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Author Topic: Goths have feelings too!  (Read 8802 times)

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lucy_in_the_sky

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Goths have feelings too!
« on: January 24, 2009, 12:41:58 AM »
Hello, all! I'm a serial lurker who finally bit the bullet and joined the circle. Pleasure to meet all of you! I have a story that could be amusing or something of a letdown. We shall see....

Here's a little background: This story took place in this summer just gone. I'm 5'4", with honey-amber blonde hair (I say this because it's neither red, brown or yellow, either) and gray eyes. I'm paler than most people, even in New England, which is quite the achievement. One night I went to a very kitschy Laguna Beach type place with a girlfriend. It was one of those 20-25 types of places...That is to say, no one there could have been older than 26. My entire outfit consisted of a black skirt, black tank top and the black sandals. I wore big silver bangles and very light makeup, and my hair was very blonde from being on the beach. I'm telling you all this because I do not look like a Goth. There's nothing wrong with being a Goth, I was one in high school, but I was dressed very understatedly. The only thing at all "Gothic" about my look was the fact that everything was black, and that was done more out of habit than anything else.

I'm minding my own business when this guy, who was clearly much older than everyone else in the bar (35-40) looks me up and down and says:

"Are you one of those Goth chicks?"

"What an interesting assumption!" I replied, aghast.

Him, very loudly: "Seriously! What are you even doing here?"

Me, still aghast, and rapidly losing my temper with his tone. "Drinking a martini."

"I didn't think they even let people like you in here."

Me:   :o ??? ::) (in rapid succession)

Thankfully, I was able to excuse myself before I said something wicked, but honestly. I can kind of understand making the Goth assumption, as it happens all the time, but he wasn't doing that annoying chat-up thing, he was being antagonistic. I don't know what he expected, but if he'd caught me in my less even-tempered days I might have said something down-right snarky.

macysnail

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Re: Goths have feelings too!
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2009, 02:04:14 AM »
what a creep.  i wonder if he was trying to hit on you and it just went horribly wrong.  you handled it very well though.

i got really used to wearing black when i lived in NYC and never thought twice about it.  since i moved back to florida i get a lot of comments on my outfits though.  apparently i should be wearing lime green with pink polka dots or something every day.

The Legend of Daisy

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Re: Goths have feelings too!
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2009, 05:39:49 AM »
POD to that. I grew up in the 80s in Toronto. Black wasn't just an option, it was a way of life. To this day, if something comes in black that is the colour I will buy. But just wearing black does not a Goth make.

I suspect that alcohol may have been exaggerating this guy's natural jerkiness.

faithlessone

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Re: Goths have feelings too!
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2009, 06:05:15 AM »
What a jerk!

I'm very pale, have long very dark hair, and wear an awful lot of black. I'm not a goth, but I do look a bit like one. I've never been treated like that, but if I was, I would be outraged. It's really no different to racism, in effect.

FoxPaws

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Re: Goths have feelings too!
« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2009, 11:43:11 AM »
So all the women (and everyone in the fashion industry) who consider a little black dress a wardrobe essential are......Goth chicks? 8)
I am so a lady. And if you say I'm not, I'll slug you. - Cindy Brady

MaggieB

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Re: Goths have feelings too!
« Reply #5 on: January 24, 2009, 01:20:30 PM »
Sounds like someone needs to watch a few more episodes of The Pickup Artist  :-X

Just kidding.

Welcome to the boards (you know, as a poster) and I'm sorry that guy was so rude to you!

lucy_in_the_sky

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Re: Goths have feelings too!
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2009, 09:03:30 PM »
Hehe, thanks, everyone! Yeah, he was a bit of a... well...  :-X

I was more annoyed that he was implying that I wasn't welcome at the bar assuming I was a Goth, not that he assumed I was a Goth. To me, it's like saying "You're not welcome in this bar because you're ____." It's just rude and obnoxious, and if it hadn't been a $10.00 martini I might have dumped it on him. XD I know, bad Lucy. Oh well. Next time, I'll go in with black lipstick, a black wig, and a pink babydoll. No one will know what to think.  ;)

(And, in case you were wondering, this happened in Boston, so there's really no excuse for assuming that a girl in all black is a Goth without probable cause. We all wear black! GAWD!)

immadz

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Re: Goths have feelings too!
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2009, 02:53:53 AM »
To reiterate :

Alcohol doesnt make people jerks, it only amplifies what is already there. This guy was a jerk of the very worst type.


K12144

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Re: Goths have feelings too!
« Reply #8 on: February 21, 2009, 01:06:39 PM »
Wow.  First I read it as the bartender saying that to you, in which case there's a very easy way to deal with it.  :)

Since he was a customer, I would've considered calling over a manager and saying, 'this guy is harassing me."  Might not'v'e been the most etiquette-approved thing to do, but on the other hand, maybe it would be if it kept him from doing it again to someone else.

whiterose

  • From the good old US of A!
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Re: Goths have feelings too!
« Reply #9 on: February 23, 2009, 07:10:27 PM »
What's wrong with Goths? They're paying customers too!

As long as someone is not being disruptive or breaking dress code, he or she should be allowed in, Goth or not.

I have pet mice!

FunkyMunky

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Re: Goths have feelings too!
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2009, 06:46:54 PM »

Funny - my friend (who is a goth) was told she 'wasn't a real goth' in a nightclub because she has *gasp* blonde hair. Coz all goths have to dye their hair, ya know.  ::)

I'm not a goth, but I like some of the clothing.  :)

Penguinity

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Re: Goths have feelings too!
« Reply #11 on: March 24, 2009, 06:58:21 PM »
I have nothing but respect for people who can manage to wear Goth stylishly.  I tried to wear Goth one time to go to a particular club with my friend...

And I looked about like this video at 30:48:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/61393/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-doppelgangland#x-0,vepisode,1

(Chosen in terms of awkwardness, even though it's not exactly Goth)

FunkyMunky

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Re: Goths have feelings too!
« Reply #12 on: March 24, 2009, 07:04:14 PM »

I can't speak for the US, but in our goth clubs, if you choose not to 'goth up', but just wear normal (preferably black) clothing, no-one bats an eyelid. I always revel in the chance to wear my 'weird' clothing and super-high heels.

If you turn up wearing bogan (redneck) gear, you won't even get in the door.

VorFemme

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Re: Goths have feelings too!
« Reply #13 on: March 24, 2009, 07:05:47 PM »
I wanted to dress like a Goth (long purple dress with six inch gold cross, dark hair (natural), and a hooded green cape in cold weather.  I didn't get to wear makeup (preacher's kid so none at home and I had too little spending money to buy some to sneak into my school locker).

The problem was that it was 1974 and nobody else was into looking Goth.  The music hadn't been written & recorded yet.  So I was the freak who liked to dress weird, liked to read, hated football, and wore glasses...........

Any questions about why I am not going back to a high school reunion for EITHER high school?  I might go in my seventies or possibly my eighties just to see if I managed to outlive all of them yet or not (from a quote - the best revenge is to outlive "them").  

If I haven't - well, why bother going a second time.  It's not like any of them would recognize my married name anyway!
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

Penguinity

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Re: Goths have feelings too!
« Reply #14 on: March 24, 2009, 07:11:44 PM »
That's probably true. I just didn't want to stand out.