Now it's time for our bad etiquette confessions

[Julia Mercer]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOH, I have one! It was around my 19th birthday or something like that, and I had invited a few friends to meet me for drinks at a bar, and the whole time, I kept getting up to call those who hadn't come, and find out where they were. Needless to say I feel bad about it now.

Jules

[Clio]

Here's mine-

Last summer, my grandmother passed away rather suddenly.  My parents took an early flight out the next day, and my sister and I got a flight the day after.  We arrived at the airport with plenty of time to spare, and checked in at the ticket counter, but were not given seat assignments.  The lady at the counter told us we would receive them at the gate.  So we went to the gate, and there was a long line.  Apparantly the airline had overbooked.  There was a woman with a small child behind us who kep loudly saying how important it was for her and her family to get seats, and how much they hoped they would not be bumped.  I was sick of listening to her, particularly since it was pretty important for my sister and I to get seats as well, but we weren't complaining.  Finally, I had enough, and I said loudly "Well, I certainly hope we're able to get seats.  We're the ones going to a f_____g funeral."  She didn't say a word after that. 

[Bethalize]

2. I was a bridesmaid in another wedding on the other side of the country. This was a VERY formal affair with a sit down dinner. I did not give the couple a gift! I assumed that my contribution was the travel/dress expense. In hindsight, that was very rude. I should not have agreed to participate if I couldn't provide a gift in addition to the travel expenses.

Sez who? I always understood that gifts were absolutely optional.

[sparksals]

I've been feeling guilty about this for months!  It's one more thing that gets worse the longer I put it off . . .

DH and I got married on Memorial Day.  DH refuses to do any TY notes, and I only got about 2/3 of them done.  So now it's 5 1/2 months later, and I'm having to decide whether or not we're sending out Christmas cards.  Do I sent out TY notes and Chirstmas Cards at the same time?  Do I say "Merry Christmas and sorry this is late" at the bottom of the TY notes?  Do I say "Thank you for the gift" on the Christmas card?  Do I skip the whole thing?  Do I just send out Christmas cards and get around to the TY notes sometime in January?

The thing is, I could probably just block off a Saturday and do them, but the ones I have left are the ones I'm not 100% sure I have right (tags that may or may not have originally been attatched to a particular gift, or I think the person may have given a gift at the bridal shower and one for the wedding but I'm not sure).  And I'm just petrified that I'll send someone a card saying "thank you for the china" and find they sent me towels instead . . . so I'm tempted to do "thank you for the gift," but that would be even MORE tacky than not getting a TY note at all!

So this is off the original topic, but I'd welcome advice!

I agree with the other person who said to send the TY's separately.  It would be even a larger faux pas to include your TY with the Xmas card.  You should send the TY BEFORE the xmas card because people will wonder why you have time to do the xmas card and not TY.   I'm sure there are many people wondering if you received their gift. 

As for not being sure who gave what, just include a blurb in the TY note explaining the mixup of tags, etc.  People understand those things happen.  But the main priority is to get those TY's out and before you send them a Christmas card. 

[Rei-chan]

I've got one for ya'll:

As some of you know from my other posts, I work retail, and this year on Black Friday the store opened at 5 am, meaning I had to be up at 3:30 am to get there on time.  Note that I am not a morning person please.  For the prior 3 days, I had told a "friend" of mine that I could not have calls after 6pm at my house on Turkey Day as I HAD to be asleep by 7pm.  She had assured me that if she called, it would be my cell (which I had turned off).  Of course, she called at 10 pm Thursday night on my house line.  DH, bless him, tried to get to the phone quickly, but it managed to ring 4 times and wake me up.  Here's where the badness comes in.......after DH got off the phone with her, I got up, mad as a hornet, and asked who called.  Then I proceeded to call her back and got her voice mail.....

ME:  "I don't know what was so dire that you had to call me at 10 pm when I have to be up at 3:30, but I want to you know that I do NOT appreciate this (insert 4 letter word here).  DO NOT (insert another curse here) call me back!!!

The next day, I get off work and check my cell for messages....."friend" responded with her own curse laden message about the fact that she didn't appreciate my tone when she wanted to wish me a happy Turkey Day.

So, of course, I got mad as h____ again (remember, not a morning person, and 8 hours of Black Friday mess) and I called her back.  This time, it was to inform her of what I didn't appreciate, ranging from being awakened, her tone, her selfishness, etc. 

Not my finest hour, I assure you.  I will however, say that this "friend" has a habit of late night/early morning calls for any crisis, being drunk, etc. with no regard for my or DH schedules (especially his as he works and goes to school at night)

Needless to say, we have been incommunicado since Black Friday.

[Clara Bow]

[

sounds like you and I could be quite the team, Cyndi.  My dh shakes his head b/c I've got enough powerful gas for the both of us and the dog combined! lol

You know nothing of my awesome and terrible power...Avada Kedavra has nothing on me....

[Lizmo]

My bad etiquette usually involves weddings.   

The one I'm most embarrased about happened last winter.  My boss and one of the managers at our job got married in a small ceremony out of the country, but they had a pretty big reception.  Let me give you a little background...these two kept their relationship secret for several years, and my boss is a pretty good looking guy.  I, along with many of the other girls that worked for him, always joked around about how hot he was.  He was aware of our crushes, it was just for fun.  Even though it was in good fun, but I always got the impression that the woman he married didn't care for me much. 

