Author Topic: Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)  (Read 663770 times)

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Redsoil

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Not possible for cows to be vegan, even if they DO eat grass.  They wear leather!
Look out... 
It's one of the Aussie Contingent!


MrTango

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When asked, I said that I had a library card.  The young woman breathed a dramatic sigh of relief and started in on a spiel with a machine-gun delivery. 

Oh-thank-God-I-need-a-book-for-an-assignment-that's-due-tomorrow-and-I-don't-have-a-library-card-can-I-borrow-yours?-I-promise-I'll-bring-it-right-back. 

"Oh, honey, don't worry. You only need a card to take a book out of the library. You can use it on one of their tables all afternoon, until you finish your homework."

Not sure if this makes me an SS, but when I was in college, I really didn't like having to check books out of the library.  On the rare occasion that I needed to look at a source that wasn't available online, I would usually bring my notebooks to the library and take my notes there, rather than actually checking the books out.  (I was always sure to leave the books on the appropriate cart to be reshelved.)

Jocelyn

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Mr. Tango,
That's a legitimate use of a library, so there's nothing SS about it.
What's SS would be if you were hiding the books so you could find them later but other students (and the staff) couldn't, or if you were asking someone to check them out for you on THEIR card.

Thipu1

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As long as you left the books out on the table or put them on a reshelving cart, there was nothing at all SS about what you did. 

It would have been SS if you intentionally reshelved the book in the wrong place so that would be available when you next wanted it.  We had readers who did this. We weren't a circulating library and material went out only on ILL. Having a private stash was important to some readers.  That's why one of our major jobs was shelf reading.     

mbbored

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I was at the grocery store last nigh, and there were a pair of ladies there who just made me  ??? . The first lady was quite loud, and the other seemed to be a bit embarrassed. I've been tuning them out for the most part until I hear Loud Lady say, "well, you don't know until you ask. There's the butcher, ask him....Hey Buuuutcher. Yeah, you. Do you have any vegan beef?" I wasn't really that close to them, so I couldn't hear what the butcher said, but I did her all of Loud Lady's comments. "Seriously, you don't have any vegan beef?...well who does?...but you're the butcher, shouldn't you know that?" Her friend finally ended up dragging her off, and I hurt my brain trying to figure out how on Earth beef could be vegan
Maybe she was thinking 'organic' and it came out 'vegan'?  Cows from a planet circling Vega? 'Cause otherwise I got nuttin'.


Or maybe organic grass-fed? You know, the cows are vegan.
with my
This sounds ridiculous but I had had a serious all out shouting argument with my super formal former debutante grandmother on whether or not organic, grass fed ham counted as vegetarian.

Xanadude

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1) Library computer users are a special breed. No, I cannot and will not kick some off a computer or override their reservation so you can get on.  They have as much right to the computer as you do, regardless of their age or what they are using the computer for.  I understand that you just need to print something out and all the computer users may be Candy Crushing right now, but, it's their time and they can use it as they see fit. and I will definitely NOT cancel someone else's reservation. and no, I cannot physically make you a new computer from scratch nor can I allow you to

2)Library meeting room space - there is a process to it. You have to follow the process, otherwise you do not get the room.  A church group, FOR THREE CONSECUTIVE MONTHS,  advertised that they would be meeting at our library's meeting room. Each month, I had to tell them that since they had not even begun the process they could not use the room.  At the third month I finally just told them I needed to speak to the pastor - once I clued him in on what his congregants had been doing, he made sure the process was followed to a T.  At one point the group had actually asked me to stop a program that was going on in there and ask the group to move.  On another occasion they went and started setting up while another group had their program going on.  Again, the Pastor was not pleased.

3) Tax season is always a headache.  I cannot give tax advice.  I cannot call the IRS for you. I cannot produce a form that does not exist.  I cannot produce your w2 for you. I cannot help you cheat on your taxes.  i cannot open the building early to let you in early for the tax help people (We have tax help people here on certain days.  They start when we open.  Inevitably every day the service is offered people show up threehours before we open and demand to be let in. NO)


StarFaerie

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Not possible for cows to be vegan, even if they DO eat grass.  They wear leather!

So do all humans.

Jocelyn

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This sounds ridiculous but I had had a serious all out shouting argument with my super formal former debutante grandmother on whether or not organic, grass fed ham counted as vegetarian.
Grass-fed ham? Seriously? Hogs are not known for being grazers.

MommyPenguin

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3) Tax season is always a headache.  I cannot give tax advice.  I cannot call the IRS for you. I cannot produce a form that does not exist.  I cannot produce your w2 for you. I cannot help you cheat on your taxes.  i cannot open the building early to let you in early for the tax help people (We have tax help people here on certain days.  They start when we open.  Inevitably every day the service is offered people show up threehours before we open and demand to be let in. NO)

Oh, man, tax season.  I'd forgotten about tax season until now.  For *most* of the years that I worked at the library, we carried tax forms.  The last year, the IRS decided to phase that out, and we no longer had tax forms, because the *IRS* decided not to give us any or to have the library system carry them at all.  Library patrons would actually call the IRS to ask where to get forms, and the IRS would tell them to get them at the library!  We actually called the IRS to tell them to stop sending people to the library if they weren't going to stock forms at the library, but they suggested that maybe a librarian could go to the post office and pick up a bunch of each form, and just do that every time we ran low?  <sigh>

mbbored

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This sounds ridiculous but I had had a serious all out shouting argument with my super formal former debutante grandmother on whether or not organic, grass fed ham counted as vegetarian.
Grass-fed ham? Seriously? Hogs are not known for being grazers.

