Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 202261 times)

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White Dragon

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1305 on: September 13, 2014, 01:55:18 PM »
My friend is mother to a particularly feisty 2 year old.
She is sweet, loving, incredibly demanding and possessed of an astonishing low cunning.  ;)

Conversation with Daddy:

"Natalie, clean up your toys."
"Natalie, help Louise pick up the mess you two made.'
"Natalie, you need to pick up that toy right there."

Natalie, turns to daddy and beams with innocence "Daddy? You're so cute!"

Nice try kid. Flattery will get you nowhere!


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« Reply #1306 on: September 15, 2014, 05:36:54 AM »
Grandson2 was about 2 1/2 when he hollered TA-DAAA about something.  His mother gave him an evil look and said "Do you know  what we do to little boys who shout TA-DAAAA?" His eyes got big and he said "No..."     :-\      "THIS!" and she grabbed him and gave him about a dozen big, noisy kisses.

He spent the next year or more shouting TA-DAAA for no particular reason at all. ;D

DS does this too.  Usually when he has either left a particularly...interesting gift in our toilet, or finished his food.   ;D
Yesterday DS and I were chatting about where things come from.
Me: Where does milk come from?
DS: Cows!
Me: Yes! Where do eggs come from?
DS: Chickens.
Me: Well done. Where does...cheese come from?
DS: The fridge.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.


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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1307 on: September 15, 2014, 02:36:25 PM »
My oldest is a huge fan of lima beans.  She also eats a lot of peanut butter and jelly because she doesn't seem to like any of the other varieties of sandwich, so if we're having sandwiches for lunch, she ends up with pbj.  She's talked a few times about wanting to try a "lima bean sandwich."  So the other day when she said she didn't know what to make for lunch, I told her I could heat her up some lima beans.  She immediately got excited about trying a sandwich.  Last time I looked, she had them all lined up cutely on her bread, so I knew she'd probably tried it.

Afterwards, I asked her what she thought.  She said, "Well... it wasn't as good as you'd expect it to be!"

No, I wasn't really expecting it to be good, sorry, kid.  :)  (I have wondered if you could mush lima beans and add a bit of oil and salt and make a sort of mash to put on bread... think she'd like that?)


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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1308 on: September 15, 2014, 11:24:55 PM »
My family went to Disney World back in May.  My 5 year old nephew, Wade, met the love of his life there.  He fell hard for Cinderella and will be marrying her some day.  Well, the other day, he informed his mama that he doesn't have to mind her any more.  When told that yes, he in fact does, he protested, "But, Mom, you and Jenmermer (my name is Jennifer, this is how he pronounces it) don't have to mind Nana!"  Sis told him we don't have to mind our mom because we are adults.  Wade then told her, "When I grow up, I am going to get me a boy, and he will have to do what I tell him.  And his mama is going to be my wife, Cinderella, and we are going to live in the castle at Disney World.  So there, Mom!"

So then he got a talking to about talking respectfully to his mom, though she had to try hard not to laugh during that.  Little stinker.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1309 on: September 16, 2014, 12:09:12 PM »
My coworker just told me this one:

She was talking to her 5 year old son.

'How do you spell 'we'?'

He replies, 'W i i'
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.


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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1310 on: September 16, 2014, 02:18:43 PM »
My coworker just told me this one...

Her 4 year old nephew is into cars, like his dad.  He saw a car and heard the name 'Mustang' so asked his mom what it was.  Mom told him it was a car made by Ford.  Little wheels turned, smoke came out his ears...  'Rob Ford, mummy?'

(For those who don't know, Rob Ford is the current, rather infamous, mayor of Toronto.)
Have to say I'm impressed a 4 yo knows who their mayor is.

Loren had just seen Dolphin Tale 2 and is processing why it is ok for Hope and Winter to stay in captivity but Mandy had to be released. (Basically hop and Winter will not survive in the wild).

We are walking in the mall
Loren - So if our bobcat got hurt and couldn't hunt the hogs anymore, it would be ok for the zoo to take care of it. But as long as it is ok it has to be free right?

Me - Yes

Man walking in front of us turns around You have a bobcat like the animal that is illegal. (The guy was stunned and not really rude)

Me - My cousins, sister, and I have inherited an old hobby farm. We have turned it into a wildlife refuge and we have wildlife cameras. The last batch of pictures showed a bobcat on on the property along with hogs, wolves, deer, and raccoon.

Man - where is this

Me - out in Fort Bend

Man - That close - do you all do tours

Me - No basically we just let the land revert to its natural state and have picnics. Other than the squirrels and a couple of snakes we never see the animals when were are down there, so tours wouldn't work.

Man - cool, that is just so cool.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future


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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1311 on: Yesterday at 02:06:57 PM »
We were driving around this weekend, radio is on, and DD (almost 5) is listening to a song.  The song is mostly over when this happens:

DD (with a total "aha!" tone of voice):  This song is fake!  Daddy, do you know how I know this song is fake?
DH: Uh, no, honey, what do you mean it's fake?
DD: Well, well, he said that he used to know how to use the potty, but now he doesn't know.  But he's a grownup! And grownups always know how to use the potty.  So it must be fake.

DH and I were completely flummoxed, til I realized what DD was mis-hearing.
The song was Gotye's "Somebody that I used to know"
DD heard "Some potty that I used to know"


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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1312 on: Yesterday at 04:13:19 PM »
The other day I said "Who's a cutie?" and the littlest pirate says "S'Wiam*" quite factually. :) 


And during church I had to choke back a laugh as I heard him softly singing "'Fish heads, fish heads, wolly wolly fish heads! Fish heads, fish heads eat um up yum!"
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata


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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1313 on: Yesterday at 04:35:19 PM »
Yesterday in church DS moved from the bench to my lap. As he did he passed a little gas. I thought no one had noticed, at the very least we were all quiet and not going to say anything, when he insisted on acknowledgement: "Fart. FART." Very loud and well pronounced. Kid, I'm glad you're learning to speak finally, but that word during church services, really?

It was a children's program, so later several youngsters were taking turns reciting memorized lines at the podium. Apparently the microphone's amplification much louder than one preschooler had estimated; as his voice boomed through the congregation DS screamed and ducked under the pew, hands over ears. The elderly couple behind me about died while silently laughing.