Exchanging Gifts

[Chirple]

"I agree that it does get expensive to buy for everyone, but why should the kids get all the fun?  Let's do a Pollyanna/Yankee/Secret Santa for the adults as well."

This get's my vote! 

I was the one in my family who made "the move" away from adult gift giving.  I have 4 kids.  We started with all the kids put there names in a hat and all the kids drew a name.  We did this at Thanksgiving dinner.  We had a month to work it out.  Sometimes the kids switched names because, well, the 16 y/o didn't want to buy for the 2 y/o he wanted another teenager.  So, that worked out.

I had one brother who didn't have kids and he requested to throw his name in the hat.  We left it up to the kids and they said SURE!!! (He's rather loaded and they figured whoever's name he got would be good for gold!)

The next year we did both a kids and adults name in the hat.  We've done that since.

It works well, and no-one is left out.

[Squishygirl]

I don't think this has been mentioned yet, but why not suggest a family gift instead? That way there's a gift for everyone to open, no one is missed out and it recognises that families do not necessarily have to contain children to be recognised as such?

[Brentwood]

Ordinarily I have no problem with people suggesting the scaling back of gift exchanging. It can get very expensive and burdensome for many. However, in this case, it seems that you are expected to buy gifts for the other couples' children, so you will be the only people not "benefiting" (so to speak). It's a delicate situation in that you don't want it to appear that you're just out for gifts, but there's something askew about the suggestion.

I like the idea of a family gift - each family unit gives a single gift to each other family unit. You could suggest a price limit too, in order to relieve the financial pressure some of the participants might be feeling. The "family gift" could be something as simple as a keepsake Christmas ornament or board game, or a craft the family could do together, or a pack of movie tickets or something. This kind of compromise allows you and your husband to participate in the fun while still holding down costs for everyone. Do you think your friends would go for it?

[sammycat]

Ordinarily I have no problem with people suggesting the scaling back of gift exchanging. It can get very expensive and burdensome for many. However, in this case, it seems that you are expected to buy gifts for the other couples' children, so you will be the only people not "benefiting" (so to speak). It's a delicate situation in that you don't want it to appear that you're just out for gifts, but there's something askew about the suggestion.

I like the idea of a family gift - each family unit gives a single gift to each other family unit. You could suggest a price limit too, in order to relieve the financial pressure some of the participants might be feeling. The "family gift" could be something as simple as a keepsake Christmas ornament or board game, or a craft the family could do together, or a pack of movie tickets or something. This kind of compromise allows you and your husband to participate in the fun while still holding down costs for everyone. Do you think your friends would go for it?

That's very well said and an excellent suggestion.  I second the family unit gift.

[cjeanies]

Ordinarily I have no problem with people suggesting the scaling back of gift exchanging. It can get very expensive and burdensome for many. However, in this case, it seems that you are expected to buy gifts for the other couples' children, so you will be the only people not "benefiting" (so to speak). It's a delicate situation in that you don't want it to appear that you're just out for gifts, but there's something askew about the suggestion.


I was thinking the same thing.  I can't imagine being the one suggesting the gifts-for-kids-only thing when I'm one of the ones with kids suggesting it to someone without kids.  That's very bold.  I would be put off by it too.  That's a pretty thoughtless suggestion for the situation. 
I would suggest doing names from a hat or a white elephant exchange for fun and I would do token gifts for the kids, crayons and coloring books with candy canes or life-saver books.