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  • May 24, 2018, 06:54:55 PM

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Author Topic: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)  (Read 1713161 times)

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selkiewoman

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I work in a quilt shop, and I frequently get customers looking for a particular fabric they purchased from us months or even years ago.  There is a core of fabrics we call 'blenders' because, well, that's what they do - they fit with many fabric lines and help pull your quilt together.  They tend to stick around for a long time.  But the cute fabric with purple and green dinosaurs or kitties playing pool - 4 to 6 months tops at our store.  Sometimes it is no longer available for reorder, sometimes we just need to make room for newer and fresher fabrics, and the older lines wind up reduced on the flatfold table.  So if you love chevrons or black and lime green, buy it while it is in style, because it may not be so easy to find when it isn't.

Jocelyn

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-Someone wanted a whole muffaletta (which is a giant sandwich the size of a dinner plate), but instead of bread, they wanted it wrapped in lettuce. Ok...maybe this can be done...but they asked if we could cut it in to pinwheels so they could serve it as party food. So physically impossible.

I dunno, lay out some lettuce, layer it with meats and olive salad, roll, stab with millions of toothpicks and slice. Probably a bit messy, but if you used a minimal amount of olive salad it might work.

I don't know about YOUR lettuce, but I've never seen lettuce that would wrap around something dinner plate sized....  I've seen lettuce leaves that could do a burger bun thing, top and bottom, but not wrap around.  Do you live in Alaska and grow those gigantic veggies I used to see pictures of?!
Lay down several overlapping leaves. If you roll them in the right direction, they'll stay together.

MissRose

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I am overhearing a Harry Potter situation from someone sitting near me:

Customer needs a technician to fix his internet lines onsite and has an open ticket.  The recent note mentions the tech is not allowed on site at the moment due to a recent fire that was put out in his building.  I am not sure what part of "we cannot override the fire marshal and emergency services are not letting anyone inside the building" at this time.  At least my co-worker is offering to make the update to the ticket and escalate it even if the tech is not allowed yet into the building to fix the issue.

Margo

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Not a patron request but similar to the last story - My sister had a similar conversation with the Landlady of the house she lived in as a student. The kitchen had a gas cooker, and my sister and her housemates turned off the gas and called the emergency gas line after an incident involving a sheet of flame shooting out from the back of the hob when they tried to light one of the rings. (as the size of the flame made them think that there must be a leak, for there to be that much gas around when the cooker had not been turned on)

The gasman who came out apparently turned white as a sheet after inspecting the cooker. He then physically disconnected it from the gas supply, wrapped it round with tape marked 'condemned' and advised them both verbally and in writing that the cooker was extremely unsafe, and under no circumstances should it be reconnected to the mains, or used in any way, unless it was first repaired by a qualified gas engineer and re-inspected. He also told them that he did not think it was likely to be worth trying to repair it, due to its age and the extent of the faults.

When they were able to get hold of the landlady her response was to tell them to "use the other three rings". After having been told that the entire appliance had been disconnected and condemned) She went as far as to suggest that my sister and her housemates should reconnect it so they could use the other three rings.. Even after they explained that that would be illegal.

In the end, I think it was about 2 weeks before she finally agreed to replace the cooker.


asb8

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I am overhearing a Harry Potter situation from someone sitting near me:

Customer needs a technician to fix his internet lines onsite and has an open ticket.  The recent note mentions the tech is not allowed on site at the moment due to a recent fire that was put out in his building.  I am not sure what part of "we cannot override the fire marshal and emergency services are not letting anyone inside the building" at this time.  At least my co-worker is offering to make the update to the ticket and escalate it even if the tech is not allowed yet into the building to fix the issue.

Did something get left out here?  I'm not seeing the impossible request, just that a customer needs an on-site technician once the fire marshal allows re-entry of the building.  Your co-worker should be updating the ticket and noting the request as part of their job.

Mel the Redcap

  • Scheming Foreign Hussy married to a Good Ethnic Boy!
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I am overhearing a Harry Potter situation from someone sitting near me:

Customer needs a technician to fix his internet lines onsite and has an open ticket.  The recent note mentions the tech is not allowed on site at the moment due to a recent fire that was put out in his building.  I am not sure what part of "we cannot override the fire marshal and emergency services are not letting anyone inside the building" at this time.  At least my co-worker is offering to make the update to the ticket and escalate it even if the tech is not allowed yet into the building to fix the issue.