Anyways, fast forward to their reception.  I recieved an invitation sort of late, and I never RSVP'ed.  I didn't actually think I'd go to the reception.  HOWEVER, I had started dating a manager at the same company, different department, who had also gotten an invitation.  He felt obligated to go...I felt uncomfortable and a little embarrased, knowing that the now-wife knew of my huge crush and I just didn't feel like it was appropriate for me to go.  Well, we went.  We didn't have a card, or a gift...and we get there and my boyfriend can't remember if he RSVPed or not.  So I'm at a really, really nice reception (with open bar and a buffet) for a man who I very openly crushed on for the past three years, whose new wife probably hates me, and we didn't even have anything to give them, AND we might have not RSVP'ed.  How embarrasing.  And I still feel bad, because I still work at the same place and I hope that every time they see me they aren't thinking how rude and tacky I am. 

[Chivewarrior]

I've got one for ya'll:

As some of you know from my other posts, I work retail, and this year on Black Friday the store opened at 5 am, meaning I had to be up at 3:30 am to get there on time.  Note that I am not a morning person please.  For the prior 3 days, I had told a "friend" of mine that I could not have calls after 6pm at my house on Turkey Day as I HAD to be asleep by 7pm.  She had assured me that if she called, it would be my cell (which I had turned off).  Of course, she called at 10 pm Thursday night on my house line.  DH, bless him, tried to get to the phone quickly, but it managed to ring 4 times and wake me up.  Here's where the badness comes in.......after DH got off the phone with her, I got up, mad as a hornet, and asked who called.  Then I proceeded to call her back and got her voice mail.....

ME:  "I don't know what was so dire that you had to call me at 10 pm when I have to be up at 3:30, but I want to you know that I do NOT appreciate this (insert 4 letter word here).  DO NOT (insert another curse here) call me back!!!

The next day, I get off work and check my cell for messages....."friend" responded with her own curse laden message about the fact that she didn't appreciate my tone when she wanted to wish me a happy Turkey Day.

So, of course, I got mad as h____ again (remember, not a morning person, and 8 hours of Black Friday mess) and I called her back.  This time, it was to inform her of what I didn't appreciate, ranging from being awakened, her tone, her selfishness, etc. 

Not my finest hour, I assure you.  I will however, say that this "friend" has a habit of late night/early morning calls for any crisis, being drunk, etc. with no regard for my or DH schedules (especially his as he works and goes to school at night)

Needless to say, we have been incommunicado since Black Friday.

I would say you were justified. I would also say that you shouldn't make any effort to renew contact and ignore her if she does. This woman is not a friend.

[Miss Misery]

Several years ago I was in a discount store getting my purchases rung up. In the front of the store was a little cafe. Sitting at one of the tables was a very obese woman.

She caught me gaping at her. *facepalm*

[Rei-chan]

Chivewarrior, I do think I was justified to be angry, but I shouldn't have cursed her out on her voicemail like that.  That's why I considered it bad etiquette.....I don't have any plans to speak to her in the future either.  If you only knew some of the things this "friend" did to me......   

[Clara Bow]

Willow, you too have had delightful friends who live to abuse?? I thought I was the only one who attracted every...ummm...rear orifice in the world!
Lucky us, right?

[Sirius]

He'd start dating someone, then she'd find some real or perceived slight and blow it all out of proportion, and guilt the girl into breaking up with her son. 

Poor D.   I'd love to know what ended up happening to him.  Does he still live at home with Mommy Dearest?  Did he ever marry?

Don't really know if he ever married, but about five or so years after we stopped dating he happened to be driving by my house (or so he said) and saw me in the yard and stopped and told me his mother had died.  He had become a paramedic and freelance news photographer, so he made something good of his life despite everything.  (It was too late to get back together; I was dating someone else by then, and I didn't really want to get back together with him anyway.)

[snoopygirl]

I lost my temper at work yesterday. At a customer. I didn't mean too but people had been pushing my buttons all day. I was on Express on a Saturday and we are into the festive season. This lady was with her friend. Lady knew she was going to our store, knew she was going to buy gift cards ( judging from what they were talking about this was a planed trip not lets just go shopping) so what does she do. Leave her savings card in the car. The savings card she had to have to get the gas points from the gift cards. So she yells at me to stop her order and how she must have that card. She starting running to the door and I just lost it. I said to her backside and her friend heard "No need to be nasty, I am a human being too. Her friend said sorry but her and the lady behind them had a good laugh at the incident. Yes she upset me and while working on the problem she made my sweet mild tempered boss stutter ( he stutters when he is upset). Still I shouldnt have lost my temper at a customer.

[Rei-chan]

Willow, you too have had delightful friends who live to abuse?? I thought I was the only one who attracted every...ummm...rear orifice in the world!
Lucky us, right?

I TOTALLY know what you mean!  This particular situation is sad for me, because this girl was actually a good friend for a long time, especially when my mom died.  It's just the past 6 years or so that things have steadily gone downhill.  Luckily for me, this is only the 2nd time in my life I have had to cut someone loose that meant a lot to me, but {sighs} I guess I'm young yet in this respect......

[MadMadge43]

After an extremely long day I was in my car waiting to make a left hand turn out of the parking area. Up comes a huge Hummer and a guy talking on the cell phone and has to wait right where I need to pull out. Not a bad on his part by any means. But I was thinking about how much I hate people who drive Hummers (endless list, but especially in LA they just take up too much space for the small streets, not to mention too much gas).

All of the sudden the guy looks at me and mouths "what?" And that's when I realize I was sitting there staring at him while flipping him off. I wish I could say I apologized but I actually looked back and him and mouth, "you".

I also once never got around to giving a wedding present that I had bought, because I never remembered to buy wrap and ended up selling it when I moved.