Uh.. ya, don't do that....

[Snooks]

Poor Misty having a strange lady comment on her figure.  I bet she's beautiful.

[snowfire]

A friend told this one today.  Yes, alcohol in large quantities was involved.

His fraternity house in college had a cannon on the front lawn.  Not sure why, but it was a still functional cannon, not a decorative piece which had been filled with concrete.

Some o the frat guys got the bright idea to fire of said cannon.  The somehow got a baggie of black powder.  Then many heads were scratched as they tried to think of what to load the cannon with as a projectile...For some unknown reason they decided that cut off chunks of rebar from a nearby construction site would be a good idea. 

They loaded the cannon with the powder and the rebar and fired it off.  Lots of sharp steel projectiles exited the barrel at high velocity.  Apparently at least one pierced a nearby building and ended up in the showers, others went through parked cars.  Fortunately, no one was injured.  I don't know if anyone got expelled, but the cannon was immediately removed from the fraternity.

[White Dragon]

When your spouse is shopping and calls home to ask you to check the freezer to see if you are out of something, by all means put the phone down and check the freezer.

It's also okay to dig around and do a thorough inventory.

Do not, however,  go "Ooh, look - frozen cream puffs!"
Definitely do not give in to impulse and pop some into your mouth.

Frozen cream puffs are very hard to chew.
They are especially hard to chew quickly.
Having a mouthful of frozen, unchewable cream puff makes it very hard to communicate clearly to your spouse over the phone. You end up sounding rather foolish.

[lady_disdain]

If you decide to take your morning tea on one of the tiny, adorable, Japanese tea cups, don't rely on muscle memory to know when to stop pouring. Yes, you always fill your morning mug perfectly while reading e-hell. But that is a huge 400ml mug, not a 60ml teacup.

My cup overfloweth.

[Mel the Redcap]

The Good Ethnic Boy discovered this morning why I always give Holly-cat her breakfast right before we leave the house. It's because I use the little tin of wet food as a bribe, to get her into my study. (We shut the cats in different rooms during the day while we're at work, for very good reasons.)

Today, he decided to help out by giving Holly her noms while I was in the shower... so when we were about to leave, there was absolutely no reason for Holly to cooperate with the shut-cat-in-study program. Cue an athletic pursuit through the house, with naughty tortie lurking behind every available bit of furniture, then sitting quietly in the middle of the corridor until the humans were nearly in cat-picking-up range. She was having the time of her life.

So yeah, honey... that was a nice thought, but Don't Do That.

[Midnight Kitty]

My cup overfloweth.

Literally

[cwm]

I don't know how I did it, but I did.

I sneezed so hard that it must have pinched a nerve in my arms or my back. I had shooting pain down my arms for a good five minutes, and it hurt to move them. The pain is gone now, but dang that hurt for a good chunk of time.

Then again, I'm the person who has literally sneezed myself out of a chair and landed on the floor. Or when I sneeze hard enough I'll stop breathing. Haven't passed out yet, but I was seeing spots one time before BF finally came and thumped my back to restart my lungs.

So yeah, if doctors could just get rid of whatever it was that caused a sneeze in the first place, I'd be much happier. Until then, I'll have to try to not sneeze.

[Elfmama]

I don't know how I did it, but I did.

I sneezed so hard that it must have pinched a nerve in my arms or my back. I had shooting pain down my arms for a good five minutes, and it hurt to move them. The pain is gone now, but dang that hurt for a good chunk of time.

Then again, I'm the person who has literally sneezed myself out of a chair and landed on the floor. Or when I sneeze hard enough I'll stop breathing. Haven't passed out yet, but I was seeing spots one time before BF finally came and thumped my back to restart my lungs.

So yeah, if doctors could just get rid of whatever it was that caused a sneeze in the first place, I'd be much happier. Until then, I'll have to try to not sneeze.

Don't try to suppress them!  SIL2 did that, because he's the same kind of sneezer, and broke 2 ribs! 

[Bluenomi]

Likewise, don't eat watermelon in an excessive manner. Just no.

Same with spinach and blueberries. You will have lots of alone time if you do.

Oh, the watermelon.  My DD ate nearly an entire (small) watermelon by herself over the course of a day (various relatives fed her and she asked for 2+ servings each meal!).  Who'd have thought something that is little more than water could have that unfortunate an effect??

I made that mistake with kiwi fruit. DD had 3 or 4 one day and it was not pretty the next day. Now I limit her to 2 kiwi fruit a day.

[Ms_Cellany]

The Good Ethnic Boy discovered this morning why I always give Holly-cat her breakfast right before we leave the house. It's because I use the little tin of wet food as a bribe, to get her into my study. (We shut the cats in different rooms during the day while we're at work, for very good reasons.)

Today, he decided to help out by giving Holly her noms while I was in the shower... so when we were about to leave, there was absolutely no reason for Holly to cooperate with the shut-cat-in-study program.

Jack is clicker-trained, and used to come in when we clicked. But with the new house & acreage, and the mass of foster kittens & adult cats, he's less inclined to come running.

Until I had the idea to open a can of gooshifud on the porch. Instant manifestation!

[lady_disdain]

My boyfriend finds that the easiest way to lure me out of the studio is to open a box of chocolate.

[cwm]

I don't know how I did it, but I did.

I sneezed so hard that it must have pinched a nerve in my arms or my back. I had shooting pain down my arms for a good five minutes, and it hurt to move them. The pain is gone now, but dang that hurt for a good chunk of time.

Then again, I'm the person who has literally sneezed myself out of a chair and landed on the floor. Or when I sneeze hard enough I'll stop breathing. Haven't passed out yet, but I was seeing spots one time before BF finally came and thumped my back to restart my lungs.

So yeah, if doctors could just get rid of whatever it was that caused a sneeze in the first place, I'd be much happier. Until then, I'll have to try to not sneeze.

Don't try to suppress them!  SIL2 did that, because he's the same kind of sneezer, and broke 2 ribs! 

YIKES! Unfortunately, it's not a matter of trying to suppress them, it's the fact that my body does it on its own. I can't control whether I have a big sneeze or hold it in, it's about half of each. I can't figure out how to make myself actually sneeze any more.

Though where I sit at work, if I do have a big sneeze like that, I'll probably crack my skull open, I sit at the corner intersection of my desk in a chair with arms. There's no real escaping that.

[blue2000]

My boyfriend finds that the easiest way to lure me out of the studio is to open a box of chocolate.

Ah, but can you hear the lid being lifted from halfway across the house?

[missanpan]

This has probably been posted before -

When you are wearing a skirt or dress, after you use the restroom, make sure that your skirt/dress is not tucked up into your undergarment. I managed to walk halfway through a Target looking like that. Luckily, I tend to wear biker shorts underneath my dresses so at least it wasn't my underwear that wast showing.

[Moonie]

This has probably been posted before -

When you are wearing a skirt or dress, after you use the restroom, make sure that your skirt/dress is not tucked up into your undergarment. I managed to walk halfway through a Target looking like that. Luckily, I tend to wear biker shorts underneath my dresses so at least it wasn't my underwear that wast showing.

This very thing happened to me once....at my job at a bank...with a loan officer following me to the lobby. Thankfully one of the ladies at the safe deposit desk saw me and stopped me before I actually got into the lobby.