Cell Phone Rules - What are yours?

[Sophia]

The post about Cell Phones and Williamsburg got me to think about cell phones.  My rule is that cell phones are allowed when/where people can talk to each other, at the same or lower volume they use to talk to each other.  So I would classify talking in a cell phone at a restaurant as fine, as long as you aren't shouting.  I remember the very recent post about the guy on a bus having an argument with his girlfriend over the cell phone.  At first, it seemed very rude.  Now, I am wondering why it would have been less rude if they were both on the bus having the argument.  What do y'll think? 

Rude cell phone story:  Maybe 5 years ago, my dad was chatting with a young woman at an office party.  A young man at the party did not want to do the normal party thing of joining the conversation.  So, he called her cell phone while they were both at the party.  My dad is an extremely nice guy, whom everyone loves.  If the turd had just walked up, dad would have excused himself. 

Also, I actually appreciate the "Turn off the cell phone" reminder at the beginning of the movies.  I would forget otherwise. 

[Chartreuse]

My rule of thumb for cell use:  you probably do not need to be talking on the phone in public if it's not an emergency or if it can wait until you get home.  It's nice to have the convenience of having it there if you need it, but it's still considered fairly rude if you're talking on it all the time.  Better to not use it much than be one of those types. 

[ShadesOfGrey]

Now, I am wondering why it would have been less rude if they were both on the bus having the argument.  What do y'll think? 

I dont think it would have been less rude.  Personal subjects are meant to stay personal.  Nobody else should be exposed to "you f'n no-good, POS..." "but honey, I didnt mean to fall asleep while we were...." "I just cant stand that woman I hope she..."

My personal feelings are this (cell phone or not): If you would think it rude for me to comment on it if I hear it, then it shouldnt be said in public.

[fklwmn]

The post about Cell Phones and Williamsburg got me to think about cell phones.  My rule is that cell phones are allowed when/where people can talk to each other, at the same or lower volume they use to talk to each other.  So I would classify talking in a cell phone at a restaurant as fine, as long as you aren't shouting.  I remember the very recent post about the guy on a bus having an argument with his girlfriend over the cell phone.  At first, it seemed very rude.  Now, I am wondering why it would have been less rude if they were both on the bus having the argument.  What do y'll think? 

Rude cell phone story:  Maybe 5 years ago, my dad was chatting with a young woman at an office party.  A young man at the party did not want to do the normal party thing of joining the conversation.  So, he called her cell phone while they were both at the party.  My dad is an extremely nice guy, whom everyone loves.  If the turd had just walked up, dad would have excused himself. 

Also, I actually appreciate the "Turn off the cell phone" reminder at the beginning of the movies.  I would forget otherwise. 

Okay, my general rule of thumb is similar to yours. If I would have thi conversation @ this level of volume in this place or situation with someone in person,then I will do it on the phone. I will talk on the phone while dining alone or while shopping alone or even while driving, but never if I am out with others (unless it is a quick call for a specific purpose). Also, if I need to address someone else (cashier, salesperson, toll booth operator...) I will either get off the phone completely or put the call on hold and remove the phone/headset from my ear.

anywhere where any talking would need to be so quiet that the person I am on the phone with would have trouble hearing me (the movies, the library...) I will either turn off my phone or leave it on vibrate and excuse myself if I get a call that I need to answer.

BTW... My pharmacy recently put up signs saying that due to new Federal Privacy regulations they will not service customers who are on the phone. I didn't think anything about this until I went through the drive through last night to drop off and then pick up my prescription with 3 other people in my car.

They had no trouble servicing me then, when it would have been a much bigger privacy violation b/c the people in the car are MUCH more likely to hear our conversation than someone on the other end of the phone. If you don't want to deal with rude people talking on the phone while you are trying to help them, then just put up a sign saying you will not service people who are on their phones. Why blame it on Federal Regulations? Besides, the same notice @ the front counter (where you cannot purchase prescriptions, just normal OTC stuff and other purchases like lawn chairs and toys...) kind of gives it away that it's not a privacy issue...

[sweedetobee]

Not a rule that I created, but my favorite rule is that at the pharmacy near my apartment (it is a CVS if you're curious) they have a sign posted at the counter that says to please turn off your cell phone in this area.

I like it because 1) it helps the people behind the counter 2) it helps all of us waiting in line as the line is not held up by someone on the phone not paying attention to the person behind the counter and 3) I don't even want to spell my last name or confirm what my prescription is for when someone else is on the phone. I am not that loud and I'm sure the person on the other end of the phone can't hear me but it just feels like an invasion of privacy for some reason.

Personally I find that I have this bizarre habit of talking louder when I'm on my cell phone. So I try never to talk on it on my commute or in enclosed public places. But if I'm out taking a walk or in the car with my husband I'll chat away.

[Sophia]

I guess one of the issues with cell phones, is that the person on the other end of the line is probably somewhere private.  So, the person in private feels free to have very personal conversations, that they would not have in a public place. 

