Author Topic: The rudest host I've ever encountered  (Read 3532 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

junebugsfriend

  • Guest
The rudest host I've ever encountered
« on: April 09, 2007, 02:45:47 AM »
Hi all, I've been reading the topics and responses for a few weeks. This is a great site! I hope this is in the right category. If not, apologies to all. I'd love to know what y'all think of this:

My friend, "Junebug", and I were out for a matinee and lunch girls' day out on Saturday. She has been seeing a guy for several months, let's call him "Rick". When JB spoke to R earlier in the day he said if we wanted to we should stop by his condo on our way home. OK, fine.

When we arrive, R is drinking a scotch. His condo is configured in such a way that you can see his kitchen/kitchen bar area from the living room. He continues to sip his scotch and never asked us if we'd care for anything, even a glass of water. He gets up to freshen his drink (he's drinking an expensive well-known brand of scotch, which was sitting on the end of the kitchen bar). JB says, much to my embarrassment, "may I have a scotch?". Well, R didn't look thrilled, but what he did next stunned me. He went to a cabinet, took down another bottle of scotch (a very cheap one) and poured JB a drink. Mind you, we could see everything he did from where we were sitting. He still NEVER asked me if I wanted so much as a sip of water, not that I wanted anything, but still it would have been nice to have been asked.

After JB and I left, I asked her what the heck was that about and how cheap/tacky could you be! She informed me that this isn't the only time his thriftiness has shown through, either. Now I understand that we may not be privy to his financial health, but I just think it's a) rude not to offer your guests something, particularly when you're sitting there having something yourself right in front of them, and b) to blatantly serve a guest a cheaper brand of what you're having when there is clearly plenty of what you're having (when it's the same thing, whether it be scotch or a soda, etc.), and to make it so obvious, too.

I'm still shaking my head over this. Plus, it not only was rather embarrassing, but it also made me feel unwelcome, when he's the one who suggested we drop by.

OK, who was ruder - him for not offering us anything and then clearly pouring her a cheaper drink than what he was having or her for having asked for something to drink?

Rose2Bear

  • Guest
Re: The rudest host I've ever encountered
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2007, 03:28:44 AM »
I don't think she was wrong in asking for the drink - especially since you mentioned she has been seeing the guy for several months. In fact, if this is her boyfriend I'm really surprised she would even need to ask. At my old boyfriend's house, I usually just helped myself to whatever I wanted to drink in the fridge, and he did the same. And I have several good friends who know just to help themselves to whatever they want, although I always ask if they would like something anyways, but sometimes they decline and then change their mind an hour later and just get up and help themselves and I'm totally fine with it. So I guess my first point is, your friend was not rude in asking.

The guy, however, WAS rude for not offering something since he was drinking something himself and since he invited you guys over - its not like you just came by unannounced and put him on the spot. Also, the fact that he served her the cheap stuff when clearly in your view is pretty lousy. If he wasn't in blatant view then... eh who will know, still lame but whatever, but since it was in plain view... that's just weird. Obviously he doens't care if people knows he prefers to hoard the good stuff for himself. 

Makes me wonder what your friend sees in this guy to be perfectly honest... Well, I guess thats not fair I can't judge him solely based on this but... sheesh he should at least learn to improve his manners and learn how to share a little better! Is this her boyfriend??

junebugsfriend

  • Guest
Re: The rudest host I've ever encountered
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2007, 04:03:02 AM »
I don't think she was wrong in asking for the drink - especially since you mentioned she has been seeing the guy for several months. In fact, if this is her boyfriend I'm really surprised she would even need to ask. At my old boyfriend's house, I usually just helped myself to whatever I wanted to drink in the fridge, and he did the same. And I have several good friends who know just to help themselves to whatever they want, although I always ask if they would like something anyways, but sometimes they decline and then change their mind an hour later and just get up and help themselves and I'm totally fine with it. So I guess my first point is, your friend was not rude in asking.

The guy, however, WAS rude for not offering something since he was drinking something himself and since he invited you guys over - its not like you just came by unannounced and put him on the spot. Also, the fact that he served her the cheap stuff when clearly in your view is pretty lousy. If he wasn't in blatant view then... eh who will know, still lame but whatever, but since it was in plain view... that's just weird. Obviously he doens't care if people knows he prefers to hoard the good stuff for himself. 

