Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)

[NyaChan]

I think streamlining it will help, but the bigger problem seems to be that the student doesn't want to take any of those classes/tests.  She isn't understanding that being a US Citizen does not satisfy the college's requirements for proving English language skills before admission.

[Firecat]

I think streamlining it will help, but the bigger problem seems to be that the student doesn't want to take any of those classes/tests.  She isn't doesn't want to understand that being a US Citizen does not satisfy the college's requirements for proving English language skills before admission.

Fixed that for you.  But then, I pretty routinely have to give people information they don't want to hear, and it's amazing how many times they'll call or email, trying to get the answer they want instead of the answer that actually is, well, the answer.

[mechtilde]

If you want to use the very large and heavy grand piano we have stored... book it in advance OK?

Lol! Somebody just showed up to borrow it?

Sort of- they were having an event in a large function room, and wanted to be allowed to use it. Now whilst it is entirely possible to use it, it does need to be set up beforehand

[Jocelyn]

In order for the prospective student to be admitted to LadyKnight's employer (my alma mater) she has to prove that she has English competency by either taking the test or showing that she has taken the English courses already.  In order to graduate from the University (or any other state-funded four-year college in my state) the student will need to take those two courses.  The TOEFL is offered on a frequent basis worldwide - taking the courses would require months before she was acceptable for admission.

So you're saying she need to take all three classes anyway.  First the TOEFL to prove her English skills and then the two classes to graduate.  I think the student should have just been told that.  The "or" is very confusing and the student was given too many details/scenarios.  (unless I'm the one confused).

TOEFL isn't a class, it's a test, not terribly unlike the SAT or the ACT.
Basically the situation is that Student can take the TOEFL, pass it and begin at University right away; OR student can take Comp I and II, and begin at University two semesters from now. However, if Student choses option 1, she will still need to take Comp I and II at University. It all depends upon how quickly she wants to start at University, and, to a certain degree, how good she is at taking standardized tests. I've had students who had the skills, but were poor test-takers, so acing the classes was a possibility for them, but they might not be able to pass the test.

[ladyknight1]

Time to resurrect this awesome thread.

Student SH is attending a community college in our great state. SH applies for admission to my university, which is not affiliated with her community college. SH contacts me to help her with her admission. SH is very difficult to understand (English is not her first language, but I am usually the best at understanding anyone) on the phone, and I have to close my door and turn off my music to understand her. SH does not listen well, and talks over me when I try to help her. SH received a bachelor's degree in a foreign country. I have tried emailing her, but she won't email me back.

Me: After looking at your file, I see that you have not taken English Composition I & II in the US. You will not be admissable by the university unless you take those courses or the TOEFL (a test of English). Even after you take the TOEFL, you will have to take English Comp I & II before being admitted to your program.
SH: But I am a US citizen. Why do I have to take this test?
Me: The test has nothing to do with your citizenship. You can take the test, or take the two English Comp courses. It is your choice.

This same conversation repeats daily over two weeks. We still can't get it through to her that she can't start unless she takes those courses. She doesn't want to talk to the advisor at her school, or drive to one of our sites to speak with one of ours. I am at the end of my rope. We have discovered that she wants a different answer and will keep calling until she gets it.

SH is back. Today alone, she has called 6 times and spent more than 30 minutes cumulative on the phone with our poor receptionist. She won't let him transfer her. I took pity on him and walked up to the desk to talk to her. She insisted on speaking with our (since retired) senior staff member. I explained that SR staff member no longer works here and, after looking at her file, I explained what steps she needs to take and sent them to her in an email. She has called four times since then.

I am at a loss.

It's confusing to me, so I can understand why it's confusing to her. You say "You have to take the TOEFL or English Comp I & II." Then you say "Even if you take the TOEFL, you still have to take English Comp I & II." Why not just tell her she has to take English Comp I & II, and skip the TOEFL part, because it looks like she has to take those two classes anyway?

In order for the prospective student to be admitted to LadyKnight's employer (my alma mater) she has to prove that she has English competency by either taking the test or showing that she has taken the English courses already.  In order to graduate from the University (or any other state-funded four-year college in my state) the student will need to take those two courses.  The TOEFL is offered on a frequent basis worldwide - taking the courses would require months before she was acceptable for admission.

The TOEFL is to demonstrate she is capable of communicating in English. She uses a translator when on the phone, and would have to demonstrate competency in speaking English to be admitted. Conversations take a very long time with her (she interrupts every statement on my end) and she will not respond to email, although she does read them.

[Shalamar]

I used to take orders from store owners over the phone for all the stuff drug stores sell.   There was one guy who always asked for "cigarettes in the red package".    I don't smoke, but even if I did, I'd need more than that - size of cigarette, number of packages in the case, and, oh, I dunno - how about a NAME?

Whereupon he'd tell me to "go look on the shelf".  Now, I wasn't allowed to go into our warehouse, and even if I could just leave my desk and go run upstairs, there were certain things that had VERY restricted access.  Cigarettes were one of them.  I'd try to tell him this, and he'd get exasperated, saying "just go check!  How hard is it to go look on the shelf?"

Then he'd ask suspiciously "Are you NEW there?", and when I replied "Actually, I've worked here for over a year,", he'd say "Never mind, honey,  you'll get the hang of it eventually."

AAARGH!

[PeterM]

I used to take orders from store owners over the phone for all the stuff drug stores sell.   There was one guy who always asked for "cigarettes in the red package".    I don't smoke, but even if I did, I'd need more than that - size of cigarette, number of packages in the case, and, oh, I dunno - how about a NAME?

