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Classic Faux Pas: Bridesmaids Drafted To Write Thank You Notes !!!!!!!!!!!

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"Hand over the gifts, then I'll write the Thank-Yous."   

I do NOT thank people for gifts not given to me.

No, I am not sorry for that.



Evil Duckie:
I know that if this happened to me I would have either been sent to ehell for my response or stunned into silence by her gall.

This makes you wonder what other jobs she had for her slaves bridesmaids.  >:D

T'Mar of Vulcan:

--- Quote from: twinkletoes on April 05, 2007, 09:48:16 AM ---And sometimes, the rudeness is just so incredibly shocking, that people just go along with it because they're literally stunned over the whole thing.  On this forum, it's so common for someone to say "I wish I had been thinking - I would have told (rude person) to get bent."  Yes, people need to grow a spine (spines?), but I can also see where they just go along with the rudeness.

--- End quote ---

That often happens to me - I'm just so stunned that my brain shorts out and I can't form the Assertive, e-h3ll-worthy response. Usually I just cave because my brain is still going, "Wha...?"

Usually, if given time to think before formulating a response to something ridiculous and not sandbagged, I will have time to forumlate my own negative response in such a way that it's not rude or whatever... but not the teachers at my school. They are a freaking Milgram Experiment. I have never seen a bunch of people cave to "authority" like that in my life. They will cave right away because they don't want to be seen as standing out or disagreeing. "We're going to a spa for our staff function! It will cost $$$ but it's lovely." I'm the only one who says, "I think that's a waste of money. Why not save the money for decorating the staffroom/buying some decent bathroom fixtures/whatever and just go out to a nice restaurant?" The rest of them? "Okay." ARGH!

It really chaps my hide because then I look like the dissenter - meanwhile, they will all complain about it behind the boss's back, but will smile and agree to her face. Even a close colleague does this. The last day of the term we were talking about going to the stupid spa *again* this year (I didn't like it; I got a terrible headache after the back massage) and she said, "I'd rather they gave me the 500 bucks and just took us out for lunch." (She's a single parent with a deadbeat arsehole for an ex-husband, so to waste 500 bucks on something "frivolous" is hard for her.)

Anyway, just then the organiser came past and said, "Sell lots of stuff at your stall so we can go for the whole day this time!" I said, "I don't really want to go there again; I didn't enjoy it much." She said, "But if we go for the whole day we can get a HEAD massage! And a facial scrub!" I said, "I don't want a head massage, and no one is touching my face." So she turns to my colleague and says, "But you enjoyed it, didn't you?" (Remember, this woman was JUST complaining about not wanting to go!) And my colleague says, "Yes, I enjoyed myself." I was ready to STRANGLE her!

Sorry, this turned into a rant. Oh well, it felt good to get it off my chest.

Bob Ducca:
What I especially love about this story is how the bride tells the bridesmaids they can eat after they are done with the thank-you notes.  I have to wonder if she had the foresight to book the private room for four hours, knowing she was asking each 'maid to write 70 notes.

Clearly, the bride knew she was being a manipulative witch, or else she would have asked them straight out, not attempted to use hospitality to hold them hostage.

Honestly the very first thing I wouuld have asked was "where is hte groom and his groomsmen?"  Of course I think the whole situation is obnoxious, but I think my first reaction would be hte feminist in me...

it is sometimes hard to say "no" when faced with a group situation like that, and honestly evenif saying "no" isn't "causing a scene" technically, in reality it is seen that way.

I was involved in a wedding as a bridesmaid.  The MOH announced via email to the WP and the MOB that guests would be addressing their own thank you envelopes the shower.  I replied all stating that I felt this was rude beyond compariosn an very tacky and I thought the bride would be mortified and the guests would be insulted.  I was not rude in my email, just matter of fact.  I was 'punished' by the WP (among other things not only was I not sent an invite to the shower, but when I asked for the verbiage of the invite to be emailed to me (people were asking me questions) I was refused repeatedly and in a very, very nasty manner) and I was called a troublemaker, etc.  so even if officially it's not rude to say no, othen if is received that way and the person who says no feels the reprecussions, not the asker.


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