Uh.. ya, don't do that....

[Midnight Kitty]

I used to date a guy who rented a room in his condo to his cousin.  The 3 of us decided to go out to pizza one Friday night.  This particular pizzeria makes a special roast garlic pizza.  Yep, just sauce, cheese, and a ton of roast garlic.  It was delicious.  We spent the whole weekend together, probably so no one who wasn't under the influence of roast garlic pizza would catch a whiff.  By Sunday afternoon, we couldn't believe that we still reeked of garlic.  We washed all 3 of our cars trying to sweat it out of our system.  That effort was moderately successful.  At least we got clean cars out of it.  No one else could smell the garlic on our bodies as they passed by, but none of us would have passed the armpit test so we didn't let anyone sniff our armpits.

Is that a little hole-in-the-wall pizza place in Hilo?  I met DH in Hawaii on his way back from Australia. (Business trip.  I used his frequent flyer points, so airfare for me was only $25!) He brought back a nose-drizzling Australian cold, and promptly gave it to me.  We found this teeny little pizza place in Hilo and ordered the garlic pizza.  There must have been most of a bulb of garlic on this medium pizza.  We ate all of it, and the next morning, the score was Hawaiian garlic 2 - Australian cold virus 0.

It was before I moved to Hawaii.  The pizzeria was in Palo Alto, CA.

I'll be lookin' for that hole-in-the-wall pizza place next time I visit Hilo.

When we have sinus congestion or feel a cold coming on, we'll eat Thai or Cambodian food.  We have our favorite restaurants where they know us.  DH likes his food spicier than I do, so we usually get "hot."  One time DH decided he wanted to try "Thai hot."  The waitress, who knows what we usually have, checked twice - Are you sure?  When the Thai hot deep-fried calamari arrived, I could not eat it.  It was so hot!  DH ate the whole entree with sweat pouring off his brow.  The waitresses were watching and laughing.  I tried eating rice to neutralize the chili, but I still couldn't swallow.

Uh ... yeah, don't order "Thai hot" unless you really like spicy food.

[Snooks]

I learned the hard way not to carry a bowl of chili from the kitchen, thru the dining room, to the living room in a hurry to watch something on TV.  Oh my, the wall, the ceiling, my nice bathrobe.  Not pretty.  I’m lucky I didn’t hurt myself. 

(I forgot the lesson I learned doing something similar with a bowl of chocolate ice cream.)

I learned something similar with a bowl of chicken noodle soup...the wall, the ceiling, the window, the refrigerator, the dog treats, the dog food, the cupboards (it was a hallway opening into part of the kitchen).  I feel your pain.

Mine was chicken noodles, microwave on top of the refrigerator, boiling water down my face.

[crankycat]

If you are not going to screw the lid down all the way on a container, at the very least don't try to carry it back to the fridge by grabbing said lid.  Did you know that the plastic mayo jars bounce and that mayo is very difficult to clean off the ceiling?

[mmswm]

If you are not going to screw the lid down all the way on a container, at the very least don't try to carry it back to the fridge by grabbing said lid.  Did you know that the plastic mayo jars bounce and that mayo is very difficult to clean off the ceiling?

Okay, I know this is going to sound nuts, but spray the mayo stains down with WD-40, wipe it away, then follow up with the degreaser of your choice.

Ask me how I know this works...

[wonderfullyanonymous]

In my BFFs kitchen, I have cut myself opening a can, sprayed mustard all over when I opened a bottle of it after shaking it, and covered myself with ketchup when I shook it after forgetting to close the bottle.

[Bluenomi]

DH, for some unknown reason, decided my jumbo bottle of conditioner needed a shake before he put it on the belt at the supermarket. Turns out the kid wasn't on right and it went everywhere. So we ended up having to clean him, the belt, the trolley, the floor, etc with a huge line behind us giggling at every moment. Sigh

[mmswm]

DH, for some unknown reason, decided my jumbo bottle of conditioner needed a shake before he put it on the belt at the supermarket. Turns out the kid wasn't on right and it went everywhere. So we ended up having to clean him, the belt, the trolley, the floor, etc with a huge line behind us giggling at every moment. Sigh

Wow!  So that's where kids come from! 

[Bluenomi]

DH, for some unknown reason, decided my jumbo bottle of conditioner needed a shake before he put it on the belt at the supermarket. Turns out the kid wasn't on right and it went everywhere. So we ended up having to clean him, the belt, the trolley, the floor, etc with a huge line behind us giggling at every moment. Sigh

Wow!  So that's where kids come from! 

Doh! I can't type today     

[mmswm]

We all have those days.  I still tease my father about having to "dulge the babysitter", and that autocorrect was quite some time ago.  For the record, he was telling me I would "need to baby" the door handle of my car because it was broken and it would be a few days before I could get to his house where he had the tools for me to borrow and be able to fix it.

[gramma dishes]

We all have those days.  I still tease my father about having to "dulge the babysitter", and that autocorrect was quite some time ago.  For the record, he was telling me I would "need to baby" the door handle of my car because it was broken and it would be a few days before I could get to his house where he had the tools for me to borrow and be able to fix it.

That's good, because I'm pretty sure that dulging babysitters is against the law!   

[Softly Spoken]

I learned this one from my brother:

If you have just upgraded your glasses to the flexible wire frame...don't show off to your sister how flexible they are by twisting them completely around.

It went something like this:

Bro: Yeah, they are really awesome! Look how far I can twist them around without them break-- *SNAP*
Me:    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Bro:    _{Shut. Up.}
Me: *hee hee hee heeee*

Ya, don't do that!

[Layla Miller]

I had a glass of chocolate milk with lunch today.  This was not the problem.  I ate my lunch in the living room so that I could keep an eye on my 7-month-old DD while she played on the floor.  Also not the problem.  The problem came when I took a drink of the chocolate milk, and then set it back on the end table next to me on the couch.

Well, I set it halfway on the end table.  Turns out the glass prefers to have its whole self on the table, or else it unends itself onto the couch in protest.

I now sit with a change of pants, a scrubbed-down couch, and two pillows in the washing machine downstairs.  But no chocolate milk.

You know, I'm pretty sure my mother told me not to drink chocolate milk in the living room for exactly this reason.  I don't think I'll tell her about this. 

[ladyknight1]

My husband has learned before that eating cereal during one's commute is not a wise choice. That lesson was reinforced today.

Also, check the lid on one's coffee cup, before holding it precariously in one hand or one's clothing will be decorated with hot coffee. Yep, that one too.

[greencat]

Don't try to make your convention costume out of metal pieces/JB Weld, when you know very well you're allergic to metal.  The resulting welts will be unsightly and the costume assembly process will be a waste of money (well, sort of - some parts of it worked out okay.)

[White Dragon]

When walking down a set of concrete stairs, don't miss the step and tumble ankle-over-teakettle down several steps.

I am now limping with a massive bruise on my thigh and assorted scrapes, bumps and bangs.
Mrph.