Not Going To Happen 'Cause I'm Not Harry Potter (Impossible Patron Requests)

[Reika]

Today I had a customer who was angry that he hadn't gotten his check two days after we mailed it. It's going first class mail in the US Post Office, that's not exactly going to be instantaneous. Not to mention I've mailed things locally that didn't get to another place in the same city for a week.

That part that made it a Harry Potter request was that he wanted to me to pull the check and have it sent overnight. Not stop the check and reissue it (which we won't do because it went to the right address and it's only been two days), but get the original check back and resend it overnight.

[Amara]

Holy cow! This just happened.

I work in the adult education division at my college and am helping cover some breaks at the front desk today because one person is out and only one is there. A woman came in saying she wanted to register for a hiking class. I go to help her and she starts talking about how the fact that the class is scheduled for May 11, Mother's Day in the U.S. "That can't be!" she laments, going on (and one) about how she has too much to do that day, that it must be a mistake, that I should change it, etc. She wasn't unpleasant, but really. Do you think I can override an entire systems database, the instructor's choice, all the proofreading, the printing, payroll records and so on just to make it so she can take the class!

[gingerzing]

Just had this one. 
I work mostly with consumer questions, but occasionally will get other questions from industry folks.  Not normally a big deal.    (Adjusted slightly to keep me out of trouble)
Guy calls and is looking for a source for widgets in his state. Okay.  The tricky part is that he needs these widgets to have been certified to not have a certain issue - let's say never painted purple.   

However, here is the impossible issue.  Any widget made in the US (including his state) is not exposed to purple paint.  Just doesn't happen.  In our industry purple paint actually doesn't even exist.   Now outside of the US there are some purple paint issues, but we haven't had any in our industry for over 30 years.

Yet, the guy has a company that he is working with is demanding a certificate that the widgets he uses have never had purple paint.    I know of many certificates in our widget industry, but because the paint doesn't happen, I can't think of any certificates that exist.   

I had to send him to a widget expert in my office to chat with him about certificates. 

[MissRose]

I was at an outlet mall yesterday.  One store has recently started a going out of business sale.  One guy walked in the store while I was browsing and saying 'competing store in another town with same products and issue was selling things for a lower price' to a sales person.  Like the sales person has any control over the sales prices and percentage off!

[FauxFoodist]

I was at an outlet mall yesterday.  One store has recently started a going out of business sale.  One guy walked in the store while I was browsing and saying 'competing store in another town with same products and issue was selling things for a lower price' to a sales person.  Like the sales person has any control over the sales prices and percentage off!

Actually, it's not unreasonable to mention because, sometimes, the salespeople *do* have control (e.g. -- I was doing a mystery shop on Saturday in a big store chain where there's a huge sign stating they will match Internet prices; in fact, I had to ask about it).  I was once in a beauty salon getting my haircut, and the stylist asked if I wanted to get my eyebrows waxed also.  I asked how much they charge.  The guy said it was $15.  I told him the place I always go to only charges $8 so I would wait.  Stylist talked to his manager and was told he could do it for $8 so I went ahead (never went there again though; my stylist was a big slob with giant food stains going down the front of his apron and didn't do a very good job with my eyebrows, which would've really peeved me at $15 since my usual place did a fantastic job for $8).

[lilfox]

I was at an outlet mall yesterday.  One store has recently started a going out of business sale.  One guy walked in the store while I was browsing and saying 'competing store in another town with same products and issue was selling things for a lower price' to a sales person.  Like the sales person has any control over the sales prices and percentage off!

Actually, it's not unreasonable to mention because, sometimes, the salespeople *do* have control (e.g. -- I was doing a mystery shop on Saturday in a big store chain where there's a huge sign stating they will match Internet prices; in fact, I had to ask about it).  I was once in a beauty salon getting my haircut, and the stylist asked if I wanted to get my eyebrows waxed also.  I asked how much they charge.  The guy said it was $15.  I told him the place I always go to only charges $8 so I would wait.  Stylist talked to his manager and was told he could do it for $8 so I went ahead (never went there again though; my stylist was a big slob with giant food stains going down the front of his apron and didn't do a very good job with my eyebrows, which would've really peeved me at $15 since my usual place did a fantastic job for $8).

Yep, this is one of those things often touted as a "secret" way to get discounts.  One magazine I read routinely offers the advice of always asking "Can you give me a better deal/price?" when making any major purchase.  The salesperson might not be able to, but a manager might.

