Uh.. ya, don't do that....

[Reader]

When cleaning up the kitchen (which I shouldn't had to since I haven't used it all week, been eating take out lately, and it's my 2 roomates mess but I was was making something and I require at least one clean counter top to work on) take a knife with plastic handle that had been left on the stove (not on thankfully) but in frustration I went to toss it on the counter above the dishwasher where dirty dishes are supposed to be put, only to find out I threw it so well it actually stuck in the wall at the tip.  So now I has a small nick in my wall.  The funny thing was if I had tried to do that on purpose I could have tried 50 times with no success.

[ladyknight1]

When you do not live alone, always always check the oven before turning it on.

DH sticks things in the oven often to get them out of the way, and we have melted too many spatulas already. 

[Sophia]

When you do not live alone, always always check the oven before turning it on.

DH sticks things in the oven often to get them out of the way, and we have melted too many spatulas already. 

Mine is at least smart enough to not put anything melty in there.  But it is quite annoying to have to remove hot pans from the oven before loading lasagna.  Although, the pizza stone does live there, and seems to benefit almost everything. 

[Thipu1]

When you do not live alone, always always check the oven before turning it on.

DH sticks things in the oven often to get them out of the way, and we have melted too many spatulas already. 

Oh, yes, yes, yes. 

Mr. Thipu will put oven-safe dishes or metal bowls back into the oven after he's finished washing them because the cooling oven means he doesn't have to dry them. 

Over the years I've learned that I must clean everything out of the oven before pre-heating it.  I've had some nasty, hot surprises in the past.

[greencat]

My parents used to have to check the oven every time - my brother and I were far too short to reach the controls on the back, so they'd let us play with the completely cool oven, pretending to cook things in it.  We baked a lot of socks and dishtowels!

I should have checked that the fork I grabbed out of the utensil drawer wasn't a piece of plastic picnicware that had been dumped out of the box - since I was using the fork to pull out the rack in the 400 degree toaster oven.  Plastic fork got melty.

Similarly, but not on the same occasion,  I should not have used the ragged dishtowel as a potholder to pull the aforementioned rack out of the hot toaster oven, as the strings off the frayed ends were evidently saturated in something flammable and caught on fire when they brushed against the heating element.

However, I do think it was a wise idea at that point for my mother to ban me from attempting to operate the toaster oven.

[Gwywnnydd]

I just remembered on from a friend of mine.

When winterizing a motorcycle (specifically, a race motorcycle), do Not drain the fuel tank (full of race gas) into the jar marked 'kerosene', and tell yourself that you don't need to relabel it. Of course you will remember that it's not kerosene.

When, three months later, you have pulled together a large brush pile that needs to be burned, and you've just doused it with the contents of the jar marked kerosene, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL YOU HOLD HOLY don't just shrug it off if you find yourself thinking "that kerosene smells a bit funny".

The resulting explosion rattled the windows of the ranch house, an acre and a half away. Which alerted his wife that something stupid had just happened.

My friend was not badly burned (as defined by 'requires hospitalization'). But he did raise the eyebrows of the ER triage nurse...

[Slartibartfast]

Not really a "don't do that," but it's on topic    We've got an oven mitt that stunk.  You could hold a hot pan for about a second and a half before "that's warm" turned to "owowOWOW!"  Yesterday's realization: it's right-handed!  If you use it with your left hand, there's no effective padding between your hand and the pan.  If you use it right-handed, the volume of the padding is the same, but it's actually an insulator instead of a conductor.  What idiot designed an oven mitt that looks like it can be used either way and then only put insulation one side, I don't know, but it's a lot more effective now!

[alkira6]

Not really a "don't do that," but it's on topic    We've got an oven mitt that stunk.  You could hold a hot pan for about a second and a half before "that's warm" turned to "owowOWOW!"  Yesterday's realization: it's right-handed!  If you use it with your left hand, there's no effective padding between your hand and the pan.  If you use it right-handed, the volume of the padding is the same, but it's actually an insulator instead of a conductor.  What idiot designed an oven mitt that looks like it can be used either way and the only put insulation one side, I don't know, but it's a lot more effective now!

...And suddenly it all makes sense now...

[Hazmat]

Not really a "don't do that," but it's on topic    We've got an oven mitt that stunk.  You could hold a hot pan for about a second and a half before "that's warm" turned to "owowOWOW!"  Yesterday's realization: it's right-handed!  If you use it with your left hand, there's no effective padding between your hand and the pan.  If you use it right-handed, the volume of the padding is the same, but it's actually an insulator instead of a conductor.  What idiot designed an oven mitt that looks like it can be used either way and the only put insulation one side, I don't know, but it's a lot more effective now!