Did something get left out here?  I'm not seeing the impossible request, just that a customer needs an on-site technician once the fire marshal allows re-entry of the building.  Your co-worker should be updating the ticket and noting the request as part of their job.

It sounds like the customer was trying to insist the technician go in NOW NOW NOW, fire marshal or no fire marshal. :P
"Set aphasia to stun!"

Pen^2

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Explaining to a customer that sorry, we've no milk left, but the manager has gone to get some and will be back in about fifteen minutes. No, we don't have any in the fridge or out the back, that's what "no milk left" means. No, I personally don't have any extra. There isn't any hidden in a secret place just for staff, no. And no, I cannot just go and milk the cow that you think we have living in the back room.

This happened four times over a few months of working at that particular place.

Slartibartfast

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    • Nerdy Necklaces - my Etsy shop!
From my K9 search team days . . .

Team lead gets a call from a nearby (very rural) sheriff - there's been a house fire and they think the owner was inside, since nobody knows where else she might have been.  Could we get the dogs there right away?

Team lead: "No problem!  How long has the fire been out?"

Sheriff:  " . . . Out?"

Yeah, it wasn't quite out . . . still smoldering, really . . . but they thought we could just run our dogs through no problem.  As it happened, before the fire had cooled enough for us to go, the house's owner came home and was fine.

Midnight Kitty

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To be fair I am not 100% sure this story should go here or in the Special Snowflake thread, but here it is...BG:  My hairdresser has been cutting my hair for over 15 years.  I have very dark brown/auburn hair, naturally very wavy/sort of curly.  I have a lot of natural highlights, from deep red wine, dark copper/carmel and some that are nearly purple.  Most people assume I dye/highlight my hair, some think it is permed.  I do not do anything to it.  I don't blowdry it or curl it.  I don't even own a blowdryer, or a curling iron (I actually do have a flat iron, but rarely use it).  Eng BG

A few weeks ago I went to get my hair cut.  I had to wait as my hairdresser "Lisa" had just started a consultation on a dye job/hair cut.  No problem for me, I brought a book with me.  I sat down and started reading as they started their consultation.A few minutes into the consultation, I hear slightly raised voices, but I really wasn't paying any attention to what was going on.  Lisa comes over to me and asks if I would mind coming to speak with her client  "Jill" about my hair.  I go over to speak with her.  Introductions are made...

Jill: You have lovely hair dear. 
Me: Thank you very much.
Jill: You know I asked Lisa here to do my hair like she does yours, but she says she only cuts it. So I wanted to know who perms and dyes it.
Me: <smile> This is my natural hair ma'am. 

Jill: Well, that can't be.   So do you dye it yourself?  Does some other stylist perm it?
Me" Ma'am this is how my hair naturally is.  It isn't dyed or permed.
Jill to Lisa:  I want my hair like hers!
Lisa:  As I said before I may be able to get it close, but not exactly.
<snip>
Something similar happened to me.  I was sitting in the chair while my former stylist cut my hair.  My natural color is ash blonde, but I spend a lot of time in the sun so the top gets bleached out in the summer and I am starting to turn grey.  Actually, it's more silver than grey.  My former stylist was an expert in coloring hair and was called over to consult on another customer, not an unusual event.

When my stylist came back, she told me that the other customer, an Asian woman with straight black hair told her stylist that she wanted her hair dyed the same color as my hair, complete with "highlights."  I laughed and told my stylist not to forget the silver streaks.
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

Twik

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Explaining to a customer that sorry, we've no milk left, but the manager has gone to get some and will be back in about fifteen minutes. No, we don't have any in the fridge or out the back, that's what "no milk left" means. No, I personally don't have any extra. There isn't any hidden in a secret place just for staff, no. And no, I cannot just go and milk the cow that you think we have living in the back room.

This happened four times over a few months of working at that particular place.

Oh, dear. EvilTwik just suggested murmurring "well, just this once," and starting to unbutton your top.

BAD EvilTwik!
"The sky's the limit. Your sky. Your limit. Now, let's dance!"

HenrysMom

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Explaining to a customer that sorry, we've no milk left, but the manager has gone to get some and will be back in about fifteen minutes. No, we don't have any in the fridge or out the back, that's what "no milk left" means. No, I personally don't have any extra. There isn't any hidden in a secret place just for staff, no. And no, I cannot just go and milk the cow that you think we have living in the back room.

This happened four times over a few months of working at that particular place.

Oh, dear. EvilTwik just suggested murmurring "well, just this once," and starting to unbutton your top.

