Special Snowflake Stories

[Hillia]

BG: DS is a licensed cosmetologist.  He is currently working for the family of his 'best friend', managing a high end day spa that they own.  The family is very wealthy and very, very entitled, and they cheat and rip off their staff (including DS) in a way that would make a Federal wage and hour investigator salivate.  The 'best friend' is a nasty, spoiled girl.  DS sticks with them because they know just when they've pushed him far enough and then he gets a big love bomb...'Oh, we love you, you're like part of hte family, blah blah blah'. 

So.  DS convinced the family to start offering Brazilian blowouts at the spa.  This is an expensive service; in the market there, it takes about 3 hours to perform and the usual charge is $300-$350.  The products to do the service are also very expensive.  The other day, Best Friend shows up with one of her friends, and has DS do Brazilian blowouts for both of them - 6 hours of his time plus two 'doses' of the expensive product.  It is customary for the family to get services done at the spa and not pay for them, but this does not extend to friends.  When DS tried to charge the non-family member for the service, he was told by Best Friend that there was no charge, and SHE is one of the OWNERS so just shut up and do what she says (she pulls this OWNER card a lot).

Well, the rest of the family/owners find out what happened, and they are furious at the cost in time and product comped to the friend.  There's a big meeting, and it's announced that someone is going to have $300 taken out of their paycheck.  I am so proud of DS - he told them exactly what happened, and asked if they planned to take it out of his check; if so, please let him know so he could resign right now.  At this point the family decided to take it out of Best Friend's check; she's now furious with DS for not covering for her or something.

An accumulation of stuff like this is finally starting to get to him in a way that my griping never could, so he's finally starting to see the truth of the relationships both personal and professional, and to pull away.

[Diane AKA Traska]

BG: DS is a licensed cosmetologist.  He is currently working for the family of his 'best friend', managing a high end day spa that they own.  The family is very wealthy and very, very entitled, and they cheat and rip off their staff (including DS) in a way that would make a Federal wage and hour investigator salivate.  The 'best friend' is a nasty, spoiled girl.  DS sticks with them because they know just when they've pushed him far enough and then he gets a big love bomb...'Oh, we love you, you're like part of hte family, blah blah blah'. 

So.  DS convinced the family to start offering Brazilian blowouts at the spa.  This is an expensive service; in the market there, it takes about 3 hours to perform and the usual charge is $300-$350.  The products to do the service are also very expensive.  The other day, Best Friend shows up with one of her friends, and has DS do Brazilian blowouts for both of them - 6 hours of his time plus two 'doses' of the expensive product.  It is customary for the family to get services done at the spa and not pay for them, but this does not extend to friends.  When DS tried to charge the non-family member for the service, he was told by Best Friend that there was no charge, and SHE is one of the OWNERS so just shut up and do what she says (she pulls this OWNER card a lot).

Well, the rest of the family/owners find out what happened, and they are furious at the cost in time and product comped to the friend.  There's a big meeting, and it's announced that someone is going to have $300 taken out of their paycheck.  I am so proud of DS - he told them exactly what happened, and asked if they planned to take it out of his check; if so, please let him know so he could resign right now.  At this point the family decided to take it out of Best Friend's check; she's now furious with DS for not covering for her or something.

An accumulation of stuff like this is finally starting to get to him in a way that my griping never could, so he's finally starting to see the truth of the relationships both personal and professional, and to pull away.

Spine level: Adamantium
Wisdom level: Veteran

Good on him! 

[alkira6]

Very happy about his spine! Make sure that he is actively looking for another job though-situations like this NEVER get better.

[Adelaide]

I'm a law student, so obviously I care about words and word choice quite a bit. My mother...not so much. She has an approximation for everything. She refers to the tv show The Middle as "Stuck in the Middle" and calls the Bamboo Garden restaurant near us China Garden. Sometimes it's minor stuff like the names of tv shows and restaurants, and other times she has an approximation for names and descriptions for things like my brother's official job description or the classes I'm taking.  I just got done with a mock trial competition involving a motion for summary judgment. Because of the way my mother conveyed this to my grandmother, said grandmother called me to ask me about the "court date competition". For pronunciations, she gets one idea of the way a word is supposed to sound stuck in her head and refuses to change. Sometimes it's pretty embarrassing to be in public with her if she keeps pronouncing things like "acai" and "rooibos" the way she does. When she refers to "rayobis" tea no one has any idea what she means.

When I gently correct her and say "Mom, it's Bamboo Garden" she gets indignant. She insists that it doesn't matter because everyone knows what she means. When I bring up the fact that a lot of people don't, especially if she's approximating restaurants to new arrivals, she brushes it off. I've tried telling her that words matter to me, but she doesn't care. I'm not alone in this, my dad actually feels the same way about it.

(By the way, my mother's mental health isn't deteriorating. The stuff she approximates isn't foreign, complicated, or anything that's she's heard about less than a hundred times. She just refuses to make herself learn the correct names and pronunciations for some things.)