Whereupon he'd tell me to "go look on the shelf".  Now, I wasn't allowed to go into our warehouse, and even if I could just leave my desk and go run upstairs, there were certain things that had VERY restricted access.  Cigarettes were one of them.  I'd try to tell him this, and he'd get exasperated, saying "just go check!  How hard is it to go look on the shelf?"

"Since you seem completely incapable of it, you tell me."

That said, I'm guessing Marlboros.

[dawnfire]

I used to take orders from store owners over the phone for all the stuff drug stores sell.   There was one guy who always asked for "cigarettes in the red package".    I don't smoke, but even if I did, I'd need more than that - size of cigarette, number of packages in the case, and, oh, I dunno - how about a NAME?

Whereupon he'd tell me to "go look on the shelf".  Now, I wasn't allowed to go into our warehouse, and even if I could just leave my desk and go run upstairs, there were certain things that had VERY restricted access.  Cigarettes were one of them.  I'd try to tell him this, and he'd get exasperated, saying "just go check!  How hard is it to go look on the shelf?"

"Since you seem completely incapable of it, you tell me."

That said, I'm guessing Marlboros.

I'd say marlboros too but here most cigarette companies have one product with red packaging, usually indicating their strongest (most amount of nicotine) cigarette.

[mmswm]

I used to take orders from store owners over the phone for all the stuff drug stores sell.   There was one guy who always asked for "cigarettes in the red package".    I don't smoke, but even if I did, I'd need more than that - size of cigarette, number of packages in the case, and, oh, I dunno - how about a NAME?

Whereupon he'd tell me to "go look on the shelf".  Now, I wasn't allowed to go into our warehouse, and even if I could just leave my desk and go run upstairs, there were certain things that had VERY restricted access.  Cigarettes were one of them.  I'd try to tell him this, and he'd get exasperated, saying "just go check!  How hard is it to go look on the shelf?"

"Since you seem completely incapable of it, you tell me."

That said, I'm guessing Marlboros.

I'd say marlboros too but here most cigarette companies have one product with red packaging, usually indicating their strongest (most amount of nicotine) cigarette.

Marlboros are red and white.  Dorals are solid red.  I'd have guessed Dorals, but Marlboros are more popular.

[Shalamar]

Trouble is, even if I'd been able to figure out the brand based solely on "red package", I still needed specifics on size, menthol/non-menthol, number of packages in the case, etc. ... and he couldn't tell me THAT, either.

Then there were the customers who apparently didn't realize that light bulbs come in different wattages, because they'd just ask for "light bulbs" and get irritated when I asked for more information.

[RegionMom]

Wonder if the guy could not read? 

There was a kid book I enjoyed, called "The Little Old man Who Could Not Read" and it detailed the grocery store trip he took on his own when his wife left for a few days.  Everything he bought looked like the right packaging to him, but every box and can was not the food he expected.  He became grumpy, and HUNGRY!

He had only learned color and shape, not the actual words, until he HAD to.  When his wife returned, he was working on learning to read!  And shop!  And feed himself!   

Anyway, wonder if the red cigarette guy was something similar.

[dawnfire]

I wonder if the cigarettes are for him. most cigarette smokers can rattle off their preferred brand like it was their address.

[mmswm]

Trouble is, even if I'd been able to figure out the brand based solely on "red package", I still needed specifics on size, menthol/non-menthol, number of packages in the case, etc. ... and he couldn't tell me THAT, either.

Then there were the customers who apparently didn't realize that light bulbs come in different wattages, because they'd just ask for "light bulbs" and get irritated when I asked for more information.

Actually, there's sort of a common scheme with cigarettes.  Red boxes are full flavor.  Gold/brown/sometimes blue are lights.  Greens are menthols. Every once in a while, you'll see a blue package that's not quite menthol, but more pepperminty instead. Greys and slivers are ultra-lights.  Camels are the exception to the red=full flavor rule.  I'm not recalling off-hand what color the little tab on the top of the box is.

Of course, there's still the question of size.  Most brands come "short" and "long" sizes.  For the most part, if it's not specified, they want the short ones.  If you want the long ones you generally specifiy "100's" or "99's" (depending on brands).

Regardless of all that he was still being ridiculous with the "red box". Ugh.

[greencat]

I wonder if the cigarettes are for him. most cigarette smokers can rattle off their preferred brand like it was their address.

I missed it in the original post on my first read as well, but the OP of the cigarette post works in an ordering facility and the person asking for the "red box" is trying to order large quantities for his store.

[Coruscation]

Trouble is, even if I'd been able to figure out the brand based solely on "red package", I still needed specifics on size, menthol/non-menthol, number of packages in the case, etc. ... and he couldn't tell me THAT, either.

Then there were the customers who apparently didn't realize that light bulbs come in different wattages, because they'd just ask for "light bulbs" and get irritated when I asked for more information.

This is me shopping for hubby. He sends me to the hardware store for say, No More Gaps. Since I have been shopping for him before I know to ask "What kind?"

Him: How many kinds can there be?

Me: Based on when you sent me for screws there are probably at least ones for wood and metal.

Him : Don't be silly, just get whatever they have.

Me: What do you need it for?

Him: Gaps in the wall boards

I get to the hardware store and there are (I counted) thirteen types of No More Gaps in our small store. I manage to get the right one.