Hahaha, oops. As a non-pig eater and mostly city-slicker, I'm not terribly familiar with the dietary habits of hogs. However, she did insist that the organic ham was vegetarian since that meant the pig ate a vegetarian diet.


Yarnspinner

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1) Library computer users are a special breed. No, I cannot and will not kick some off a computer or override their reservation so you can get on.  They have as much right to the computer as you do, regardless of their age or what they are using the computer for.  I understand that you just need to print something out and all the computer users may be Candy Crushing right now, but, it's their time and they can use it as they see fit. and I will definitely NOT cancel someone else's reservation. and no, I cannot physically make you a new computer from scratch nor can I allow you to

2)Library meeting room space - there is a process to it. You have to follow the process, otherwise you do not get the room.  A church group, FOR THREE CONSECUTIVE MONTHS,  advertised that they would be meeting at our library's meeting room. Each month, I had to tell them that since they had not even begun the process they could not use the room.  At the third month I finally just told them I needed to speak to the pastor - once I clued him in on what his congregants had been doing, he made sure the process was followed to a T.  At one point the group had actually asked me to stop a program that was going on in there and ask the group to move.  On another occasion they went and started setting up while another group had their program going on.  Again, the Pastor was not pleased.

3) Tax season is always a headache.  I cannot give tax advice.  I cannot call the IRS for you. I cannot produce a form that does not exist.  I cannot produce your w2 for you. I cannot help you cheat on your taxes.  i cannot open the building early to let you in early for the tax help people (We have tax help people here on certain days.  They start when we open.  Inevitably every day the service is offered people show up threehours before we open and demand to be let in. NO)



Aaaaand here are your virtual chocolate chip cookies, your complimentary carafe of virtual pinot grigot and a great big bottle of virtual valium.  Do you work with me? 

Yarnspinner

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3) Tax season is always a headache.  I cannot give tax advice.  I cannot call the IRS for you. I cannot produce a form that does not exist.  I cannot produce your w2 for you. I cannot help you cheat on your taxes.  i cannot open the building early to let you in early for the tax help people (We have tax help people here on certain days.  They start when we open.  Inevitably every day the service is offered people show up threehours before we open and demand to be let in. NO)

Oh, man, tax season.  I'd forgotten about tax season until now.  For *most* of the years that I worked at the library, we carried tax forms.  The last year, the IRS decided to phase that out, and we no longer had tax forms, because the *IRS* decided not to give us any or to have the library system carry them at all.  Library patrons would actually call the IRS to ask where to get forms, and the IRS would tell them to get them at the library!  We actually called the IRS to tell them to stop sending people to the library if they weren't going to stock forms at the library, but they suggested that maybe a librarian could go to the post office and pick up a bunch of each form, and just do that every time we ran low?  <sigh>

I think my head just exploded.  We tried to download forms from the irs.gov page for patrons....but the IRS didn't have all the necessary forms up at that particular time.

We all need some "very far away from it all" time.  And that reminds me:  I still have to get MY taxes done.

Moralia

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As long as you left the books out on the table or put them on a reshelving cart, there was nothing at all SS about what you did. 

It would have been SS if you intentionally reshelved the book in the wrong place so that would be available when you next wanted it.  We had readers who did this. We weren't a circulating library and material went out only on ILL. Having a private stash was important to some readers.  That's why one of our major jobs was shelf reading.   

When I was in college, I nearly got in trouble for reshelving my own books, but the librarian who was coming over to tell me not to saw me fixing misshelved books as I went. So I had special dispensation...I spent many of my teen years as a library volunteer and couldn't NOT put books back where they belonged.

Jocelyn

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This sounds ridiculous but I had had a serious all out shouting argument with my super formal former debutante grandmother on whether or not organic, grass fed ham counted as vegetarian.
Grass-fed ham? Seriously? Hogs are not known for being grazers.

Hahaha, oops. As a non-pig eater and mostly city-slicker, I'm not terribly familiar with the dietary habits of hogs. However, she did insist that the organic ham was vegetarian since that meant the pig ate a vegetarian diet.
Hogs will eat meat, if they can get it. That's why, in 'The Wizard of Oz', everyone panics when Dorothy falls into the pigpen. It wasn't because her dress would get dirty. One thing I was taught as a child, was to never get on the same side of a fence with a hog, without a weapon in my hand. And to always keep an eye out for where I could jump up and over a fence. :) Hogs are just too danged smart for their good...and for the good of humans who raise them. :(

darling

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This sounds ridiculous but I had had a serious all out shouting argument with my super formal former debutante grandmother on whether or not organic, grass fed ham counted as vegetarian.
Grass-fed ham? Seriously? Hogs are not known for being grazers.

Hahaha, oops. As a non-pig eater and mostly city-slicker, I'm not terribly familiar with the dietary habits of hogs. However, she did insist that the organic ham was vegetarian since that meant the pig ate a vegetarian diet.
Hogs will eat meat, if they can get it. That's why, in 'The Wizard of Oz', everyone panics when Dorothy falls into the pigpen. It wasn't because her dress would get dirty. One thing I was taught as a child, was to never get on the same side of a fence with a hog, without a weapon in my hand. And to always keep an eye out for where I could jump up and over a fence. :) Hogs are just too danged smart for their good...and for the good of humans who raise them. :(

Yep, had a distant relative who had a medical issue in the pig pen... He didn't make it out.