That's the legit approach to getting an unadvertised discount.  However, the scammers thread is full of examples of people switching tags or boxes, deliberately ruining clothes for damaged-goods discounts, and pulling other snowflakey acts.  Harping on how "this store's prices are too high! Other store is much better!" shouldn't result in a discount so much as a polite invitation to patronize the clearly superior other store.

[buvezdevin]

I was at an outlet mall yesterday.  One store has recently started a going out of business sale.  One guy walked in the store while I was browsing and saying 'competing store in another town with same products and issue was selling things for a lower price' to a sales person.  Like the sales person has any control over the sales prices and percentage off!

Actually, it's not unreasonable to mention because, sometimes, the salespeople *do* have control (e.g. -- I was doing a mystery shop on Saturday in a big store chain where there's a huge sign stating they will match Internet prices; in fact, I had to ask about it).  I was once in a beauty salon getting my haircut, and the stylist asked if I wanted to get my eyebrows waxed also.  I asked how much they charge.  The guy said it was $15.  I told him the place I always go to only charges $8 so I would wait.  Stylist talked to his manager and was told he could do it for $8 so I went ahead (never went there again though; my stylist was a big slob with giant food stains going down the front of his apron and didn't do a very good job with my eyebrows, which would've really peeved me at $15 since my usual place did a fantastic job for $8).

Yep, this is one of those things often touted as a "secret" way to get discounts.  One magazine I read routinely offers the advice of always asking "Can you give me a better deal/price?" when making any major purchase.  The salesperson might not be able to, but a manager might.

That's the legit approach to getting an unadvertised discount.  However, the scammers thread is full of examples of people switching tags or boxes, deliberately ruining clothes for damaged-goods discounts, and pulling other snowflakey acts.  Harping on how "this store's prices are too high! Other store is much better!" shouldn't result in a discount so much as a polite invitation to patronize the clearly superior other store.

From recent experience a little more than a year ago, I had decided on particular models of new kitchen appliances and while price comparison was part of my research, schedule was a big factor also to get everything in time for a few weeks of renovation.  So, while I had found slightly better pricing on-line, a local big box was my choice as they could deliver much faster.  Speaking with the sales person I mentioned this, and he gave me 10% off on the spot.

After that favorable experience, I called the same big box to get a quote on replacing my water heater end of last year.  Got their quote, and a local business was a couple hundred dollars less, so I went with small local business.  Big box called me back, following up on the quote - I explained I went with another vendor for less, and the sales woman was very nice and understanding, and also said they would have matched the price, so to be sure and ask for when making any future purchases.

[ladyknight1]

A brand new location of McDonald's opened near my campus. For their grand opening, they had free small coffee all day and a buy one get one free deal on breakfast sandwiches.

They continued that for a week. Now it is free coffee, but not the sandwiches and people are very upset about that. I'm not sure how long a location could stay open and run a profit with a deal like that.

[MissRose]

A brand new location of McDonald's opened near my campus. For their grand opening, they had free small coffee all day and a buy one get one free deal on breakfast sandwiches.

They continued that for a week. Now it is free coffee, but not the sandwiches and people are very upset about that. I'm not sure how long a location could stay open and run a profit with a deal like that.

Some people will never be made happy.... 

[Spring Water on Sundays]

A brand new location of McDonald's opened near my campus. For their grand opening, they had free small coffee all day and a buy one get one free deal on breakfast sandwiches.

They continued that for a week. Now it is free coffee, but not the sandwiches and people are very upset about that. I'm not sure how long a location could stay open and run a profit with a deal like that.

Oh, for the love of Pete.

[JenJay]

A brand new location of McDonald's opened near my campus. For their grand opening, they had free small coffee all day and a buy one get one free deal on breakfast sandwiches.

They continued that for a week. Now it is free coffee, but not the sandwiches and people are very upset about that. I'm not sure how long a location could stay open and run a profit with a deal like that.

Oh, for the love of Pete.

I worked in a grocery store that had a Starbucks in it. For a long time they had a deal where, if you used your store club card, the system would keep track of your purchases and your 10th drink was free. There was a gov't office building within walking distance so a lot of people would come and get coffee at about 7:30am and then again on their lunch breaks. They ended up getting a free drink every Friday at lunch, pretty good deal! After awhile (I don't know how long, the deal started before I worked there) someone in either Starbucks' or the store's corporate office decided to end the deal. We were all bummed but it happens.

