Be very cautious when discussing potential vacation plans where you can be overheard by TPTB.
Casually discussing plans with two colleagues in the gym while working out, I was forced to raise my voice to be heard over the sound of the treadmills and ellipticals. And was just explaining that we might, come spring, go to visit a country where DH was a naval advisor (think lots of sand and men in full-length skirts). Colleague A asked if DH did or still does speak the language, and I replied that he remembers some but I'm Level 4 fluent, so it won't be a problem. Colleague B then said "Better not say that where (Deputy Director) can hear you - he's looking for deployment volunteers!"
Just as Deputy Director stepped up on the treadmill next to mine, having overheard all of the above as well as my fervent and more than a little off-color description of what I would do rather than be deployed again.
Deputy Director asked me to have lunch with him after our work-outs. Thus, faster than you can say "Bacon-fed knave," I find that I am being deployed again. I am leaving this week, and will be back sometime (hopefully sometime soon) after the first of the year.
Before I leave, I am dyeing my hair to its natural dark auburn in the hope that when the dark roots start growing out, they will be less noticeable than during my previous deployment, thus avoiding the possibility of again coloring my hair with donkey dung. To be safe, I am packing a spare coloring kit. Along with extra socks, body armor and three pounds of powdered lemon juice.
On the up side (and I'm kinda straining at a gnat here) I'll be able to celebrate the most important holidays of my faith in the approximate geographic location in which they were invented. I plan also, if I have any spare time, to see if I can confirm the theory that the original members of my faith wandered in no-man's land for so long because they were being led by a guy who didn't have GPS and refused to stop to ask directions.
I don't know what Internet access I will have, but rest assured I will be thinking of all of you - and saving up any and all gross-out bits that come my way!