Author Topic: Uh.. ya, don't do that....  (Read 421839 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Mental Magpie

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4830
  • ...for the dark side looks back.
Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #2400 on: August 20, 2012, 02:10:51 PM »
Run a load of wash through the machine with a chapstick in the pocket and then dry the load.  I think this is the fifth time I have done this, and you think I would learn to check my pockets before starting a load, but apparently not.  In my defense I was in a rush to get out the door to run errands Sat morning, because I had a friend coming over for lunch at noon.

I think people who are able to get through an entire tube of chapstick without losing it or ruining it should get prizes.  I issued this challenge to myself and accepted; I still have the tube I got in 2010 (though I've "lost" it and found it a few times, but recently I've kept an eye on it).  I use A LOT of chapstick, so I have something like 4-5 tubes to keep in different places.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Editeer

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 288
Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #2401 on: August 20, 2012, 03:05:31 PM »

I think people who are able to get through an entire tube of chapstick without losing it or ruining it should get prizes.  I issued this challenge to myself and accepted; I still have the tube I got in 2010 (though I've "lost" it and found it a few times, but recently I've kept an eye on it).  I use A LOT of chapstick, so I have something like 4-5 tubes to keep in different places.

A friend of mine used to say that Chapstick was the symbol of eternal life. You never use them up (you lose them first).  :D

Reader

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 634
Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #2402 on: August 20, 2012, 04:11:23 PM »
[
[/quote]

I think people who are able to get through an entire tube of chapstick without losing it or ruining it should get prizes.  I issued this challenge to myself and accepted; I still have the tube I got in 2010 (though I've "lost" it and found it a few times, but recently I've kept an eye on it).  I use A LOT of chapstick, so I have something like 4-5 tubes to keep in different places.
[/quote]

I thought I was the only one addicted to chapstick.  The tube that went through the wash was one of 4-5 that I keep around which is supposed to keep me from keeping in my pocket so I don't end up washing them. 

greencat

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1978
Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #2403 on: August 20, 2012, 04:17:49 PM »
Same thing, but with superglue or a lighter in the pockets instead of chapstick.  That boyfriend got taught to empty his pockets before he put things in the hamper  >:D

Carotte

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 918
Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #2404 on: August 21, 2012, 03:20:07 PM »

I think people who are able to get through an entire tube of chapstick without losing it or ruining it should get prizes.  I issued this challenge to myself and accepted; I still have the tube I got in 2010 (though I've "lost" it and found it a few times, but recently I've kept an eye on it).  I use A LOT of chapstick, so I have something like 4-5 tubes to keep in different places.

A friend of mine used to say that Chapstick was the symbol of eternal life. You never use them up (you lose them first).  :D

the caveat from this is if it happens to be a chapstick that you'll never be able to buy again, then it practically melts before your eyes ( I bought one in Japan that I live, it's Nivea but a scent that is only sold in Japan :( )

To my own body: yeah sure, it was probably a nice sentiment to think that you were doing me a favor by delaying my monthly ladie business by more than 2 weeks, so that I would be free to enjoy my holidays, but holly deity, I don't want to worry like that ever again!*
At least it was before my holiday, having to worry about this while on holiday would have somewhat dampened my spirit even more ><.

* even if there was no reason for it, you never know, there's that crummy 0,1% of chance that they warn you about and all.

Sirius

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9583
  • Stars in my eyes!
Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #2405 on: August 22, 2012, 02:12:52 PM »
Run a load of wash through the machine with a chapstick in the pocket and then dry the load.  I think this is the fifth time I have done this, and you think I would learn to check my pockets before starting a load, but apparently not.  In my defense I was in a rush to get out the door to run errands Sat morning, because I had a friend coming over for lunch at noon.

I've done this a few times as well.  Fortunately, every time I did it the chapstick fell out of the pocket in the washer and we always wash in cold water only, so I still had a useable chapstick and no clothes were ruined.  This also got me some sarcasm from Mr. Sirius, who was doing the laundry that time, because I've reminded him more than once about checking his own pockets.  And, since I'm doing laundry, I'm going to go check my pockets right now, so you did me a favor.