...And suddenly it all makes sense now...

Could really go in the brain-hurt thread also.

[Dazi]

For the love of all that is holy, do not, I repeat, do not eat 3 servings of coleslaw and 2 Activia yogurts within the same 24 hour period.

My DH laughed at me and even the cats vacated the bathroom area...intestines can and do revolt with this combo, but they are squeaky clean.

[snowfire]

  Can't help but laugh at this one. 

If you are chopping onions and jalepenos, DON'T forget to put on your "onion goggles".  Also, for all that is holy, DO NOT touch your face or eyes until you have washed your hands at least three or four HUNDRED times.

(I have an old pair of swim goggles that I usually use when I am chopping onions.  I forgot them this time.    But the salsa is delicious!

ETA: Next time I'm wearing surgical gloves!  I rubbed my eye this morning when I woke up and it BURNED!!!!!  Also, I must have had a hangnail or some tiny split in the skin in one finger.  That finger is still stinging. 

[Sirius]

I made some peanut butter chocolate fudge that's delicious.  However...

1.  If cooking and stacking bowls in the sink, don't fill them with water unless they're on a flat surface.  One of the bowls that was balanced on top of something else, full of sticky water, upended its contents all over the counter and the kitchen floor.

2.  Use a pan with high sides to melt the butter and brown sugar.  I used a small frying pain today because the pan I usually use was in the sink, and it's a good thing I watched it carefully and caught it before it boiled all over the stove top.

Edited to add: 

Here's the recipe

http://www.yummly.com/recipe/external/Easiest-Peanut-Butter-Fudge-Allrecipes

I added 1/4 cup powdered cocoa, and it was so good!

If you like thin fudge, as we do, this makes two 8 x 8 pans.

[JonGirl]

For the love of all that is holy, do not, I repeat, do not eat 3 servings of coleslaw and 2 Activia yogurts within the same 24 hour period.

My DH laughed at me and even the cats vacated the bathroom area...intestines can and do revolt with this combo, but they are squeaky clean.

Ew and don't ever drink strawberry milk and then eat a green apple straight after. My son did this at a football game and I'll tell you, I'd hate to be the people in front of us that night.

[mechtilde]

Stay safe, Vorbau.  I read even your grossest posts with relish.

As a side dish, or drizzled on top?  (sorry, couldn't help myself there)

Here's a parting shot in this category: If you're going to burn incriminating documents in your backyard hibachi, do a good job of it - make sure all the bits are burned completely, then pound them to powder. Because, messy and annoying though it is, we can piece together a good bit of your paperwork when you make a half-baked (snicker) job of that, as you did of your original crime. And no, you may not wear my pink handcuffs to jail as a fashion statement. (Idiot was selling classified information to what he believed was a sympathizer of a perennially problem country. Purchaser was from said country, but was merely a sleazeball with no official connections, hoping to use the info for his own criminal pursuits. Bottom line: no harm to national security except from time spent giggling by government employees, one jailbird, and one deportee heading back to what may be the most unpleasant prison system in this hemisphere. A nice sendoff for me!)

Of course there's nothing new in this-

Flavius Cerealis, prefect of a cohort at the Roman fort of Vindolanda, needed to have some documents destroyed. Whoever was supposed to be doing it let the fire go out before all the thin wooden tablets had burned. They are now some of the most important artefacts from the Roman period- leading to my favourite book dedication of all time, in the front of one of an archaeology report.

"Dedicated to the household staff of Flavius Cerealis, without whose incompetence this book would never have been written."

[bopper]

Run a load of wash through the machine with a chapstick in the pocket and then dry the load.  I think this is the fifth time I have done this, and you think I would learn to check my pockets before starting a load, but apparently not.  In my defense I was in a rush to get out the door to run errands Sat morning, because I had a friend coming over for lunch at noon.

I've done this a few times as well.  Fortunately, every time I did it the chapstick fell out of the pocket in the washer and we always wash in cold water only, so I still had a useable chapstick and no clothes were ruined.  This also got me some sarcasm from Mr. Sirius, who was doing the laundry that time, because I've reminded him more than once about checking his own pockets.  And, since I'm doing laundry, I'm going to go check my pockets right now, so you did me a favor.

Why do you need to put chapstick in your pocket when their is one in your purse, your drawer at work, in the car and on your nightstand???