My comments in red - please let me know if this is already posted!
I have a story that I am still trying to interpret. About a year ago, my boyfriend and I moved to a new city so that I could get my masters. We were excited for the move (even though it was only for a year) because my boyfriend (whom we will call Vincent) and my friend from high school (whom we will call John) lived there with his fiancée Suzanne. Suzanne and I had never met before (although I sent an engagement gift) the move and I was excited about the possibility of making a friend in my new city before I started school.
Well, as it turns out Suzanne and I did not hit it off. I am a very outgoing person who has never had a problem making friends but I just could not connect with this woman anyway I tried. I frequently asked her about her wedding plans, as this seemed to be a topic about which she was less cold to me. Now, I should highlight some more about Suzanne and Vincent (boyfriend), John (friend), and me. The three of us are city children who grew up in fairly affluent families. We went to the same prep-school and all attended prestigious colleges. We have been blessed with material things in our life, however I should note that we don't hold this above anyone and Vincent and my friends grew up in diverse backgrounds. Suzanne, on the other hand, is a country bumpkin from a working class family. I think part of her coldness towards me was based on her feeling inferior to me based on background, but I am just guessing. This is the part that gets to me and makes me lack sympathy for the "victim." It seems like a pretentious assumption that the poor little country bumpkin dislikes her because she has an inferiority complex. After all, she's marrying one of the "upper class" citizens, isn't she?
Anyway, I made a great effort to make friends with Suzanne. We went out to dinner as two couples, we hosted them at our apartment, met for drinks, etc. She continued to be cold to me. This worsened after Vincent and I became engaged. John and Vincent are each other's best men, so I thought with both of us getting married we would at least have something to talk about. However, she just openly condemned all of my choices as snobbish and over-the-top (we are having a large, black tie wedding with a ceremony in an Episcopal cathedral). After four months of effortlessly trying at and paying for outings, I decided to give up and just be civil when we had to see each other.
Three months later, I got a telephone call from John. He told me he and Suzanne were upset that Suzanne and I had not become "best friends" and would I please email her to try and instigate a friendship. I privately rolled my eyes but decided to send her an email that apologized for my lack of effort and anything that I did that might have offended her. I figured for the next year we would have to be around each other due to Vincent and my friendship with John and both weddings, so civility and keeping the peace was in order. So I sent a note offering an olive branch and a sincere intention to try harder at our relationship. What I got back, however, was an long abrasive email about how I am a condescending, shallow, b****. Perhaps the OP's suppositions about Suzanne not liking her because she was a country bumpkin got around - or her prejudices came off in her treatment of Suzanne?There were also a list of false accusations. (Remember I had been asked by her fiancé to reach out) However, I decided to not engage in a silly battle and simple sent another email apologizing for anyway that I could have offended her and let it go.
The crazy thing is this: I received a shower invitation the next day from Suzanne's mom. Originally, I assumed that every woman invited to the wedding was invited to the shower, a practice that I feel is totally tacky, but would at least explain the presence of someone who the bride apparently "couldn't stand the sight of" on a guest list. I decided not to attend the shower but sent a gift. (total cost of wedding for me right now is $120, when you include shower and engagement gift). After some digging, I found out that not every woman was invited to the shower, but that she decided to include me because I had given a nice engagement gift. Admittedly - this is bad on Suzanne's part! What a gift grabber!
To make matters worse, Suzanne convinced John to have a destination wedding so we all have to fly to a far away city, rent a car, drive five hours, to go to a cocktail reception. We have to go because Vincent agreed to be the BM before this came to light.
Part of me thinks that Suzanne is a bridezilla and part of me wants to suspect mental instability in order to explain her actions.
Was anyone else bothered by this?