Doll Fiend

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 985
  • The Dolls are in the Garden and in my Head.
Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #2406 on: August 22, 2012, 02:22:34 PM »
No matter how much they itch, don't use a pumice stone on mosquito bites. Yes it felt better in the hot shower but was totally not worth it!

wonderfullyanonymous

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2533
Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #2407 on: August 22, 2012, 09:00:28 PM »

No matter how much they itch, don't use a pumice stone on mosquito bites. Yes it felt better in the hot shower but was totally not worth it!


This goes along with, no matter how bad our toes itch, do not remove your shoe and scratch with your heal until the itching stops. I must say, though, that I can tolerate the pain of the burn caused by the sock more than I can tolerate the itch.

blue2000

  • It is never too late to be what you might have been
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6682
  • Two kitties - No waiting. And no sleeping either.
Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #2408 on: August 23, 2012, 11:38:41 PM »
If you have a nice, (almost) new cell phone with a touchscreen, do not

-juggle it around in your hand (over a rough sidewalk, no less) when you are trying to do other things
-grab the phone with your fingers on the screen when it is on
-try to wipe dust off the phone with your fingers when it is on

My poor slightly scuffed, thoroughly confused phone is now resting after a hard day. :)
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

JonGirl

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4749
  • I'm a JonGirl forever.
    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBAa6CvY-TQ
Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #2409 on: August 24, 2012, 03:00:13 AM »


To my husband: Uh...ya, don't leave coins in your dirty pants because when I go to wash in the laundry, I will go through your pockets and take the money.   >:D   ;D
Stewart/Colbert '16

Midnight Kitty

  • The Queen of Sludge
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3632
    • The Stoddard's Hale
Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #2410 on: August 24, 2012, 02:59:45 PM »

To my husband: Uh...ya, don't leave coins in your dirty pants because when I go to wash in the laundry, I will go through your pockets and take the money.   >:D   ;D
Better than being a money launderer. >:D
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

Doll Fiend

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 985
  • The Dolls are in the Garden and in my Head.
Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #2411 on: August 24, 2012, 04:17:51 PM »


To my husband: Uh...ya, don't leave coins in your dirty pants because when I go to wash in the laundry, I will go through your pockets and take the money.   >:D   ;D

My Dad learned this the hard way when he asked me to do his laundry and I earned $200! Rule was if you were doing laundry and you found money, it was yours. Mom and I made good money till my Dad and two Brothers learned to empty their pockets before putting clothes in the hampers.

vorbau

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1438
  • walking around naked doesn't make you an emperor
Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #2412 on: August 26, 2012, 04:04:10 PM »
It took us 25 years to prove him for the cheap rug liar he is. The wife was a tiny little thing with very little upper body strength, right-hand dominant. The weapon was an enormous .45 Dirty Harry type thing, with an extremely heavy double-action trigger (I couldn't fire the thing using both hands, and I am considered an extremely strong shooter for my size and gender). The fatal wound was in her left upper chest (if you picture her left breast as a clock, with you looking straight at it, the wound was about at 3 o'clock). The weapon was lying on the floor next to the right side of the bed, and her right arm was trailing over the edge of the bed, so that it was supposed to look like she'd fired and then her hand and arm were pulled down by gravity.

When we re-opened the case, we noted: there were NO prints on the gun. There was no GSR on her hands. The bullet had been fired at least 12" away from her chest. Perform the above exercise again: Make your right hand into a gun. Point it straight at the 3 o'clock point on your left breast, not deviating up, down, left or right - it was a straight through-and-through. Now move your hand back so that the muzzle is at least 12" away from that point. Don't dislocate your elbow in the process.

Please miss I have a question about the position of the wound.  I might be picturing it wrong, was the wound in the middle of the chest or near her left hand side?

