Author Topic: Guess who's coming to criticise dinner?  (Read 3862 times)

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Lisbeth

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Re: Guess who's coming to criticise dinner?
« Reply #15 on: April 03, 2007, 11:35:29 AM »
I'd ignore his pouting.

Picky eaters do not impress me.  They do not have to eat what I provide when I'm the hostess, but they do have to keep their mouths shut about their food preferences when eating in my home or on my dollar.

However, I agree with IndianInlaw that you should address any passive-aggressive behavior then and there in a firm but non-aggressive manner.
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Deetee

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Re: Guess who's coming to criticise dinner?
« Reply #16 on: April 03, 2007, 03:28:45 PM »
On thing I find about difficult people is that it can actually be a bit of fun once you decide to totally give up on them. Once I realized my stepmother never liked any restaurant, I stopped feeling bad about her not liking the ones I chose. (In her defense, sheís very equal opportunity. She is tough on the ones she picks too). Now we just let her always pick the restaurant and I never take her to my favorites (I found that having someone around complaining takes the shine off the place for me on subsequent visits. I start to notice all those flaws as well.)

So you know the Git will come and he will be a lump. Nothing you can do about that. It also really, really helps if you can depersonalize it. It isnít your cooking or hosting. Itís him. So have fun. Play a game of mental bingo on the number of ungracious things he does. Make a bet beforehand with your husband about the amount of food he will or wonít eat (Just donít burst out laughing at the table when you catch his eye after the Git take exactly one bite). Ask Git if he would rather wait in the living room while you all eat. Keep a pizza menu in your pocket and think about handing it to him, so he can order what he wants.

Aside from laughing at poor sad waste of carbon, just enjoy the company of the people you like and enjoy your lovely meal.   

blarg314

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Re: Guess who's coming to criticise dinner?
« Reply #17 on: April 03, 2007, 11:49:11 PM »

I agree - do your best to provide appropriate food and then ignore him completely unless he behaves like a civilized human being with a mental age of greater than two. The family argument doesn't cut it. I certainly wouldn't put up with behaviour like that from a blood relation.


Sophia

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Re: Guess who's coming to criticise dinner?
« Reply #18 on: April 04, 2007, 01:07:35 AM »
... Play a game of mental bingo on the number of ungracious things he does.
...

I wonder how he would respond if it wasn't a mental game?  I see a sheet of paper and pen at the table.  Husband and wife agree on a number of complaints.  Over she wins, under he wins, or vice versa, like a football bet.  At dinner, someone not in on the bet makes a tick mark for every complaint, but doesn't say anything.  If he asks about the score, tell him.  If not, don't.  You would probably need a 'no goading' rule. 

Venus193

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Re: Guess who's coming to criticise dinner?
« Reply #19 on: April 05, 2007, 11:50:27 AM »
I'm sure it's not especially polite, but I'd have a pacifier, rattle and jar of babyfood available. If he pulls this infantile garbage, whip his plate away and replace it with the articles more suiting to his behavior.

Why on earth does anyone tolerate this stuff? Sheesh!

I love this.  >:D

I'm also sure that people tolerate this stuff only because they don't know how to prevent or stop it without looking equally rude.

Clara Bow

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Re: Guess who's coming to criticise dinner?
« Reply #20 on: April 08, 2007, 08:04:07 PM »
Accept the fact that he's the death of the party and there's nothing you can do or say to change him.

Let him sit there while the rest of you go about your business.


Amen and amen. And if he says anything, or shows his tail, tell him that you do not tolerate that behavior in your home.
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Mikayla

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Re: Guess who's coming to criticise dinner?
« Reply #21 on: April 09, 2007, 11:06:05 AM »
It might be worth an e-mail to FSIL to say "Here's our menu for the family dinner. We wanted to give you advance notice so Git could eat beforehand if there's nothing to his liking."

(I'm a notoriously picky eater, and I would actually appreciate this. :))

How does the rest of the family react toward his hissy fits?

Not a bad idea, actually.

The general response varies according to the family member. FSIL doesn't take any rubbish from him, but can't shift him if he's in one of his moods. FFIL has also told him to wind his neck in on several occasions and FBIL has no qualms about arguing with him. FMIL and DF are more for family harmony and tend to just ignore him.

There is little point shouting at Git, I've discovered. He just sits there like a sack of cement and lets it all bounce off him. Unfortunately, also like a sack of cement, he manages to be solid and immoveable and generally in the bloody way, which can rather put a crimp on an evening.

I love that idea! 

But I do slightly disagree that FSIL doesn't take "rubbish from him", since she accepts his sabotaging of family events and disrespecting of her family.

That's when I first realized I loved my DH - when he met my family and tried to be so gracious and helpful. 


shadowfox79

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Re: Guess who's coming to criticise dinner?
« Reply #22 on: April 09, 2007, 01:07:17 PM »

But I do slightly disagree that FSIL doesn't take "rubbish from him", since she accepts his sabotaging of family events and disrespecting of her family.

That's when I first realized I loved my DH - when he met my family and tried to be so gracious and helpful. 



Well, she doesn't "accept" it exactly - she doesn't sit there and watch him do it or anything. She stands up to him, but he is completely immoveable when he's in that mood.

Admittedly, I'd have dumped him in her position, but as I'm not, I can't really judge.