I consider this a rather pathetic excuse to get out of helping someone. Red to red, black to black. Mark cables with polarity (engraved will do) and just put them on the right battery terminals. Really, it's not THAT hard, people! And I don't believe someone can't spare 2 minutes to help a fellow Human who's stranded.
Any boss who gives you grief for being a little late, should be fixed with a "look" and the comment "So, helping my neighbour with a jump-start so they could get to work is . . . bad, is it?"
As for an 'Auto Club', I'm happy you're able to afford it. We can't. So, the few times I've needed a boost, I've been dependant on others helping me -- just as I help those who need it. Generosity of spirit is part of being Human.
Fliss, I gladly lend my cell phone to anyone who needs an emergency call. I happily help people shove their disabled cars off the road, and when I lived in a snowier climate, my DH and I regularly used our snowblower to clear our entire block, plus driveways of those folks who we know were a bit frail. Yet I won't touch a car battery as I know myself to be unqualified to do so and in fact am probably a hindrance to others in that capacity.
If the fact that I know the limitations of my own mechanical abilities ranks me as "pathetic" in your eyes, I'm not sure that it's too much of a burden for me to bear.
As someone who relies on the kindness of strangers to jump them, as you say that you do, I'm glad that you feel free to hold the rest of the world who does not spring immediately to your aid with time, money (in the form of jumper cables,) and other resources in such withering contempt and scorn. It takes a certain kind of courage to condemn strangers based on their lack of car knowledge which you feel is your right to demand of them to not only know intimately, but to be prepared to deploy at your immediately command.