Sorry for the late reply on this one - I had to go back and check the photos! Which is a good thing, because I apparently can't tell time when it's a human body clock...

If you are looking straight at a woman and you picture her breasts as clock faces, the wound was where the "9" (not 3, my bad) would be on the left br...uh, clock face.

It is definitely possible to shoot yourself in that location with a weapon in your right hand. What made it impossible in this case, however, were the following facts:

1. It was not a contact wound (the muzzle of the gun was not in contact with her skin when the gun was fired) and the stippling (pattern of deposit of gunpowder, soot and other schmutz secondary to firing) made it clear that the weapon had been no closer to her skin than 10" when fired and more probably was at least 12" away. Pretend your right hand is a gun, with your index finger forming the barrel. Place the tip of your index finger at that "9" position on your left breast. Now move your arm and hand away from your body so that the tip of your finger is at least 10" away from that spot on your chest. Write me if you manage to do so without dislocating your elbow.

2. There were no fingerprints on the gun, not even the victim's. If, as the scene had been staged to look, she had shot herself and the gun had fallen from her hand to the floor, there would be at least partial prints or smudges from her hands on it.

3. There was no gunshot residue on her hands or arms - the chemicals that are inevitably deposited on you when you fire a gun, from the burning gunpowder, escaping gases, and so on. If she had fired any sort of firearm within about 48 hours of her death, traces of GSR would have been found.

3. The gun was so large and had such a heavy trigger that a witness was able to testify that the wife could not fire it even when using both hands (ex-friend of the husband's who used to go shooting with them). This witness also testified that the wife was petrified of guns and would not willingly handle or even go near one, and that when her husband made her shoot one she would be so scared she would burst into tears.

4. The victim's sister testified that the victim did not know how to open the gun safe where the husband's weapons were kept.

So, he gets to do double forever in Leavenworth (first degree murder and conspiracy to commit same). I believe the rocks are lovely there this time of year.
Let's roll. (And you can't scare me; I've had teenagers.)

vorbau

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1438
  • walking around naked doesn't make you an emperor
Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #2413 on: August 26, 2012, 04:13:06 PM »
Please don't, if you are a member of a professional class I am teaching, feel obligated to attend the "last night" party/dinner.

If you do, please don't be tempted to show me exactly how much alcohol you can drink. I've seen drunks before; they're no novelty.

If you do decide to get knee-walkin' drunk, please don't proposition me in a loud, slurred, profane manner, using terms that would cause a sailor to blush. (I know. There was one present.)

When I refuse, gently pointing out that I am married as well as the instructor, please do not become even more foul-mouthed and resort to sexist and ethnic put-downs, such as implying that I do not *play scrabble* with men who are not of *my particular spiritual persuasion* and that I can't stop you from doing all this because *I am just a female.*

Because I will reply, loudly enough to be heard throughout the restaurant, that I turned you down because I don't *play scrabble* with people not of my species and that I do not intend to let you investigate my undergarments because there is already one bacon-fed knave in there. I will then get you in a wrist lock despite the fact that you are a foot taller, several beer bellies heavier, and multiple percentage points more intoxicated.

I will also allow the arresting officer to take you to jail still wearing my brand new, shiny, bright PINK handcuffs. And I will accept the souvenir photographs taken of you wearing same.

I hereby deny any responsibility for whatever anyone else present during this incident may have done with their copies of these photographs, noting only that the arresting officer is obliged by department police to attach copies to the official and the supervisor's copies of the arrest report.

I wish you very good luck in your future career. I am fairly certain that if it involves uniforms, it will also involve saying "Do you want to supersize that?"
Let's roll. (And you can't scare me; I've had teenagers.)

Elfmama

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5707
  • Is it Spring yet?
Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #2414 on: August 26, 2012, 04:31:26 PM »
*Elfmama chortles in glee at a new Vorbau story and passes it on to her husband.*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I don't go crazy.  I AM crazy.  I sometimes go normal. 
Please make a note of this for future reference.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~