Author Topic: bachlorette  (Read 2295 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

PeasNCues

  • Mind your PeasNCues!
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7366
bachlorette
« on: April 05, 2007, 01:17:50 PM »
As the MOH I am hosting my sister's bachlorette party. Here are my conundrums:

Sis's friends all live 8 + hours away (college) so we decided to do a "come for the party, stay for the weekend" type of deal. We live at a beach resort location, so hotels are very expensive especially as we are throwing the party during the "season." Therefore, we are having them stay at my sister's and my mutual apartment. I have no problem with this. I will make the food/feed everyone etc. Except for the actual night of the party. I will provide appetizer style food for games/present opening and then we are going to go out to a bar/restaurant for dinner. Am I expected to pay for this? Is there a polite way to indicate in the invitation that I am not going to?

Also, my sister's future SIL lives in england and can only come down for that one weekend. In order to include her in things, the Bridal Shower is also that weekend (by a family friend). Is that so completely wrong that we should do that? Is there a way to tell them they are not expected to bring a gift for both occasions? I'm at a loss.
'I shall sit here quietly by the fire for a bit, and perhaps go out later for a sniff of air.  Mind your Ps and Qs, and don't forget that you are supposed to be escaping in secret, and are still on the high-road and not very far from the Shire!' -FOTR

http://inanitiesofanidlemind.blogspot.com/

Sibby

  • Guest
Re: bachlorette
« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2007, 02:34:46 PM »
I have never heard of gifts at a bachelorette party.  Ok once in a while someone brings a gag gift, but they are not normal or customary so no need to address that guests needed bring one.  I also would not suggest there will be a "gift opening" because that would be suggesting they should bring something, whereas most people would not normally be inclined to do so.

In my experience and everything I've ever read or discussed, it's widely accepted & known that everyone pays their own way at a bachelorette, kicking in a little extra to cover the bride.
To be 100% clear on this, when issuing the invites (evites might be best, www.evite.com) simply give the basic run down

"Lodging will be at B2B & my apt. 
We will do some basic grocery shopping to accomodate home meals.  Please inform me of special dietary needs in advance, or plan to bring your own special food if neeed.
Friday night the plan is to go to [local restuarant].  The average entree costs $XX.xx, and cocktails range from $X.xx - XX.xx. 
Afterwards we will be going to [local club or whereever], the door cover charge is $X.xx per person, and drinks average $X.xx. 
Transportation will be [are you cabbing it?  Include the cost.  Or public transport?  Again include cost.  walking?  mention it so people can plan for appropriate shoes]."

Pad all prices by at least 10, if not 20%.  No one is ever upset when a night out costs less then they budgeted for, but few people are pleased when it costs more.

PeasNCues

  • Mind your PeasNCues!
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7366
Re: bachlorette
« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2007, 02:48:45 PM »
thank you very much!  ;D
'I shall sit here quietly by the fire for a bit, and perhaps go out later for a sniff of air.  Mind your Ps and Qs, and don't forget that you are supposed to be escaping in secret, and are still on the high-road and not very far from the Shire!' -FOTR

http://inanitiesofanidlemind.blogspot.com/

Arianoor

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1204
Re: bachlorette
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2007, 05:16:46 PM »
Every Bachelorette Party I've been to the in last four years has included gifts (not just gag gifts either).  I was very embarrassed the first time I came across this, I attended "Amy's" bridal shower one weekend with a gift and then was invited to her bachelorette the next weekend and came with extra money so that I could buy her a drink but NO gift!  I don't know if that's just my area (Pacific Northwest US) or just my social group.  But, you might want to warn your guests that two gift are not expected.

Sterling

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2995
    • Oh Stupid Me- Blogs about Things That Drive Me Crazy
Re: bachlorette
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2007, 05:21:25 PM »
I think by having the shower the same weekend that most people will figure out that they only need one gift for the weekend.  If not I would find a person the bride is really close to and that knows everyone and get her help to spread the word by word of mouth. 

also i agree with the above posters about the cost.  I have never been to a bachlorette where we didnt't pay our own way.
93 93/93

BittyB

  • Guest
Re: bachlorette
« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2007, 06:17:04 PM »
I have never been to a bachelorette party, so if someone like me is invited to yours then they simply may not know.  I know that bridal showers are supposed to be paid for by the hosts, and I've only ever been to bridal showers.  Me being me, I'd probably try to descreetly ask the hostess first or bring cash just in case, but forewarned is forearmed - I'd do like the above poster and put the average cost.  Not only does it indicate that the gals are paying their own way, but it also tells them how much to budget so nobody has a really nasty surprise (like all those Ehell stories where the gals show up and suddenly the MoH is demanding $40 from each guest before they get on the bus!).


alli_wan

  • Guest
Re: bachlorette
« Reply #6 on: April 26, 2007, 05:48:39 PM »
I would never think to bring a gift beyond a gag gift to a bachelorette party.  Considering most of them involve bar-hopping, why would I risk a nice expensive gift getting lost or broken?

On the other hand, you mentioned the friends live 8 hours away! :o  I think the bigger issue is expecting a bunch of college girls to travel 16 hours in one weekend for pre-wedding gift-giving and treating events and then expecting them to also attend the wedding at some future point.  (It's nice that you're putting them up and all, but from my pov, a one way 8 hour trip seems a little excessive for a shower and bachelorette party, particularly since the latter is almost always right before the 'big day' where they will all have to turn around and travel again.)

PeasNCues

  • Mind your PeasNCues!
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7366
Re: bachlorette
« Reply #7 on: May 01, 2007, 12:03:13 PM »
I would never think to bring a gift beyond a gag gift to a bachelorette party.  Considering most of them involve bar-hopping, why would I risk a nice expensive gift getting lost or broken?

On the other hand, you mentioned the friends live 8 hours away! :o  I think the bigger issue is expecting a bunch of college girls to travel 16 hours in one weekend for pre-wedding gift-giving and treating events and then expecting them to also attend the wedding at some future point.  (It's nice that you're putting them up and all, but from my pov, a one way 8 hour trip seems a little excessive for a shower and bachelorette party, particularly since the latter is almost always right before the 'big day' where they will all have to turn around and travel again.)

The actual wedding is not until October. My sis's future SIL is a bridesmaid, but lives in England. She felt kind of left out so when we found out she was coming for memorial day weekend we planned the party. She is a PhD and can't get away often. Plus guest would come friday and leave monday - so it's not an over-nighter at all. I really haven't gotten the impression that anyone I invited has been less than thrilled about getting food/accommodations at a beach resort area. They are Post-college girls btw. They are Sorority Sisters of the BTB. Poor J went 8 hours away for a scholarship and now all her friends live there.
'I shall sit here quietly by the fire for a bit, and perhaps go out later for a sniff of air.  Mind your Ps and Qs, and don't forget that you are supposed to be escaping in secret, and are still on the high-road and not very far from the Shire!' -FOTR

http://inanitiesofanidlemind.blogspot.com/