Uh.. ya, don't do that....

[Diane AKA Traska]

'Hit by a Mack truck' is a common expression in my parts for getting/feeling run over in some fashion, whether it is the linebacker tackling the quarterback in a football game or a massive hang over from drinking far too much.  So in this case, 'literally' is correct:  Her vehicle was hit by a Mack truck when she was crossing the highway.  And became one of the reasons the highway interchange was finally upgraded to a overpass.  Parents were worried that a busload of kids was going to be creamed next.

I respect your use of the language enough to know that you mean what you mean when you say 'literally'. (That's a compliment.)

Oh, so do I.  But the idea of being literally hit by a "Mac" truck was too funny a visual not to share!

[Outdoor Girl]

Yes, it did make me giggle, too, but your second post confused me regarding my use of the word 'literally'.  It's all good!   

[violinp]

When you're getting an umbrella for your cleaning lady...make sure it won't fly apart outside in the rain. 

[hobish]

I think people who are able to get through an entire tube of chapstick without losing it or ruining it should get prizes.  I issued this challenge to myself and accepted; I still have the tube I got in 2010 (though I've "lost" it and found it a few times, but recently I've kept an eye on it).  I use A LOT of chapstick, so I have something like 4-5 tubes to keep in different places.

I thought I was the only one addicted to chapstick.  The tube that went through the wash was one of 4-5 that I keep around which is supposed to keep me from keeping in my pocket so I don't end up washing them.

4-5? How do you live? I keep one or two at my desk, at least 2 in my purse, one in every purse and jacket i own - even the ones not being used, so they will be there when i do use it - one in the nightstand, one in the spare room ... and a few extra just for good measure. My lates favorite is bacon flavored. MMmmmmm...

I give you Lip Balm Anonymous, which i had almost forgotten about, but is one of the funniest sites ever if you are a lip balm addict: http://www.lipbalmanonymous.com/

Edited to fix quote tags. I quoted using the quote feature. I don't know why it didn't work properly.

[vorbau]

Be very cautious when discussing potential vacation plans where you can be overheard by TPTB.

Casually discussing plans with two colleagues in the gym while working out, I was forced to raise my voice to be heard over the sound of the treadmills and ellipticals. And was just explaining that we might, come spring, go to visit a country where DH was a naval advisor (think lots of sand and men in full-length skirts). Colleague A asked if DH did or still does speak the language, and I replied that he remembers some but I'm Level 4 fluent, so it won't be a problem. Colleague B then said "Better not say that where (Deputy Director) can hear you - he's looking for deployment volunteers!"

Just as Deputy Director stepped up on the treadmill next to mine, having overheard all of the above as well as my fervent and more than a little off-color description of what I would do rather than be deployed again.

Deputy Director asked me to have lunch with him after our work-outs. Thus, faster than you can say "Bacon-fed knave," I find that I am being deployed again. I am leaving this week, and will be back sometime (hopefully sometime soon) after the first of the year.

Before I leave, I am dyeing my hair to its natural dark auburn in the hope that when the dark roots start growing out, they will be less noticeable than during my previous deployment, thus avoiding the possibility of again coloring my hair with donkey dung. To be safe, I am packing a spare coloring kit. Along with extra socks, body armor and three pounds of powdered lemon juice.

On the up side (and I'm kinda straining at a gnat here) I'll be able to celebrate the most important holidays of my faith in the approximate geographic location in which they were invented. I plan also, if I have any spare time, to see if I can confirm the theory that the original members of my faith wandered in no-man's land for so long because they were being led by a guy who didn't have GPS and refused to stop to ask directions. 

I don't know what Internet access I will have, but rest assured I will be thinking of all of you - and saving up any and all gross-out bits that come my way!

Vorbau

[readingchick]

I look forward to reading about your delightfully gross stories when you return, vorbau! They always make my day!

[lady_disdain]

Safe travels, Vorbau! And maybe your story will finally teach me to keep my big mouth shut!

[Elfmama]

Stay safe, Vorbau. DH says to remember that any day you wake up on TOP of the dirt instead of UNDER it is a good day.

[vorbau]

Stay safe, Vorbau. DH says to remember that any day you wake up on TOP of the dirt instead of UNDER it is a good day.

I am going to needlepoint this onto a pillow while I'm deployed.

My own fault, really, not only for not keeping my mouth shut but for letting it be known that I not only speak this particular language but three others historically linked to this particular area. And for qualifying as a FAO (Foreign Area Officer) in a burst of something-or-other after 9/11. Gah. What was I thinking (we need a headsmack icon)?!@@#!

On the positive side, I get to go armed AND I get to shoot back! And the weather won't be real awful ...

[Black Delphinium]

Stay safe, Vorbau. DH says to remember that any day you wake up on TOP of the dirt instead of UNDER it is a good day.

I am going to needlepoint this onto a pillow while I'm deployed.

My own fault, really, not only for not keeping my mouth shut but for letting it be known that I not only speak this particular language but three others historically linked to this particular area. And for qualifying as a FAO (Foreign Area Officer) in a burst of something-or-other after 9/11. Gah. What was I thinking (we need a headsmack icon)?!@@#!

On the positive side, I get to go armed AND I get to shoot back! And the weather won't be real awful ...

If you get a chance, let us know and maybe we can send care packages in exchange for handwritten accounts of anything funny that happens while you're away. 

[EmmaJ.]

Oh Vorbau, be careful, be safe, and know you are in our thoughts and prayers.  I second the idea of care packages!

[Morticia]

Yes, Vorbau. Please be safe. We will miss you terribly.

[violinp]

Be safe, Vorbau. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

[VorFemme]

Stay safe, Vorbau. DH says to remember that any day you wake up on TOP of the dirt instead of UNDER it is a good day.

I am going to needlepoint this onto a pillow while I'm deployed.

My own fault, really, not only for not keeping my mouth shut but for letting it be known that I not only speak this particular language but three others historically linked to this particular area. And for qualifying as a FAO (Foreign Area Officer) in a burst of something-or-other after 9/11. Gah. What was I thinking (we need a headsmack icon)?!@@#!

On the positive side, I get to go armed AND I get to shoot back! And the weather won't be real awful ...

There's unlikely to be six feet of snow anywhere around you.....

But watch out for the donkeys - especially the dead ones.

[snowfire]

...and the geep. 

Stay safe & come back with many new stories for us!