longer works here and, after looking at her file, I explained what steps she needs to take and sent them to her in an email. She has called four times since then.

I am at a loss.

[gorplady]

Time to resurrect this awesome thread.

Student SH is attending a community college in our great state. SH applies for admission to my university, which is not affiliated with her community college. SH contacts me to help her with her admission. SH is very difficult to understand (English is not her first language, but I am usually the best at understanding anyone) on the phone, and I have to close my door and turn off my music to understand her. SH does not listen well, and talks over me when I try to help her. SH received a bachelor's degree in a foreign country. I have tried emailing her, but she won't email me back.

Me: After looking at your file, I see that you have not taken English Composition I & II in the US. You will not be admissable by the university unless you take those courses or the TOEFL (a test of English). Even after you take the TOEFL, you will have to take English Comp I & II before being admitted to your program.
SH: But I am a US citizen. Why do I have to take this test?
Me: The test has nothing to do with your citizenship. You can take the test, or take the two English Comp courses. It is your choice.

This same conversation repeats daily over two weeks. We still can't get it through to her that she can't start unless she takes those courses. She doesn't want to talk to the advisor at her school, or drive to one of our sites to speak with one of ours. I am at the end of my rope. We have discovered that she wants a different answer and will keep calling until she gets it.

SH is back. Today alone, she has called 6 times and spent more than 30 minutes cumulative on the phone with our poor receptionist. She won't let him transfer her. I took pity on him and walked up to the desk to talk to her. She insisted on speaking with our (since retired) senior staff member. I explained that SR staff member no longer works here and, after looking at her file, I explained what steps she needs to take and sent them to her in an email. She has called four times since then.

I am at a loss.

It's confusing to me, so I can understand why it's confusing to her. You say "You have to take the TOEFL or English Comp I & II." Then you say "Even if you take the TOEFL, you still have to take English Comp I & II." Why not just tell her she has to take English Comp I & II, and skip the TOEFL part, because it looks like she has to take those two classes anyway?

[greencat]

Time to resurrect this awesome thread.

Student SH is attending a community college in our great state. SH applies for admission to my university, which is not affiliated with her community college. SH contacts me to help her with her admission. SH is very difficult to understand (English is not her first language, but I am usually the best at understanding anyone) on the phone, and I have to close my door and turn off my music to understand her. SH does not listen well, and talks over me when I try to help her. SH received a bachelor's degree in a foreign country. I have tried emailing her, but she won't email me back.

Me: After looking at your file, I see that you have not taken English Composition I & II in the US. You will not be admissable by the university unless you take those courses or the TOEFL (a test of English). Even after you take the TOEFL, you will have to take English Comp I & II before being admitted to your program.
SH: But I am a US citizen. Why do I have to take this test?
Me: The test has nothing to do with your citizenship. You can take the test, or take the two English Comp courses. It is your choice.

This same conversation repeats daily over two weeks. We still can't get it through to her that she can't start unless she takes those courses. She doesn't want to talk to the advisor at her school, or drive to one of our sites to speak with one of ours. I am at the end of my rope. We have discovered that she wants a different answer and will keep calling until she gets it.

SH is back. Today alone, she has called 6 times and spent more than 30 minutes cumulative on the phone with our poor receptionist. She won't let him transfer her. I took pity on him and walked up to the desk to talk to her. She insisted on speaking with our (since retired) senior staff member. I explained that SR staff member no longer works here and, after looking at her file, I explained what steps she needs to take and sent them to her in an email. She has called four times since then.

I am at a loss.

It's confusing to me, so I can understand why it's confusing to her. You say "You have to take the TOEFL or English Comp I & II." Then you say "Even if you take the TOEFL, you still have to take English Comp I & II." Why not just tell her she has to take English Comp I & II, and skip the TOEFL part, because it looks like she has to take those two classes anyway?

In order for the prospective student to be admitted to LadyKnight's employer (my alma mater) she has to prove that she has English competency by either taking the test or showing that she has taken the English courses already.  In order to graduate from the University (or any other state-funded four-year college in my state) the student will need to take those two courses.  The TOEFL is offered on a frequent basis worldwide - taking the courses would require months before she was acceptable for admission.

[rose red]

In order for the prospective student to be admitted to LadyKnight's employer (my alma mater) she has to prove that she has English competency by either taking the test or showing that she has taken the English courses already.  In order to graduate from the University (or any other state-funded four-year college in my state) the student will need to take those two courses.  The TOEFL is offered on a frequent basis worldwide - taking the courses would require months before she was acceptable for admission.

So you're saying she need to take all three classes anyway.  First the TOEFL to prove her English skills and then the two classes to graduate.  I think the student should have just been told that.  The "or" is very confusing and the student was given too many details/scenarios.  (unless I'm the one confused).