BAD EvilTwik!

I would pay someone $100 if they would actually do that.

nutraxfornerves

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Explaining to a customer that sorry, we've no milk left, but the manager has gone to get some and will be back in about fifteen minutes. No, we don't have any in the fridge or out the back, that's what "no milk left" means. No, I personally don't have any extra. There isn't any hidden in a secret place just for staff, no. And no, I cannot just go and milk the cow that you think we have living in the back room.

This happened four times over a few months of working at that particular place.

Oh, dear. EvilTwik just suggested murmurring "well, just this once," and starting to unbutton your top.
There is an anecdote in the People's guide ot Mexico. To ask, in Spanish, if a shop sells something, you do not say "Do you have X?" That means "Do you personally have X?" You ask "Is there X?"

Well, one of the authors, a man, walked into a shop and asked the very pregnant shopkeeper "Do you have milk?" He reported that "the reaction of the other customers and the look on the girl's face took a year off my conversational ability in Spanish."

Nutrax
The plural of anecdote is not data

HorseFreak

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Explaining to a customer that sorry, we've no milk left, but the manager has gone to get some and will be back in about fifteen minutes. No, we don't have any in the fridge or out the back, that's what "no milk left" means. No, I personally don't have any extra. There isn't any hidden in a secret place just for staff, no. And no, I cannot just go and milk the cow that you think we have living in the back room.

This happened four times over a few months of working at that particular place.

Oh, dear. EvilTwik just suggested murmurring "well, just this once," and starting to unbutton your top.
There is an anecdote in the People's guide ot Mexico. To ask, in Spanish, if a shop sells something, you do not say "Do you have X?" That means "Do you personally have X?" You ask "Is there X?"

Well, one of the authors, a man, walked into a shop and asked the very pregnant shopkeeper "Do you have milk?" He reported that "the reaction of the other customers and the look on the girl's face took a year off my conversational ability in Spanish."

I asked a Mexican friend of mine about that and he said it's horse poo. It could be regional (he's from the Mexico City area), but he says you can ask "do you have...?" and it would be considered normal.

cwm

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My boyfriend is going through a huge impossible request right now.

He works for Company X, which is mostly contracted to work for Company Y. The current problem that they're having is that Company Y maintains a spreadsheet/database of information called QRS (making up all the acronyms, but they really are just three letter acronyms). His job at Company X is to take the information from QRS and put it into ZYX database so another department at Company Y can read it.

There's a massive issue right now where the data from QRS isn't coming over properly. It's propigating the wrong sets of data, adding duplicate data that can't validate because of errors, and isn't including several pieces of information that they absolutely need. This is a known issue from when QRS was created, but the developers refuse to acknowledge this in any documentable form. Executives at Company Y and Company X are nearly screaming mad because nothing is being done, but boyfriend can't prove what data he's missing because he doesn't have access to QRS to compare what he has and doesn't have. He can't get anyone to allow him access to QRS because it's not part of his job to need all that information. It's likely to take at least another week for him to write the scripts to query the database to see what exactly is going on, plus taking things offline to test them in a stable setting, thus not letting any of the rest of QRS users access it or letting any of the data update live.

The best part? ZYX is going to be gone by the end of the month. This has been planned for a very long time. It's halfway through June and they're JUST NOW opening up tickets (and the average shelf life for a ticket with the development team is two to three weeks before anything can be done). There was literally no way in the timeframe the executives wanted that the issues between ZYX and QRS to be fixed, and barely enough time for them to be diagnosed properly, but unless there's visible progress RIGHT NOW, people are going to be getting in trouble.

Boyfriend has been pulling 14 hour days trying to fix this. Half of the people who can fix this are here in the USA, half of them are in India, making finding time for them to all be online together working on this more difficult than normal. But his bosses can't explain this to the execs from either company, they want it done and they want it done before the system phases out.

Um, yeah. Sorry. No.

Midnight Kitty

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My boyfriend is going through a huge impossible request right now.
 <snip>
But his bosses can't explain this to the execs from either company, they want it done and they want it done before the system phases out.

Um, yeah. Sorry. No.
I work for the government.  Big difference from private business.  We've had gliches in existing systems scheduled to be phased out in a year or 2.  No sense asking IT to fix the gliches; They will just say, "Don't worry about it; We're phasing that system out soon."  Doesn't matter how difficult it makes doing our work now.  I often say "the government moves at glacial speeds." >:D
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius