Author Topic: Uh.. ya, don't do that....  (Read 520470 times)

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Sophia

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3075 on: March 09, 2014, 05:08:42 PM »
If you have long hair, don't wear it loose while driving.  If you do, don't sneeze.  Sneezing will make you lean forward, and then when you lean back again your hair will get yanked into the seatbelt holder and get stuck there.  And then you'll be stuck in stop-and-go traffic with your head locked against the back of your seat by a section of your scalp and you won't be able to get the seatbelt to disengage until traffic starts moving again and you can take your foot off the brake.

Also, it hurts.

And if you do frequently wear your long hair loose while driving, just agree with and lie to the guy when you take your car in to be cleaned when he looks in the back of your car and says "I guess you have one of those dogs with long hair." 

Mental Magpie

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3076 on: March 12, 2014, 02:07:13 AM »
If you feel the cable from the weight machine scratching you, do not finish the set.  Furthermore, do not then go onto do a set with the other arm.  When you feel the cable scratch you, do not finish that set either.

It looks like a cat attacked my arm.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

ladyknight1

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3077 on: March 12, 2014, 09:47:38 AM »
I threw out my back in mid-January, got better.

I threw out my pelvis in mid-February, got better.

I threw out my pelvis this weekend. I am not getting better.

I have had RX medication to help with the pain and spasms, and each time I got better I would ignore the dwindling amount. Now I am out, and can't get in at my primary care physician until tomorrow afternoon.

Woe is me.  :(

Melle

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3078 on: March 12, 2014, 11:26:54 AM »
If the instructions on your packet of plaster mix tell you to wear a dust mask, wear a dust mask.
Nobody will show any pity when your inflamed throat keeps you from speaking for days.

gramma dishes

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3079 on: March 12, 2014, 12:24:21 PM »
If the instructions on your packet of plaster mix tell you to wear a dust mask, wear a dust mask.
Nobody will show any pity when your inflamed throat keeps you from speaking for days.

I would imagine that plaster dust mixed with natural mouth moisture would give you a rather gravelly sounding 'hard' voice. 

I would also imagine that swallowing might be impeded.   :-\

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3080 on: March 12, 2014, 12:44:51 PM »
^ Reminds me of a buddy of mine who came back from a boys weekend.  It involved a lot of booze and a lot of yelling at various sports venues.  When he started talking, it sounded like a cross between Donald Duck and the Godfather.  We were all trying not to giggle but we couldn't help it.
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Melle

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3081 on: March 12, 2014, 01:10:22 PM »
I would imagine that plaster dust mixed with natural mouth moisture would give you a rather gravelly sounding 'hard' voice. 

I would also imagine that swallowing might be impeded.   :-\

Alas, it was less Godfather and more Harpo Marx... swallowing was fine, though. Weird.

blueyzca01

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3082 on: March 17, 2014, 04:40:26 PM »
Don’t assume that a person doesn’t speak English simply because no one else in his company does.

I wanted to give my gardener Julio some instructions about cutting down some bushes, but all I’ve ever heard him say in English is “One hundred dollars for the month.  You pay Monday.”

So, I asked my coworker how to say what I want him to do in Spanish.  She wrote it out phonetically, I practiced in front of her and I really had it down.  So, Monday morning comes along and I went outside as soon as I saw someone in my yard.  As I approached him, I noticed that this man was not Julio; but, obviously he’s the substitute gardener for the day.  I walked up to him and gave him my spiel.  “Hola!  Por favor, puede blah blah blah.”  I was so proud of myself because I thought I sounded really good.

He looked at me, pulled his handkerchief down from his mouth and said, “So, you just want me to level out the bushes, lady?”

I felt like an idiot.
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Octavia

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3083 on: March 17, 2014, 09:00:33 PM »
Don't put a big hunk of meat down the garbage disposal and expect it to disappear. It won't. Both sides of my double sink are completely clogged now.  :(
"I never explain anything." ~Julie Andrews in Mary Poppins

alkira6

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3084 on: March 18, 2014, 10:57:13 AM »
Don't put a big hunk of meat down the garbage disposal and expect it to disappear. It won't. Both sides of my double sink are completely clogged now.  :(

Don't do it with potato peels either.  Found this out the hard way in our first apartment.

VorFemme

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3085 on: March 18, 2014, 11:08:53 AM »
Don't put a big hunk of meat down the garbage disposal and expect it to disappear. It won't. Both sides of my double sink are completely clogged now.  :(

Don't do it with potato peels either.  Found this out the hard way in our first apartment.

Corn cobs....

If you want to CLEAN the garbage disposal, citrus peel & ice cubes do wonders. 

And scrub the underside of the rubber flaps with a scrubbie or sponge.  The ice doesn't reach that far up.
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gramma dishes

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3086 on: March 18, 2014, 12:37:23 PM »
When we first moved into our house (just newly built) we got our first garbage disposal ever.  The installer had left a note on our kitchen countertop for us to find when we moved in.  Sadly I didn't save it, but the gist of it was:

"Do not put the following items into your disposal (unless you want to see me again really soon):

large chunks of celery
huge bones -- small ones are fine
corn cobs, husks or silk

Enjoy!"
« Last Edit: March 18, 2014, 12:39:58 PM by gramma dishes »

Slartibartfast

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3087 on: March 18, 2014, 01:04:17 PM »
Tangentially related:

Just because something got physically put in the garbage disposal, that doesn't mean it's gone.  You have to actually run the disposal.  Also, standard poodles are pretty much built to stand on their hind legs.  And they're tall enough to eat out of the garbage disposal.  And once they learn you're bad about remembering to actually RUN the disposal after putting food trash in, they'll spend the next several years trying to peek in the sink when they think nobody's looking.

Dindrane

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3088 on: March 18, 2014, 04:26:05 PM »
Tangentially related:

Just because something got physically put in the garbage disposal, that doesn't mean it's gone.  You have to actually run the disposal.  Also, standard poodles are pretty much built to stand on their hind legs.  And they're tall enough to eat out of the garbage disposal.  And once they learn you're bad about remembering to actually RUN the disposal after putting food trash in, they'll spend the next several years trying to peek in the sink when they think nobody's looking.

That fact has saved a truly impressive amount of our silverware. Even a few small spoons that were dropped in unnoticed until we ran the disposal. They now have some lovely garbage-disposal-chewing marks on the handles, but at least they never went all the way down the drain (and they aren't my favorite spoons, anyway).


Editeer

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3089 on: March 18, 2014, 06:54:29 PM »
Don't put a big hunk of meat down the garbage disposal and expect it to disappear. It won't. Both sides of my double sink are completely clogged now.  :(

Don't do it with potato peels either.  Found this out the hard way in our first apartment.

Corn cobs....


Or anything with the word CHOKE in its name.