[Minmom3]

I think I've mentioned this man before, but I just have to tonight.

We went to the clubhouse where my husband's sport hobby occurs, to have dinner. There's a viewing area and a seating area. We were in the middle of our burgers when the most horrible smell wafted through.

You see, there's a member of the club who works at a hog farm. And he doesn't appear to shower before coming to the club, much less changing his clothes, so he comes in reeking of hog manure. It permeates everywhere. I honestly do not know why nobody has said anything to him, it's that offensive. And it creates an embarrassing situation when small kids are present, because of course they want to know what the bad smell is.

It wouldn't have been (so) bad if he stood away from other people, in the viewing area, etc. But oh no. He came and sat at the next table from us in the eating area, and then stood 10 feet away (we could still smell him, he's quite pungent.) I lost my appetite and now am pretty queasy. I hadn't seen him all year so thought he perhaps moved to a different night. Nope, I've just been lucky. I don't know if other people will agree, but IMO it's incredibly snowflakey to inflict an odor that bad on people, especially people who are eating. Blahh.

There is NO smell quite as awful as pig.  When my girls did 4-H, for many reasons they didn't get to do pigs, but a contributing factor was the stench.  All the kids on the pig project had to have clothing and shoes that never even got in the car, that stayed at the farm with the livestock, and they changed in the bathrooms.  Once it's in your clothing, you can NOT get it out again.  I can't imagine coming to a dining establishment in those work clothes....  I don't understand why management won't talk to him and escort him out.

[Elfmama]

I worked as a manager in fast food.  We had a chicken salad pecan sandwich that we were required to cut with a different knife.  One time, I caught an employee cutting it with the same knife as everything else.  I told he him couldn't do that and had to cut if with a different knife.  He got flippant with me and said mayonnaise really wasn't that bad and so what if a little go on everything else?

I had to tell him it wasn't just the mayo, it was the pecans!  People have severe peanut allergies and the cross contamination could likely kill someone.  He blinked at me and I could see the weight of what I was saying dawning on him.  If it had been a cartoon, he would have visibly gulped.  The guy hadn't even thought of that!  He never did that again...

One of DD's friends had a severe nut allergy, and nearly died because the sundae maker at Friendly's allowed a single bit of nut down at the very bottom of her sundae glass.  His comment was "So it makes her sneeze.  Big effin' deal."

[Craftyone]

I've teetered on the PA/SS side today. 

I've moved states for my husband's work and am trying to find work here.  My last, year long, role was in a role which was a step down (and in another industry, long story) from my normal line of work as a personal/executive assistant.  Thus my last manager can't comment, though I did do some personal assistant type work for him, on what I'm like as a full blown assistant.  For some reason, they all want my last manager as a referee, which I'm happy to give but with the caveat that he can't comment on the bulk of my career and they will need to ring one of the other 3 refs as well.  Cue lots of head nodding, and "I understand"s.

I've just had to send off a 'gentle' reminder to one of the temp agencies that has put me forward for an assistant role to ring more than my last manager as he got a call from them and couldn't answer all their questions.  A quick email to my other refs asking if they'd been rung turned up nos.  I really wanted to send off an email saying geeze guys we had this conversation, you said you understood, so why haven't you done it.  But I was polite and tried hard not to be PA, while pointing out the problem, as I don't want to damage my chances with them.

[PastryGoddess]

I've teetered on the PA/SS side today. 

I've moved states for my husband's work and am trying to find work here.  My last, year long, role was in a role which was a step down (and in another industry, long story) from my normal line of work as a personal/executive assistant.  Thus my last manager can't comment, though I did do some personal assistant type work for him, on what I'm like as a full blown assistant.  For some reason, they all want my last manager as a referee, which I'm happy to give but with the caveat that he can't comment on the bulk of my career and they will need to ring one of the other 3 refs as well.  Cue lots of head nodding, and "I understand"s.

I've just had to send off a 'gentle' reminder to one of the temp agencies that has put me forward for an assistant role to ring more than my last manager as he got a call from them and couldn't answer all their questions.  A quick email to my other refs asking if they'd been rung turned up nos.  I really wanted to send off an email saying geeze guys we had this conversation, you said you understood, so why haven't you done it.  But I was polite and tried hard not to be PA, while pointing out the problem, as I don't want to damage my chances with them.

Why don't you put the reference who you actually worked as a personal assistant for as your first reference and your previous job as the second reference? 

[Craftyone]

Unfortunately it doesn't work that way here, you don't get to say who'll they'll ring first.  I've given my refs in order of who they should speak to, putting my last manager last and told them why. They nod, say they understand, then ring him and nobody else.

[snowdragon]

I worked as a manager in fast food.  We had a chicken salad pecan sandwich that we were required to cut with a different knife.  One time, I caught an employee cutting it with the same knife as everything else.  I told he him couldn't do that and had to cut if with a different knife.  He got flippant with me and said mayonnaise really wasn't that bad and so what if a little go on everything else?