I used to travel all the time for work.  Waiting for my dinner in a restaurant would be my favorite time for personal calls.  I would be so pooped when I got back to the hotel, then add that I usually went west, dinner would often be the latest I could talk to people. 

Now, I don't use it that often (<100 minutes/month).  But, I would be extremely put out to be asked to check my phone like a coat at a party (from the Williamsburg post). 

[JeanFromBNA]

Turn ringer to low or vibrate in public, and off in enclosed areas, and in all assemblies.
Conversations in normal tone of voice only.
Personal topics are off-limits in public.
In-person conversations with anyone, regardless of relationship, always take precedence.

Although I understand the frustration behind asking cell phone users to put their phones in a basket until the end of the party, one must trust friends to be polite.  That reminded me of a story in one of Judith Martin's books about a house that had signs everywhere:  "no smoking,"  "no food or drinks in the living room," etc. 

[goblue2539]

I think my general rule of thumb with my phone is Can it wait?  If I have to communicate with that person right then, I'll do it while doing my best to respect the area I'm in and the people around me.  But, if it can wait, I'll wait. 

That being said, I use my cell for just about all my phone calls because of the free nights and weekends.  I make a LOT of long-distance calls. 

[Sophia]

A buddy of mine said that when they lived in San Francisco, several of their friends (different households) had a 'white only' rule.  Not racists.  But their homes were decorated in white.  White carpet, white furniture, etc.  Guests were only allowed to drink white drinks.  White wine, vodka, water, Sprite.  Even Scotch was too dark.  No juice.  He said they brought red wine the first time they visited one of these people, and the hosts were horrified. 

[sweedetobee]

A buddy of mine said that when they lived in San Francisco, several of their friends (different households) had a 'white only' rule.  Not racists.  But their homes were decorated in white.  White carpet, white furniture, etc.  Guests were only allowed to drink white drinks.  White wine, vodka, water, Sprite.  Even Scotch was too dark.  No juice.  He said they brought red wine the first time they visited one of these people, and the hosts were horrified. 

I know everyone has different lifestyles, but that is one of the most BIZARRE things I've heard in a long time.

[Brentwood]

I never turn my cell phone off when I'm out and about - restaurant, movie, whatever - because I have young kids at home with a babysitter, and I would be uncomfortable about being unreachable. However, the phone is on vibrate or silent, hidden in my pocket, and if I get a call, I leave the theater (or what-have-you) and take the call where it won't disturb others.

[Sorceress]

My rules: 

1.)No talking on the cell phone while driving even where it is legal.
2.)No talking on the cell phone when I'm engaged in such public activities like ordering lunch, bank transactions, etc.  Seriously, you can't get off the phone for two seconds to order your lunch or speak with a bank teller?!
3.)If for some reason, I absolutely must take the call at that time, I will find a more appropriate place to talk to them.  If it's a non-emergency, I will call them back as soon as it's convenient.
4. Absolutely no cell phone chats whatsoever in movie theaters, when I am already busy talking to someone standing right in front of me, in restaurants, and especially *bookstores and libraries*.  Whatever happened to being quiet in a library or bookstore?!

I'm sure I've missed a few, but that's what comes off the top of my head right now.

[Twik]

I think I mentioned this on another thread, but screaming, "well, at least I'm not the one who had the illegitimate child!!!!" at one's ex while waiting for other passengers to board the plane is rather ill-advised. Particularly when your two pre-teen sons are watching you melt down with wide-open eyes.

[ZipTheWonder]

My personal rules are:

Yes: Make or take the call -- outdoors, malls, stores, airports.
No:  Step outside -- churches, parties/get-to-gethers, restroom stalls, restaurants, theater/performances, anywhere discrete conversation is required.
Situational -- car, waiting rooms.

[Lisbeth]

My rules are:
1) Keep the ringer set low or in vibrate mode.  If you work in an office, get rid of the cutesy ringer.

2) When talking on your cell phone, keep your voice at a reasonable volume-no shouting.  If that isn't possible, go somewhere else to use your cell phone or end the call until such a place is available.

3) If you are in the following places and/or situations, keep your phone on silent or vibrate mode and do not place or take calls unless it is an emergency (meaning life-or-death):

a) During class (whether instructor or student), a lecture, or a seminar
b) During religious services
c) In a checkout or bank line
d) At a wedding or funeral
e) At a graduation or other rite of passage
f) At a club or group meeting
g) At an interview or conference, including (especially) a job interview
h) In a restroom
i) In a theater or auditorium
j) At a hospital (often this isn't allowed anyway)
k) On a date or in another situation where you are with someone who requires personal interaction

4) If you have to use your cell phone and you're in a public or noisy place, don't expect others to lower their own volumes unless it is a life-and-death emergency.

5) If you are driving, don't use your cell phone if it is illegal or if the situation is especially dangerous, particularly if it is handheld. 

6) Don't discuss really personal matters in public.  Go someplace private for that.