Uh.. ya, don't do that....

[kherbert05]

They tell you to never wrap a lead line around your hand when you're leading a horse.  They tell you it can result in disastrous things if the horse decides to bolt.  What they don't tell you is that if it happens on a much smaller scale, let's say with 2 large dogs, hilarious things can result, too.

I actually didn't mean to get the dog leashes (my mom's dogs, not mine) wrapped around my hand.  They were jumping around so much, excited to see me, that I was more concerned about getting their leashes on and getting them out of our friend's house.  I got both leashes in one hand, a tangled mess, and pushed open the door in a hurry.  I was trying to say bye to the kids, my muscles braced against the taut leashes, but the dogs only had eyes for my mom.

They pulled, I dug my heals in a little, trying not to slip on the wet grass as I waved with my free hand.  They relented momentarily, doubling back towards me in their excitement, trying to figure out who they were more excited to see.  Not a second later they dug in and charged towards my mom.

I, instead, flew.

I swear it was just like the movies: the slow motion dog gallop, tongues flapping in the breeze, I partially vertical, arms outstretched, no connection to the ground but the intense urge to kiss it with my entire face.

I did manage to untangle the leashes from my mangled pinky as I limped towards the car, but by then my mom had already unclipped their leashes.  I'm still not sure how she managed to do that between laughing and gasping for air to continue laughing.  In her defense, I was laughing, too.  Despite a nicely purple and broken pinky, I found the entire thing quite hilarious.  In fact I still do.  I will, however, make sure I have on leash in each hand.  I think had it been just one dog, I would not have had such an intense urge to fly.

You got off lucky. Sis decided to walk our aunt's dog that we were dog sitting. She had been told he was too untrained (new puppy aunt had a family emergency her dogs were all very very well trained) and she was too small. She wrapped the leash around her hand and got drug down a good 1/4 of our street before some other kids collectively were able to restrain the dog. Who promptly started to lick them to death. They were standing in the street screaming for help (they were afraid Bridey would take off again if one of them let go)-- sis was laying on the street bleeding from road rash.


Mrs. Crabgrass* came out and started screaming at the kids for screaming and for sis bleeding on "her street". Thankfully other neighbors responded to the screams for help and sent Mrs. Crabgrass inside and got my parents to take care of the dog and Sis. This wasn't the first time Mrs. Crabgrass yelled at sis for bleeding. The other time sis ran into her mail box and knocked out a tooth.


*Not her real name - she was so named by us for acting like Sam and Darrin's neighbor lady on Bewitched because she was always in everyone's business. We honestly thought that was the character's name.

[Swizzled]

If you happen to get a blanket caught up in your recliner chair when you get up do not stand in front of the chair and pull on it.  The chair will spring open and the footrest will whack you across both shins causing you to curl into a small whimpering ball and leave you with egg sized lumps on your legs for the next few weeks.

[Luci45]

Mrs. Crabgrass*

*Not her real name - she was so named by us for acting like Sam and Darrin's neighbor lady on Bewitched because she was always in everyone's business. We honestly thought that was the character's name.

Gladys Kravitz, but it translates well!

A great story!

[Sophia]

...I ended up leaving the bag of dog food in the car, putting away the fridge and freezer groceries, and leaving everything else on the floor in the bags until I either got a nap or DH came home.

You don't do this every grocery trip? 

[Slartibartfast]

...I ended up leaving the bag of dog food in the car, putting away the fridge and freezer groceries, and leaving everything else on the floor in the bags until I either got a nap or DH came home.

You don't do this every grocery trip?

I usually time my grocery shopping so DH is home for lunch about when I get home - then I can make him carry the groceries into the house 

[ladyknight1]

Using your resources wisely. 

[KimberlyM]

If you decide that getting a bike and riding it to and from work everyday is a brilliant plan that will both help you reach your weight loss goal and save money on gas, do not decide, knowing it is 8 miles round trip, to just jump right in and go for it.  A few shorter trips before the trek to work would have been a good plan...

[greencat]

If you decide that getting a bike and riding it to and from work everyday is a brilliant plan that will both help you reach your weight loss goal and save money on gas, do not decide, knowing it is 8 miles round trip, to just jump right in and go for it.  A few shorter trips before the trek to work would have been a good plan...

POD, even if the round trip is much much shorter!

[White Dragon]

If you decide that getting a bike and riding it to and from work everyday is a brilliant plan that will both help you reach your weight loss goal and save money on gas, do not decide, knowing it is 8 miles round trip, to just jump right in and go for it.  A few shorter trips before the trek to work would have been a good plan...

POD, even if the round trip is much much shorter!

Or biking one way on those teeny-tiny bike seats and then realizing that you now have to (whimper) ride home on your newly tenderized back-side! 

Not that I have personal knowledge of such a dilema or anything...

[mmswm]

If you have to go to the doctor because of your injured foot and you drive a stick shift, do not give up meekly when trying to get either an extra driver or get somebody to allow you to borrow a car with an automatic transmission. If you go to the doctor with only your child who will be 14 the next day, the doctor might give you a nerve block shot in your left foot, preventing you from being able to feel it to the point where you're pretty much guessing on whether or not the clutch is even depressed, let alone fully engaged. You will get so frustrated that after you get off the major roads, and onto the back, country roads that you will allow your will-be-14-year-old-tomorrow to finish driving you home.

Note: We lived in North Dakota for a number of years, where the minimum driving age is 14 for a learners and 14.5 for a regular permit on "real" roads.  The minimum driving age on farms is 12, and said child learned how to drive 2 years ago on a friend's farm.

[saffron]

Don't go straight from a longer-than-average workout at the Y to an extensive restock-the-kitchen-after-vacation grocery shopping trip with both kids in tow.  Because all the kiddie carts will be gone, so you'll have to put the baby in the cart and make the toddler walk, and then you'll have to do twice as much walking in the store to track down your toddler after she keeps going to the other end of the aisle to check out the chocolate frosted sugar bomb section of the breakfast cereals.  And when you get home you'll be too exhausted to feel your feet, much less put the groceries away, and both girls will be screaming (inspired by each other).

I ended up leaving the bag of dog food in the car, putting away the fridge and freezer groceries, and leaving everything else on the floor in the bags until I either got a nap or DH came home.

LOL! Great mental picture - love the C&H reference

[missanpan]

Before you throw your water bottle onto the front seat of your car, make sure you the cap is on the bottle and not in your other hand. Sigh.

[cwm]

Don't choke on your amoretto sour. If you do, don't run past one sink to try to get to another. When the liquor gets into your sinuses from coughing, it really hurts. And when everyone else points out the sink you ran by (in a home you frequent regularly and know where it is) it'll only start you laughing again, which will set off the coughing.

My sinuses have been killing me since Saturday night because of it.

[dawbs]

Don't choke on your amoretto sour. If you do, don't run past one sink to try to get to another. When the liquor gets into your sinuses from coughing, it really hurts. And when everyone else points out the sink you ran by (in a home you frequent regularly and know where it is) it'll only start you laughing again, which will set off the coughing.

My sinuses have been killing me since Saturday night because of it.

Also a good reason not to make someone have a martini come out the nose.
Ow.

[KimberlyM]

Don't change hair color brands to save a few bucks.  Loreal's auburn is fine...turns out Garnier Nutrisse's auburn is from their "colors not found in nature" line.  I look like a clown!  Luckily based on the fact it's been 3 days and the color is still leaching on to my towel and the fact that reds seem to fade quickly, I shouldn't have to deal with it too long!