Makes me wonder what your friend sees in this guy to be perfectly honest... Well, I guess thats not fair I can't judge him solely based on this but... sheesh he should at least learn to improve his manners and learn how to share a little better! Is this her boyfriend??

Sorry, I should have been a bit clearer. JB has been on only a handful of dates with this guy in several months, but she certainly doesn't consider him her boyfriend so she didn't feel comfortable helping herself to something. Had he suddenly remembered his manners when she asked him for a scotch I'd not have thought anything about it. Sometimes one gets distracted talking, but most people would apologize for the lapse and offer to make their guests feel welcome/comfortable. It was just so blatantly rude that I wondered how on earth someone who fancies himself so upper-crust (he's a snob in many ways and likes to brag about his privileged upbringing, his expensive German sportscar, etc., according to JB) could do something like that without any apparent embarrassment at all.

Oh, and I also forgot to mention that she won't be seeing him again due to his cheap, tacky and rude behavior and not just this incident! We laughed all the way home about it, but it did make both of us cringe.


Chocolate Cake

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5138
Re: The rudest host I've ever encountered
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2007, 09:36:11 AM »
Oh, and I also forgot to mention that she won't be seeing him again due to his cheap, tacky and rude behavior and not just this incident! We laughed all the way home about it, but it did make both of us cringe.

This was my question, so I'm glad to hear it!   I hope she'll tell him why she's dumping him the next time he calls to ask her out! 

outcastspice

  • Guest
Re: The rudest host I've ever encountered
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2007, 03:48:02 PM »
Maybe she was trying to clue him into the fact that he should have offered drinks? it doesn't sound like it worked, though!

Venus193

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15843
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
Re: The rudest host I've ever encountered
« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2007, 05:06:15 PM »
It was just so blatantly rude that I wondered how on earth someone who fancies himself so upper-crust (he's a snob in many ways and likes to brag about his privileged upbringing, his expensive German sportscar, etc., according to JB) could do something like that without any apparent embarrassment at all.

Oh, and I also forgot to mention that she won't be seeing him again due to his cheap, tacky and rude behavior and not just this incident! We laughed all the way home about it, but it did make both of us cringe.

BTW, has anyone ever found a way to point out that -- with or without the cheapskate behavior --  his braggadoccio is rude and insecure?

BurninDinner

  • Guest
Re: The rudest host I've ever encountered
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2007, 06:49:23 PM »
I don't think he could give a more clear message about how he feels about her.  And who is number one in his world.

Clara Bow

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 18183
  • I gotta go.
Re: The rudest host I've ever encountered
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2007, 10:21:54 PM »
Life's too short for bad scotch. I refuse to have any in my home. If you tried to slip me the two buck chuck, prepare to hear about it.
That was stunningly rude. I could see if she preferred the cheap stuff (who would?) but good gravy.....
I cannot imagine treating a guest that way.
I have finally found the bar I can't get thrown out of....

junebugsfriend

  • Guest
Re: The rudest host I've ever encountered
« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2007, 10:18:58 PM »
Life's too short for bad scotch. I refuse to have any in my home. If you tried to slip me the two buck chuck, prepare to hear about it.
That was stunningly rude. I could see if she preferred the cheap stuff (who would?) but good gravy.....
I cannot imagine treating a guest that way.

Well, the good thing is: he looks like an idiot and we have something to laugh about. The other good thing is she got a clear  look at his stingy and rude behavior and decided he was not for her.

Freckles

  • Guest
Re: The rudest host I've ever encountered
« Reply #9 on: April 16, 2007, 12:35:58 PM »
I don't think he could give a more clear message about how he feels about her.  And who is number one in his world.

I'm with you. She needs to dump him quickly, IMO.

Kena

  • Guest
Re: The rudest host I've ever encountered
« Reply #10 on: April 16, 2007, 02:14:40 PM »
R is the rude one here.  I'm surprised she's dating this guy.  Serving your girlfriend a cheaper version of the drink you're having doesn't mean your thrifty, it means you think she's not worth having the same things you treats yourself to.  I hope JB gets out of this toxic relationship before she sustains any longterm harm to her self-esteem!

Kena

  • Guest
Re: The rudest host I've ever encountered
« Reply #11 on: April 16, 2007, 02:16:14 PM »
LOL!  I just read all of the other posts.  Congrats to Junebug for dumping this loser!