One the other day at work...
I am a university administrator. Woman rings my office saying that she is landlady to one of my students and he has fled the country without paying his bill. She wants me to threaten to withhold his degree if he doesn't pay up.
I point out that we can't do that. She says "If he didn't pay his fees, what would you do?" I explain that yes, we can chase him for OUR fees, but we have no authority to withhold his degree because he hasn't paid someone ELSE money.
She then switches to "I know the Chancellor of your university! I want to be put through to the Chancellor!"
I'm well aware this is a load of crap, because the Chancellor is an honorary role given to a local celebrity. The highest ranking person who actually works here is the Vice-Chancellor, and there is no way in heck I'm going to pass this on to her office.
Instead, I pass her to my line manager, who manages to calm her down by letting her rant for a bit and saying "Mmm," while I sit and fantasise about going for a Mojito in my lunch break.