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As the MOH I am hosting my sister's bachlorette party. Here are my conundrums:

Sis's friends all live 8 + hours away (college) so we decided to do a "come for the party, stay for the weekend" type of deal. We live at a beach resort location, so hotels are very expensive especially as we are throwing the party during the "season." Therefore, we are having them stay at my sister's and my mutual apartment. I have no problem with this. I will make the food/feed everyone etc. Except for the actual night of the party. I will provide appetizer style food for games/present opening and then we are going to go out to a bar/restaurant for dinner. Am I expected to pay for this? Is there a polite way to indicate in the invitation that I am not going to?

Also, my sister's future SIL lives in england and can only come down for that one weekend. In order to include her in things, the Bridal Shower is also that weekend (by a family friend). Is that so completely wrong that we should do that? Is there a way to tell them they are not expected to bring a gift for both occasions? I'm at a loss.

I have never heard of gifts at a bachelorette party.  Ok once in a while someone brings a gag gift, but they are not normal or customary so no need to address that guests needed bring one.  I also would not suggest there will be a "gift opening" because that would be suggesting they should bring something, whereas most people would not normally be inclined to do so.

In my experience and everything I've ever read or discussed, it's widely accepted & known that everyone pays their own way at a bachelorette, kicking in a little extra to cover the bride.
To be 100% clear on this, when issuing the invites (evites might be best, simply give the basic run down

"Lodging will be at B2B & my apt. 
We will do some basic grocery shopping to accomodate home meals.  Please inform me of special dietary needs in advance, or plan to bring your own special food if neeed.
Friday night the plan is to go to [local restuarant].  The average entree costs $XX.xx, and cocktails range from $X.xx - XX.xx. 
Afterwards we will be going to [local club or whereever], the door cover charge is $X.xx per person, and drinks average $X.xx. 
Transportation will be [are you cabbing it?  Include the cost.  Or public transport?  Again include cost.  walking?  mention it so people can plan for appropriate shoes]."

Pad all prices by at least 10, if not 20%.  No one is ever upset when a night out costs less then they budgeted for, but few people are pleased when it costs more.

thank you very much!  ;D

Every Bachelorette Party I've been to the in last four years has included gifts (not just gag gifts either).  I was very embarrassed the first time I came across this, I attended "Amy's" bridal shower one weekend with a gift and then was invited to her bachelorette the next weekend and came with extra money so that I could buy her a drink but NO gift!  I don't know if that's just my area (Pacific Northwest US) or just my social group.  But, you might want to warn your guests that two gift are not expected.

I think by having the shower the same weekend that most people will figure out that they only need one gift for the weekend.  If not I would find a person the bride is really close to and that knows everyone and get her help to spread the word by word of mouth. 

also i agree with the above posters about the cost.  I have never been to a bachlorette where we didnt't pay our own way.


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