You would have thought someone issued a letter specifically to the gov't employees and told them all to go jump off a cliff and take their money with them. They were outraged! They made sure every single Starbucks employee knew how mad they were, how unfair it was, how greedy the company was, and that they wouldn't be back. And they all got in their cars and drove several miles to the next nearest Starbucks rather than literally walk a few doors down to buy from ours.

That lasted a couple of weeks, maybe a month. When their boycott didn't have the financial impact they'd hoped would restore the free deal, and they realized they were not only paying for 10 coffees a week anyway but also gas, they came back. And complained about it again every Friday for a few more weeks. 

[Spring Water on Sundays]

A brand new location of McDonald's opened near my campus. For their grand opening, they had free small coffee all day and a buy one get one free deal on breakfast sandwiches.

They continued that for a week. Now it is free coffee, but not the sandwiches and people are very upset about that. I'm not sure how long a location could stay open and run a profit with a deal like that.

Oh, for the love of Pete.

I worked in a grocery store that had a Starbucks in it. For a long time they had a deal where, if you used your store club card, the system would keep track of your purchases and your 10th drink was free. There was a gov't office building within walking distance so a lot of people would come and get coffee at about 7:30am and then again on their lunch breaks. They ended up getting a free drink every Friday at lunch, pretty good deal! After awhile (I don't know how long, the deal started before I worked there) someone in either Starbucks' or the store's corporate office decided to end the deal. We were all bummed but it happens.

You would have thought someone issued a letter specifically to the gov't employees and told them all to go jump off a cliff and take their money with them. They were outraged! They made sure every single Starbucks employee knew how mad they were, how unfair it was, how greedy the company was, and that they wouldn't be back. And they all got in their cars and drove several miles to the next nearest Starbucks rather than literally walk a few doors down to buy from ours.

That lasted a couple of weeks, maybe a month. When their boycott didn't have the financial impact they'd hoped would restore the free deal, and they realized they were not only paying for 10 coffees a week anyway but also gas, they came back. And complained about it again every Friday for a few more weeks. 

I follow a local news station on facebook, and occasionally they will post a links to coupons for various local businesses.

Every now and then, to access the coupon, you have to download an app on a smartphone, or text in for a coupon code. Oh, the comments section blew up with righteous indignation: What about those of us without smartphones?!?!? What about those of us who don't text?!?!?
 
Well, I guess you can't access this coupon for $1 off a chicken sandwich, then. Better luck next time.

[Coralreef]

I follow a local news station on facebook, and occasionally they will post a links to coupons for various local businesses.

Every now and then, to access the coupon, you have to download an app on a smartphone, or text in for a coupon code. Oh, the comments section blew up with righteous indignation: What about those of us without smartphones?!?!? What about those of us who don't text?!?!?
 
Well, I guess you can't access this coupon for $1 off a chicken sandwich, then. Better luck next time.

I don't have a smartphone and I don't text.  Having to "like" a Facebook page to get a coupon annoys me to high heaven.  So I do without the coupons, freebies and contests.  My lack of modern technology is my choice and I live with it and accept the limitations.  I will still go to the store to buy item X, even if I don't have the 50 cents off.  I consider that a good trade off since my cell phone costs are $100 per year (I have an antique flip phone with no bells and whistles).

[TootsNYC]

Every now and then, to access the coupon, you have to download an app on a smartphone, or text in for a coupon code. Oh, the comments section blew up with righteous indignation: What about those of us without smartphones?!?!? What about those of us who don't text?!?!?
 
Well, I guess you can't access this coupon for $1 off a chicken sandwich, then. Better luck next time.

This reminds me of something similar.

A group of people started the Western Neighborhood Traffic Committee to address problems w/ traffic on the west end of my neighborhood. There was a highway exit/entrance/overpass; lots of crowded shopping areas w/ lots of double parking.

They posted on a neighborhood-oriented listserv about meetings, etc. Someone complained, "Why aren't you tackling Eastern Neighborhood traffic issues? Don't we count? We have traffic problems too!"

The guy who was organizing it replied in a very nice and clever way, essentially saying, "We have started this group for these specific reasons. Please feel free to start your own Eastern Neighborhood Traffic Committee, and spend your own energy on those aspects of it."

[HelenB]

I was going to post about our latest impossible situation at work, but then realized it would take way too much time to explain.

So, instead, this is what the meeting was like:
http://www.collegehumor.com/embed/6961066/how-it-feels-to-be-an-engineer-in-the-corporate-world-sketch

Everyone I've shown this to has said:  I've been in that meeting!