The etiquette of Evite? (is there such a thing??)

[sweedetobee]

Hi, So over in the wedding section we were talking about some issues and a couple of posters mentioned that they don't think that email thank you notes or email invitations are proper. I paraphrased that so that's just a summary of what people said.

Anyway, for my wedding you will be happy to know that I sent real paper invites

But I have used Evite for (much) more casual situations. We have a holiday party every year with my husband's college friends and some people in our neighborhood. We send everyone an Evite and then also tell them in person about the date, because we do speak to these people on a regular basis. I will honestly tell you I use it because it is convenient - and  because my husband's (male) college friends always respond to email but rarely to "real" mail (case in point I had to follow up with all of them regarding our wedding - you'd think they'd send back the preaddressed stamped cards but no...).

Is Evite poor etiquette in ALL occassions or just some? It's ok if you tell me I should never use it cause I already sent one out this year but next year I can be reformed

[blarg314]

I don't have any problem with email for more casual invitations with people who regularly check their email.  It's quick, it's actually easier to transmit relevant information than a printed invitation (a link to a map and driving instructions, for example), and it's easy to respond, and can be done at any time of the day or night (unlike a phone call) and will get to the person even if they're travelling.

Actually, for a casual party most people I know would be rather spooked by a printed invitation and think that the event was much more formal than it actually was.  I don't think I've received a formal printed invitation for anything other than birthday parties (as a kid) or weddings.  Occasionally I've been given a handout with instructions, but even before email phone or direct contact was the usual route.

[ShadesOfGrey]

I dont think it is bad etiquette in *all* situations, but it is definitely only for casual gatherings.  For formal events (weddings, showers, retirement/going away/specific parties) I personally find it tacky, like the invite doesnt match the event. 

That being said, I did send an evite for my tree-trimming party last year. But I also spoke with everyone I personally invited and it was a 'more the merrier' type of party, so, many people came that I didnt even know. 

*Last year I also used to have a standing "martini" gathering once a month.  Evite managed all the reminders/rsvps, which made it MUCH easier than tracking it myself.

*a co-worker was moving away and sent an e-vite to join him for a last drink in the city (he had already had his office going-away lunch). 

*But for my sister's baby shower, I sent handmade invites (the girls that made them are wonderful!)

Although I did have a friend who simply sent an email regarding her holiday party this year.  It's on the same day every year, so everyone just plans to attend.  I think this was too casual, but hey, I am not about to call her on the carpet over it.

ETA: YES!!! I am finally a full member (they should change that title to "Fully Opinionated Member"  )

[Bob Ducca]

I don't know if there is an "official" etiquette position on e-vites, but here's my opinion:

The more formal the occasion, the more imperative it is to issue actual "tangible" invitations.  (I was going to say "paper," but I've received some that weren't exactly paper.)

I guess if it was the kind of occasion I would be comfortable calling friends on the phone to invite them, an e-vite wouldn't be so bad, especially if my primary contact with said friends was via e-mail.

My big beef with e-vites in general is that they take away the personal aspect of issuing invitations.  Even over the phone, I would be calling each friend individually, not sending one mass e-mail or e-vite to a list of names.  But, I wouldn't necessarily be offended to receive an e-vite to a more casual gathering.  I would just never do it myself.  I'm anxious to see what the other replies will be!!

[fklwmn]

personally, I LOVE the evite. I am the worst RSVPer ever, and the evite just makes it SO EASY!!!

A good friend of mineis getting married this weekend.

I got a mailed invitation to her bridal shower with a number to call to RSVP. I NEVER managed to RSVP to it, though I would have (at the very last minute) eventually b.c she is so important to me, but my friend (who knows me well) told me not to worry about it b/c she was having dinner with the girl who was throwing the shower and would just tell her to mark me yes.

I got a traditional mailed invite to the wedding. Included was an addressed returned envelope for the RSVP card. Though I had had the wedding marked on my calendar for months, and there was no doubt I would attend, it took me a month to send back the RSVP Card. (I did still make it before the deadline, though!)

For the bachelorette party I got an evite. Great! i wsn't sure for a couple of weeks if I would be able to attend, but as soon as I knew for sure, I re-opened that email, clicked the link, and viola! all done!

I love evites... though i agree for graduations or weddings or other more formal ceremonies,t hey should be bypassed :-)

[hobish]

For casual invitations amongst friends i think e-vite is perfect & acceptable.

It can also be extremely useful for many of the reasons already mentioned, so i am not going to repeat it all.

[mrsbrandt]

I think that as a rule of thumb if you can't wear jeans and a tee shirt/sweater to the event, you shouldn't be invited via evite.  I love evite for casual things like DD's 2nd birthday party and some girls night outs that I've thrown.

[thebadchemist]

BF and I have only done Evites. No, not because we're tacky! We don't throw formal sit-downs and all of our dinner parties involve fabulous food and paper plates. I think it's a great service and everyone should carefully gauge whether or not the occasion calls for it.

With that said, I do know someone who's mother Evited their wedding. It was kind of horrifying.

[Lisbeth]

I think eVites are fine for any informal occasion and/or non-religious occasion (christening, bris, bar/bat mitzvah, confirmation, etc.)  For more formal occasions, like weddings and the religious occasions I mentioned above, I'd use paper invitations. 

I think eVite should also not be used in situations where the guest list is not to be made available to everyone, and/or is restricted in some way (e.g., established couples only/singles cannot bring dates).  Otherwise, you could have a huge headache trying to get guests to respect your invitation criteria.