I had to tell him it wasn't just the mayo, it was the pecans!  People have severe peanut allergies and the cross contamination could likely kill someone.  He blinked at me and I could see the weight of what I was saying dawning on him.  If it had been a cartoon, he would have visibly gulped.  The guy hadn't even thought of that!  He never did that again...

One of DD's friends had a severe nut allergy, and nearly died because the sundae maker at Friendly's allowed a single bit of nut down at the very bottom of her sundae glass.  His comment was "So it makes her sneeze.  Big effin' deal."

 And this is why I never eat somewhere that won't tell me if my allergens are in the food.  And this is why allergies differ from any other food restriction. My allergies will kill me, if I ingest them. Heck I get sick from merely being in the same room as some of them.  I don't know any other restriction that carries that weight.  The sundae maker should have been fired at the very least.  Charged with attempted manslaughter, would not be too much IMHO.

[violetminnow]

Unfortunately it doesn't work that way here, you don't get to say who'll they'll ring first.  I've given my refs in order of who they should speak to, putting my last manager last and told them why. They nod, say they understand, then ring him and nobody else.

Maybe it's something in the way that you're saying it that implies that there's something you're trying to hide about what happened at your last job. I think if a candidate were pushing me to not contact a reference, I would be sure to because I'd think that's where the real story was. Not that that's true in your case.

[Craftyone]

No, I'm not pushing them not to contact last manager just explaining that to validate my CV they'll need to ring one of the other refs too. He even says to them that he can't answer all their questions because I didn't do that type of role with him. 15 odd years of my career has been doing the higher type role so they're effectively erasing most of my working life. If they don't check what I've put is true how can they tell the client yes we've verified she can do xyz.

[Louie_LI]

   Dh said "Well any train coming through town HAS to go slower than it would out in the open so it's unlikely he'd be killed." I still tell my children that trains and their tracks are nothing to play around with.

I was once told by an engineer that at top speed, it takes more than a mile to stop a train. He said that rarely did he have the line-of-sight to see someone/something on the tracks in time to stop the train, at any speed.

That's what I was thinking, and even if the kid wasn't killed, he'd at the very least be inconveniently injured so why play chicken at all?

I was once on a subway train that someone jumped in front of, just as it was pulling into the station, so it was not traveling fast. Suffice to say, even at that slow speed, the outcome was fatal.

[BabyMama]

I think I've mentioned this man before, but I just have to tonight.

We went to the clubhouse where my husband's sport hobby occurs, to have dinner. There's a viewing area and a seating area. We were in the middle of our burgers when the most horrible smell wafted through.

You see, there's a member of the club who works at a hog farm. And he doesn't appear to shower before coming to the club, much less changing his clothes, so he comes in reeking of hog manure. It permeates everywhere. I honestly do not know why nobody has said anything to him, it's that offensive. And it creates an embarrassing situation when small kids are present, because of course they want to know what the bad smell is.

It wouldn't have been (so) bad if he stood away from other people, in the viewing area, etc. But oh no. He came and sat at the next table from us in the eating area, and then stood 10 feet away (we could still smell him, he's quite pungent.) I lost my appetite and now am pretty queasy. I hadn't seen him all year so thought he perhaps moved to a different night. Nope, I've just been lucky. I don't know if other people will agree, but IMO it's incredibly snowflakey to inflict an odor that bad on people, especially people who are eating. Blahh.

There is NO smell quite as awful as pig.  When my girls did 4-H, for many reasons they didn't get to do pigs, but a contributing factor was the stench.  All the kids on the pig project had to have clothing and shoes that never even got in the car, that stayed at the farm with the livestock, and they changed in the bathrooms.  Once it's in your clothing, you can NOT get it out again.  I can't imagine coming to a dining establishment in those work clothes....  I don't understand why management won't talk to him and escort him out.

It's a small club in a small rural town, and he's something of an "old timer"--I'd assume that either they're all "used" to him (as used to hog manure as one can get) or they're embarrassed to say anything to him since he seems an otherwise nice fellow. (Or they have said something to him and there's some extenuating circumstance that prevents him from bathing beforehand? Again, not sure.) The kitchen's just a husband and wife team and there's not really management. Everyone just pretends they can't smell him. I cannot for the life of me figure out how his teammates tolerate it.

I followed a pig truck home on the highway last summer, I was three or four cars back for about 5 miles. It was dripping, and the smell of pig got up in my wheel wells and air vents--I had to take it through two car washes before the smell went away. Yuck. I can't imagine how the car directly behind it fared. I've been in 4-H, I've been around animals, and I find it unbearable. My husband worked at a hog barn growing up and even he thinks the fellow at the club is rancid.

[Piratelvr1121]

That reminds me of a friend who dislikes the farm games on facebook.  She said she's done enough on farms in real life that she doesn't feel like playing a game that involves managing a farm.